INHOSPITABLE CRANKS.

NZ Truth, Issue 252, 23 April 1910, Page 4

INHOSPITABLE CRANKS.

Prohibited Ashburfcon was Kailly of the ■ unpardonable sin of spending £33 14s 6d jon booze to speed the departing G overt nor on his titled way. In consequence J thereof tfae prohibition dog-in-the-manger, I who can'l; drink and reseats anybody else warming the cockles of his heart, is yelling himself black m the face 'over the incident. One "Grenadier," who is probably a hoHow-chested weakling, moans tmisly to the local paper :— ; "Being a ratepayer, and a . considerable number of ratepayers with myself holding total abstinence views, it is apparent that we are compelled to ,'fooV bill,' out of which we get no beoeiifc, and concerning ' the incurring of that bill we have no voice. Ratepayers as a •wheh? are more likely to complain, at the unnecessary expenditure, the best of which could be said of it was that it secured a questionable luxury for the privileged few who attended the banquet. And it is notorious that the worst Icatare connected with the use of . intoxicating liquors at banquets is not so much what occurs during the actual proceedings, but the consumption of the surplus by the ignoble victims ' of an uncontrollable and craving. Though there are ratepayers who tolerate expenditure for the small supplies* considered necessary" to 'honor' toasts, they are not likely to condone the outlay m such' excessive quantities as £36 14s 6d." The amount doesn't look unreasonable if the Governor v/as treated to.fizz., and, having due regard for his Ex's, exalted position, fizz, is the ' proper beverage to offer Mm upon the eve ot a long fare-" well. These guzzles and gorges are . entirely unnecessary, but since It-is deemed desirable by the puhlic, and particularly of gor-save prohibitionists to entertain his Ex., there is nothing leitbnt to entertain m the manner that he /desires .to be entertained — and his.-Kx.. .is not a prohibitionist. The prominent citizens are not; prohibitionists, cither, and as it is not unlawful to drink fizz., or whisky, or beer, those beverages are the most? reasonable moisteners to find on the table. If more than required was ordered with the expressed intention of having a good blow-out after the function it is merely an illustration of Avhat the most prominent people of Asbburton haqe been driven to by the wowsers, when.tfeey use ■the Governor's visit as a pretext for enjoying some good grog. If, as stated. :the "unnatural craving" «f "ignoMe victims" is "uncontrollable," it djldn't need •to wait for the Governor's arrival to assuage iteeff i; for Ashtinrton is reeking fwith vile concoctions that search diligently for each uncontrollable craving ►and dtown it for the time being. If the nncontroUsble craving survived, these «d»zles and tackled his Ex's, swankey, it would have been iaifAressed with the marked improvement m the liquid, and swear of chain lightning brands m the future. "Grenadier, 'j or '-'Graimy-dear," reaped similar benefit from the banquet, with other' ratepayers, m that the know"ledge that his Ex. got enjoyment from the function ,; the banquet was promoted to give him enjoyment, and . it is extremely bad taste to object to any particu-. lar item on the menu, simply because the objector didn't care for that item. A certain sectjion of religionists didn't eat ham at the banquet, but they didn't protest against its inclusion. Many people are averse to cabbage , and cucumber, but they do not, for that reason, raise an outcry against their admission to a gubernatorial banquet. This footing of-the-bill ! cry is illogical on the face oT- it. As a' matter of fact, the wowser escapes a

| large amount of taxation, and ifc is a question for the Legislature if a Bill fihoukl not be introduced to ensure a more equal division of tbe burden. Beer, spirits, wiacs and tobacco are perhaps the most heavily-taxed commodities used by the community, and the miserable prohibitionist, who doesn't smoke, escapes payment of his whack of taxation for the upkeep o£ the country. He is such an unreasoning individual that lie doesn't realise tbe stupendous danger of prohibition to himself. With the taxation removed from liquor, by tbe latter's abolition, the prohib. will be. compelled to shoulder his share of the burden, and his job will be at the mercy ol tlic brainy person who now drinks principally because he is brainy, but who will distance the average no-liceusc person m a dry race because the average no-license person's principal recommendation now is steadiness as . a dull mediocrity. For a wowser to complain about footing the bill m the circumstance evidences an imperfect conception of tbe position.