BRIGAND BRUNTNELL.

NZ Truth, Issue 181, 5 December 1908, Page 4

BRIGAND BRUNTNELL.

FIRST A BOOZER, NOW A

j BOUNDER.

From Pub to Parliament

The Truth About His Political

Career.

Now tbat we are entering on a weft earned three years' .test from loud, rau-cous-voiced and rancorous No-license lunatics, though not forgetting tbat. tas jratiks will silefitly toil and give. Bung another "go" next election, the . question uppermost m the minds of aIL honest man,, is, what, the devil do. ,the professional anti-curse agitators, intend to; do m the meanwhile, ■ m the stjaptoj usei ful productive toil, anil incidentfctfy -Keep the. police off their track with ta&i dragnet of loaferdom— the Vagrancy A«t. It if not at all necessary lor this paper toenn* merate the professional Is'p-license lunatics and Prohibition pests . who for months prior to . the . General Klection simply swarmed from alf parts of the world, regardless of education tests, alien rectricjtion Acts, poll-tax or any * other legal -enactment tending to preserve inviolate the homes and hearts of the people from the encroachment. 'of undesirables whether they he Chows, ■' or any other colored race,, spielers, frauds and- Humbugs' generally, and . whenever a black-coateu coot , is found out for the : humbug he : is; there" doesn't seem to be any limit to bis roguery. Now, mosV of thfe- inipdrted Prohib. pests that lately, aimed at mgtlcing everybody' miserable,, have, since poll-, ing day-, remained saday , sitent, and per A haps their only trouble ? just at present is the collection of the dollars which they "spruiked" for, and. Prohib. pests, particularly the-, imported variety, are not m the habit of spouting for "nix." Being professional, they want.

THEIR CUT OF THE GATE MONK Y, as at were, and the wonder is where on earth- the.Prohib. push raised the needful. However, as we remarked, lsitr., Palmer and Cp/'have subsided with a bijg ..subside, and <with ,the exception of puijl icly blaming God (and incidentally tatcng up a cofieCtiQn) for not' making New Zealand . dry, the : hungry, .lank, lean, shuffling mob seem to have disappeared [almost as mysteriously as they lapdeu. There is, however> a' notable: exception, and that notabte, if ignpble, exjception, is 'Briggy"; Bruntneil, a sort of political ■.vill-o'^tlite-wisp, a peregrinating drummer, >vho. will take you up any garden roof .vith any 'line of ,' religion, you prefer. ! V[6st people .Will wonder why we call this blatant bounder "Briggy," and we hasten to explain. Originally, he was con;ected with' the Salvarm'y and .ranked as '. 'Brigadier," ' but 'perhaps , due to the fact -ihat that Semitic-snouted .boodle-hunter Bill Booth is the only ore allowed to make anything out of the. "Blood and Fire" . . joint, ' "Briggy" chucked it aad started out With a. line of clap-trap ok he Prohibition racket. "Briggy" ratted, '•as it .were; and perhaps the funniest m; ■;ident m his checjuered career was when . he ' headed- the poll -m. a Sydney bye-< 2 lection and actually sat m. Parliament close on. a yeai'i. But .more of this anon The ■Ight m New Zealand, of course, broujght 'Briggy" over, the water, and though tie lid not show his carcase m Wellington, the Salvarmy . rat confined , : himself To the ountry and more than once during the jampaign, it was this paper's pleasant Uity to. show New Zealand Uie sort, of idventuring humbug Bruptncll is. Kow ye find "Briggy". out on a. lecturing . -.rouse,* and though there is nothing dis.lonest. m earning a crust that way, 'Truth" would much prefer to hear 0! iim going on the land, cow-punching or "Ome other healthy, useful .occupation, )f course, the "gift of the gab" is a. lranA? sort of thing when , one is featherless, >tit Bruntneil is just the sort

TKfAT LOVES THE WORKING MAN, tnd loves to see them wort while h«i" ives on them. Being gifted,' as indicated, tt is peculiar to find" that- "Briggy *' r is ntitling his lecture, "From' Pub. 10 Farjamefit," and if country papers are to be .elieved; the attendance of. . the public is -mall indeed, ' which, of course, means, nuch to the Brigand.. Now, if "Briggy" s to be, believed., or at least if the ireports of his lectures are accurate, tbe Salvarmy fat and political adventurer is i reformed drunk, and' he gives us a !i a start m the very beginning oy having been bom m a pub m some corner of South Wales, where his venerable ■ pater ran two beer-pumps. It was m a pub. that "Briggy learned to thirst, and apparently he loved to be thirsty becau.se> uen .were ever iready to shout .for him n his pater's pub., which candid cotiiesoion shows that "Briggy" was 1 a v bummer early m life, and certainly if he doesn't thirst nowadays he is making ,<ood m other directions. "Briggy" seems, moreover, to be ashamed of nis father for keeping a pub, and whether a pub. or something that , is kept m pubs, was responsible for his appearance m a police is, from a newspaper report, not boo clear. Moreover, m youth, he was a . sinner and never went to church and never saw a clergyman^ tilt at last the Army collared him, an& after grafting -with t.he Army for- 184 yeanrs he ratted. (M cour.ee, che individual who from a public platform \brazenly brazons forth his wretched career and ' blames it to der-rink and charges people a bob a nob to hear the sad and shikkered story, of his life must Jiave the hide of a rhinoceros, and there .ought to be a fortune awaiting some enterprising showman who gathers together 4 small army of reformed drunks and set them off telling hoW .shikker tieat them at the beginning, but how it got it m tha neck afterwards. Bat. only a "Br.i£gy" Bruntneil could, come at anything so low. Tis sort do anything or say anything ather , THAN RAISE A' CROP OF CORNS

on their lilywhite mudhooks 1 . Further, wading through "Briggy/s" biography, from alow-down Welsh pub. to the New .South Wales Parliament, one would imagine that the bounder actually 6et tti« pace with the Almighty m so far as tb« Local Option poll went m Mew Soutn Wales, Then he comes to Parliament. At his first try he was beaten badly f "Truth" does not err, by tfie late Vzidy. Oricfc,. and it was for the constituency 'of Surry Hills, Sydney, that '.'Brvggy" fluked it. . The Surry Hills seat was, held by Mr, John Norton,: who resigned.' \9 contest another constituency. There \&a a rush for the vacant seat, the contestants including R. D. Meagher, now re^t^senting a Sydney City constituency and: a Labor candidate, "Biiggy" was eU&ted and represented a minority and held "the seat some time until the General . Elections , approached. Bu% says "Briggy,'' 1* was .on account of & proposed . visit ' to England that he did not' again offer his services to the electors. Bluff , "Briggy,'* all bluff. As he r.attedMjn the Harmy, so did he rat on Surry JSjills, "Briggy" fled from it as if it was pestilential ; ht sought a country constituency and was badly beaten. And "Briggy" knows that what is here said is the truth, and so far as Surry Hills is concerned, : "Bnggy" has as «uch chance of ever being returned to Parliament as Tommy Taylor "has of being taken home blue blind. Writer was born m Surry HiHs, and when rt' was announced that that sturdy, democratic constituency had returned Bruntriell, the cause of Temperance was knocked back a decade. Anyhow,

"BRIG&Y'S STAY IN PARLIAMENT was as a minute compared with the hours he spent m a pub. "From Pub. to fai.diament" is something calculated to catch stray bobs, and if "Briggy" thinks that New Zealanders are so deeply interested m his drunken escapades and the fact that he %vas fed and kept and educated on. the proceeds o£ a snypoo shop, then "Briggy" will be a disappointed ma,u« Of course", if the Harmy reclaimed . him, "it accomplished something, but even then the fact is not worth boasting about* If he had not ratted on the Harmy, "Briggy" might be more respected thaa he is. Anyhow, blow "Briggy," Wt would lite to say something else, but the printing machine would, not stxn*