"IN HIS LITTLE SHORT SHIRT!"

NZ Truth, Issue 180, 28 November 1908, Page 7

"IN HIS LITTLE SHORT SHIRT!"

Lewis, Liquor and 'Language!/

it is not nice for a lady entering her dream-nest to find a strange, ail-tjut naked man lying m an exposed position on her -'own- chaste bed. As a spectacle it is not nearly as idyllic or inspiring a$ a rutfy sunset over summer seas of dimpling blue, or the virgin, snow-white halo round the head of a frothing, full-pint, pewter or a thirsty Sunday. One. does not .wonder, therefore, that a higtily respectable and irreproachable young married woman living m High-street, Dunedir, was shocked and incensed last week-end on entering her room and finding an unspeakable biped named George Lewis lying asleep m the bleak and unsheltered condition indicated above. Oops. Rasmussen and UMwards _were called m to collect the egregious George, and he used horrified language on being roused from his sweet Klysian dreams. He wa& duly introduced to Mr Widaowson, S.M., on Saturday ; morning and called on to answer the dquble-bar-relled charge of being dtunk and using obscene language.- The liquor-loving Lewis cut a shatyby, sheepish figure m the dock. Blinking out of soggy eyes , like a maudlin, mounting morepork, he was a shocking livmg picture, of the morningafter misery. Sub-Inspector Norwood narrated the blushful episode. Lewis, he said, must have' staggered m .through the open front door of the house when nobody chanced to be around. The. occupiers were absolute strangers to the amazing George and didn't know him from a bar of Monkey Brand or a cold pork pie. , But that didn't worry Lewis.. He went

INTO THE CONNUBIAL BEDROOM, undressed, lay down on top of ,the bed, and was soon snoring the stertorous sleep of the shockingly snickered. . The Sub-Inspector also spoke to. the nameless language used by the lout Lewis, who kept it up on the way to the jug, and seemed to give extra force to it as ladies passed. . The words were handed up on> paper, and as the Bench gazed at the polduted parchment he shivered m disgust.

Lewis couldn't have *said much m extenuation m any case, and he sawl less than he might have done. "I ,'ad ther drink jn me, yer Wershup, and I don't know what I done. 1 don't remember anythink about bein' m ther 'ouse. I spose I muster fell m through ther door." •

In reply to the Magistrate the SubInspector said. Lewis had not been charged with being unlawfully on premises — as he comld have been— as the occupiers of the. house were very respectable people and werp much ■ averse to coming into court, to give evidence. Lewis, he added, had just been discharged From the Tarawera, and there was no record against him.

Mr Widdowson : I take into consideration your previous good character, or 1 should certainly have sent you to gaol without the option of a fine. I^ned 5s or 24 hours' for^being drunk, and £5 and costs. 3s for using obscene' language. Lewis had £4 18s 2d on him when arrested, so there would be a shortage that would have to be worked out m jug.

General Joubert, the well-known leader m the South African war, is now m New York advertising for recruits to fight against President Uastro m Venezuela, stated the ' London "Mail" 'of September 13. A considerable number of applications have already been received, and General Joubert says he is confident that the force he will be able to take back will be of great assistance to the revolutionaries. Evidently "Jouby" is keeping- his hand m, pending another Boer rising.

Me Andrew CarncKlfl'H benefactions to date total over £25,000,000, The chief of these.j according to a Home paper, are. as follows : — MOO Htol'ifiK. £8,400, 000 ; Scottish unlverglMfW, £3.000,000 ; Carnegie Institute. WlizbUTU, £4.000,000; Pittsburg Polytechnic. 4J2.000.000 ; Hero Fund, America, £1000,001): I'ciiHions for American professors, £(„000.000 ; Carnegie Relief Fund, £800 000 : Dunfcrmline Fund, £500,00(3 ; //flgue Pence Temple, £300,000 ; King KAv/tmVtt Tfospitai Fuad, £100.000. Mr Carrjfigie retired from steelmaking with a (Hiplt.ul of £40,000,000 and an incomq of between £2,000,000 and £1,000,000. Yes, It has cost this moral murderer a pretty penny m the vain endeavot to soothe his tortured Conscience. An old man, with an only invalid daughter, the canny Scot's chickens have come home to roost.