A HOPELESS BOOZER.

NZ Truth, Issue 151, 9 May 1908, Page 4

A HOPELESS BOOZER.

SEVENTEEN TIMES CHARGED

Goes to Pakatoa for Penance.

Lawless' Awful Lust for Liquor.

Swankey drinkers are not confined to one particular spot of this terrestial globe, nor to one country, they are found m every country under the sun. and perhaps "the flag on which the sun never sets" covers a greater percentage of besotted, blithering drunks than any flag, which is certainly not a credit to "we Britons born." Qne of the army of etenial swisbers of the unholy purge which steals a man's brains— or, more correctly, which takes charge of the fool who Jias no brains— came before the Sphinx-like Riddell, S.M., who presides daily at the drunks levee .m Wellington, on Wednesday. This consumer of drinkr. drink rejoices m the name, of Edward J 4 Lawless, and apparently he ably GRACES HIS LAWLESS NAME. Sub-Inspector O'Donovan related m th« pink ear of the Sphinx how the Lawless drinker had arrived m Godsownkuntry from foreign parts m 1905. accompanied by his wife, who was previously a widow, and who probably regrets that she did not remain so. During tbe residence of Lawless m this religious country he had managed to come before the beak on no less than seventeen occasions as the result: of . a tickling m the throat, for which Lawless always • prescribed long beers as an antidote. Last year the soaker was duly presented at court six times, and has also been ' presented on three, auspicious occasions during the last nine months. . The bloated soaker ofswankey had been a source of great anx- • iety to his wife, who had done everything to save him from the curse of "derink." According' to Sub-Inspector O'Donovan and the general cop. Lawless was a good case to send to a placeentirely surrounded with . drink. The? presiding genius Riddell appeared to be greatly impressed, and he acquiesced with the suggestion, and Lawless will for 12 • months be given a well-deserved holiday, and be provided "with board and lodging free, gratis, and for nothine. ;it Pakatoa, for. which he should be thankful.