NORTH'S NAGGING.

NZ Truth, Issue 150, 2 May 1908, Page 1

NORTH'S NAGGING.

HIS GARRULOUS GAGS ON GAMBLING.

This paper must concede the biscuit, cake, bun, and the whole bakery to J. J. North, parson of some sect or other, for barefaced impudence and unoaralleled cheek. His paper, read before the council of somex« on the churohes the other night, takes a lot of beating for ordinary mis*; statements, absolute falsehoods, r a.na: inconsistency. When it comes to hof stuff this man North is out on has own he's a hummer, a ring-tall snorter. He'll allege anything that he thanks will put a nail- m the cofiioi of the bookmaker., pr the punter, or the racing clubs, or anybody that doesn't turn out on Sunday with a bible and hymn-book, and put a coin of the realm m the collection plate. His effort before that select coterie of wowsers composing the council of some of the churches is the best up to date, and < 'Truth," just wants to ask Mr North and his ardent admirers a few questions coneerodnji- that same paper, and atcuxacy of some of the statements mswie therein. "Truth" had occasion s««kv« months back to challenge J. J. Nertfe's statement, made to a Minister of th* Crown, that: the editor of #ite jwiper was "adroitly" absent m C%rjsl church what. ..time' a certain siriicle appeared, the said article beta* m the eyes of North and his pmh, inideoeot. "Truth" challenged N»rth at that time to make the stat«n»nt definite, and said m- language flb&t everyone could understand that It be dared to state publicly wbat he isrtl insinuated to the Minister, he trik* a liar, pure and simple. Just a •common garden variety of liar arid xathinc: Jelse. In his paper to the ••uticii of some of the oh.urch.es ba h*« shielded himself behind "alleged!" a*4 "I have it. oh good authority, 1 ' •Ac.' Alter "Truth" has reviewed same of North's statements, it is going to ask him the source of his information, and the name of his "good authority." But to the paper iteell first.

Mr North said, according to the "Dominion," and as 'that report -has not been contradicted, it must be ttfeii as fairly correct, *'The suppression of the publication of betting rites and of dividends had checked Wtting. No sane- man dreamed that. it would 'do more than check it. Stills-street and the Quay were not Ki*eked on race days by men craning fair ntcks to read dividends of r*e«s occurring at the North Cape or at Stewart Island." Now, did North orer hear of races being held at either place ? Of course he didn't, and he Knows full. well that if a race meeting, were to be held at either it '.•■would -not attract a crowd m Willis-street or. on the Quay. This ia only one small example of how men like this nasty man North flute wfcen iet^ loose v upoh their pet fad. North Cape to Stewart Island sounds W*l.l ,even if it isn't true,' and what do the council of some of the church's W«wsers care whether it be true •r not ? This can be called " exaggeration" No. 1. Now we come to exaggeration No. 2 which this famftlv i««rnal has no hesitation m classifying as a plain blanky lie, born of ij*acp€rience and cjedulty. Here it it : "The dividends had to be learned by wires i, sent by 'bookies' on the course td 'bookies' m the city. The wwuracy of the telegram- and the mAn who sent the telegram had to b© taken for. granted. These risks *r«co taken by some of the hopefuls, •a Tfhoni the bookie lived. The r icing «rQWd were laughing the other w»ek at the following coup :-<A bookme&er got a wire. through with' uneKMnjpLßd celerity, and knew the wina^r iv a late race a long while befern the average man could know. Efts touts met "punters" as they left work, aid advised them that the harse which ran third was a sure ffluna. The clerks of the 'bookie' WJ«ce handy, and booked heavily on the loser, to the great mirth of the <".ute TJencillers."

Cheerful liar. Can North name any reputable bookmaker who paid out false dividends ? Can he name '■ the "bookie," . as he calls him, who had touts out to catch money on a lace ija result of which was already known? If he has this knowledge •vrhy does he not name the man and have him removed from the turf for eycr. If he can prove such a charge aeainst any bookmaker that man will never be admitted to any course »fCaija. If he can prove it through his pimp let him do it. Again, his statement that the "accuracy of the telegram, and the man who sent it.

has to be taken on trust" is an insinuation as siliy as it is malicious. If there was as much good-fell oAvship among church people of the North breed as there is. among sports, the fellow that niade' such a dirjfcy insinuation -wouldt be.:.,kicbed ,pjit of a school withi £ .ftard .' kick. <M X course, North T ';fias / ; bWnv^cimed vp 1 to this and Id&'infdrniaiit; being a renegade sport^|ftr>'^Tcu)ik, ,ajid a waster, is natur^yjyivipfljlKJ 10^^ to put matters i;bßforenish|ißaiin:. a proper lighthence North's i-^jitrocious; blunders. His ioisinuationrC^e's great on insinuating) thai tMjbopkm alters doing business iri.tjie city' give their clients false prices is as silly as... it is. Raoing people only laugh at such a statement, but a certain portion of. Afoe public are apt to believe such a palpable falsehood, and, it is on be^half of these people; that "Truth" points out the absurdity of the statement-. Let it be understood that the man who telegraphs the prices to the bookmakers is as much bounds to wire the correct .dividends as J. J. North, is hound to condemn the people's pleasure. A race meetinrj never passes but hundreds of patrons return to the city with their books \ marked showing every winner and dividend paid- How would a bookmaker get on who paid a fab.c p'ic-e? He would be boycotted from the fir&t day he showed a point. Does J. J. North think the racing, public a/c as simple and as easily gulled as the mob of fools he preaches to every Sunday, and persuades to believe m his dirty insinuations s\nd blackguardly utterances. •• * • •

The Rev, Ranter goes on:— The racing clubs professed great hostility to the presence of the bookmakers on their courses. A ereat deal of their talk was mere froth. For instance, the President of the Manawatu Racing Club recently railed at the Act of 1007 and especially a* the bookmakers^ clause. He exhausted himself m denunciation of the -'bookie" yet his own club men, at the recent meeting, strolled round the "bookje" ring and planted bets with the men their president was stigmatising. It was the same on every course. Unless this paper gave too great prominence to the custom, prominent Wellington Racing Club men would T)e ,seen at it at Trentham this week. The club men had always been the main resource of bookmakers. If the Racing Conference had any real conscience on the bookmakers' clause, it would disciualifv any race club member who hads any dealings with pencillers on the course . or m the city. No class ifa. the community couM have a keener dislike of bookmakers than the ministers.. But they had an equally, keen dislike for hypocrites, and they ventured to say that racing club hostility to bookmakers was the merest bunkum, and ft at apart from club support, the bookmaking business would be hajf naralvsed. Let it be noted that' bookmakers had been handicapped by this Act to- the tune of, say, £4000 a year. It cost that m fees to" follow the business. Hfl was assured that very few pencillers could stand the strain, and some were "broke." It was safe to say that if this city business were killed (as it must be by the Ward profframme). and if racing clubs were consistently hostile, there would be precious few of these men applying for licenses a year hence A pretty statement, indeed, for a minister of the Gospel ! A J.Tachiavelli indeed ! The law says that bookmakers shall be .licensed. and here is a petulant priest advocating that racing clubs should be "consistently hostile" and * ! there would be precious few of these men applying for licenses a year hence " This means that North would advocate that the 'racing clubs should flout the law and force the bookmaker, whom the law says SHALL be granted a license, out of existence. "Truth" received a notice, a few weeks back, that if it made any further remarks .re thcr Blackball strike it would be prosecuted for "lese majesty." or contempt of court— or something eaually dreadful. What is wrong wUh Vrrth be-ing-prosecuted for inciting the rating clubs to break the lam ? Bookmaking is a legal occupation, and how dare tforth, or any other interfering pul-pit-pounder, call nnon the ri>.(ine authorities to make +<he conditions of his calling so hard tliat he cannot r?arn a living. Honest men regard tbe law. Thieves, vagabonds, and some o.tfeer people have a wholehearted contempt for it.

• * . * Before the present Gambling Bill became law North and his push howled themselves iioarse about the

awfulness of the' double machine, and demanded that this iniquity should

be effectually killed and put. through; the destructor. A committee of cold-feoted-'mem'bers allowed the . clause prohibiting the double machine, to. her come laiy. "Truth" pointed out at the time that the Wowsers were barking, .up the- wrong T sapling whenthey Jiowled for the abolition of the double joint. The machine locked up so much money s that it restricted, and not increased, the volume of betting on the course. Whet/hex "Truth" was right or not m its contention may be gauged from the following skriak from, North about the onetwo dividends.

Their (the clubs) plan was the doublft dividend/ The clubs did not care twopence lor the public welfare. They openly rejoiced at' the upleap of investments on the machine, though /it was the despair of editors, politicians, and / moralists. (What does he mean by this.) Their method of scooping the pockets of the betting crowd and stimulating fresh investment on the machine ■was by the payment 6i a sccocd dividend. By the payments o! dividends on two horses,, the moneys invested on a race were scattered far more widely than they could be by a single dividend. This dodge for stimulating Gfet-: ting was inaugurated m 1901, and it was frankly admitted by racing men whom he had spoken to on the subject that i*- very materially increased their revenues. The suppression by law of this spur undue gambling was a thing; to aim at.

Was there ever a more inepnsisfenti ranter. First, he roars at the double iirachme which locks- the money up and restricts betting, and then he roars at the one-two dividend because it distributes the money ataong the greater number and thus increases betting. There could be ncf possible question as to the popularity of the double tote when that machine was m existence, and there can be no question as to tbo onetwo dividend tote being more popular than the one dividend tote. North is therefore clamoring for the retention of the most unpopular tote ol tha three. A tray sample of North's nastuMuss- He would stop the popular double tote which decreases tha toliu»e of batting would stop the popular one-two dividend tote •wkich Increases the volume of bettin* and would retain, the 'unpopular one dividend. Is this man honest In his desire to check betting, or is ho merely tilting at anything, that gives the people pleasure ? It certainly looks as though his one object was to slap the public m. the face.

There is plenty more of the sama misleading, inconsistent, a<ttd absolutely wrong statements throughout this marvellous North paper, but space forbids further criticism. There is one question, however, that v thiiJ paper would like to ask this North man. Can he deny that he received his information re "bookies," "billiard saloons," and other little incidentals that a person is not expected to know anything about, from a gentleman known about tow-n as Flash Millar. This Flash Millar is a man of absolutely no-class. A sort of cross between a welsher and a third-class guesser. He was vagged some time ago, arid merited it. He got it hot and strong from Dr. McAffchur for ill-treating Ms wife. Hfe is looked upon by all decent . sports as a foul-mouthed, loathsome brute. Hie has the hide of a rhinoceros, and the cheek of the devil. He's been mixed up m more shady turf transactions than any guesser m New Zealand. His reputation stinks, and no one who knows him would trust him out ot sight. He is a pawnshop^ snort, a pimp, a blackleg to his" own class, a man devoid of decency, a parasite, a rank rotter, and an unblushing liar. Are statements to be made m pulpit and press on information gleared from such a source ! * * • * The Rev. Williams said he was glad v Mr Norths statements would be made public through the press. "Truth" is glad he's glad, and hopes -this little /contribution to publicity will make him gladder.

All that titters is not cold. *. * * The irony of fate— having to crack- blue; metal for a crust. * '*:..'■-* ',' " 'Even :ama;& off the chain can come to the' end' of his tether. N ' * . * . • * -■* ■'■■■ A Jew is unlucky when passing a bad odor with a nose . the size he ' wears. Courtship is a sort of flying trapeze period which only matrimony can steady down. * ♦ * v The really stingy . man is the fellow who will not teil a story at his own expense. * ■*-■■•■ ... Liars sneer inwardly at those who Relieve them, and feel' spiteful towards those who do not. *'*■ . * ' There is one item of military tournaments that is not wholly masculine. Women arc experts at "tilting the ring." * * ' * According to the Hawera "Star" two pi^ m Hawera weighed 12, 000 1b5. The editor must have had a nightmare or something after a supper of pork pies. In Adelaide the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has prosecuted a ■ man for giving a.dog a pint of whisky. Serves him right ! Any man deserves punishment for wasting good booze m that way. * * * The only "sensation" the village of Milton could x-aise last tveek was a "hitch-inK-up" between /two Salvationists. To faitbfnlh describe the e"?<-,nt the local paper has had to wait a. week. Up-to-date is the country press. * * • | The French Government has struck the names of thirty firms off the contractors', list for supplyine; tainted sausages to the troops. 'In Wellington ' iamted meat 3s thoughtfully supplied to the poor, for a j, consideration by religious missions. * * * According to the London '■ 'Globe, '* Austvalia's invitation to the American fleet is a signification of fear of a Japanese invasion. Yes, well what about the little brown man's invite to"' Uncle Sauvvel ?.. i Are the Japanese also afraid of an Austkalasian invasion r No blanky fear '. ** * • Japan, is the only country m the world m which fashions for ladies have not changed materially for 2500 years. Oh, would that Wellington women were Like women m Japan ! We'd then see 'Very husband here, A truly happy man. * * *

"What a frost Rua, che Maori false prophet is proving. On Good Friday he announced his intention ot burying himself m the ground sill Eastei Monday, but he turned the game >ip. As a. ''profit" Rua may be all the money, but at the other game he'b the worst sh*t ever took it on. * * ■ * Some action should be taken with a view of regulating the pace of the tramcars, m the city. The present speed is so great that it is a menace to life and limb. The (act that they are not private money-making concerns is all tho more reason why fish should not he made of one and flesh ot the other. *' • ♦ A wealthy' lady, Mrs Watson, who died recently, left money to establish a pensions fund for clergymen. "Critic" hopes that the fund will be administered'as drastically as the Government old age pension fund, and only' clergymen ■ of good repute be allowed to benefit. Quite a number of Anglican and Methodist.devildodgers- seem to have been sailing close to the wind recently. ■. € ■ * * V According to an alleged journalist . m Palmerston North, many people had an idea that a. reporter was a Paul Pry who was continually trying to pry into people's private business. This was not soThe editor's difficulty was not to get material to fill -jp Jiis paper with, but to soft out what was best from the mass ot stuff that poured m on him. And as the alleged journalist is the editor of a local tripe-wrap, he hasn't got over that difficulty yet. **" • * When the French Parliament recently voted a sum of money to be spent m the transference of the remains of M, Zola, the realistic novelist, to the Pantheon, the place where France delights .ito deposit its illustrious dead, a c sturdytongued Nationalist member protested, and created a sensation by denouncing Zola's writings as filthy, which many of them undoubtedly are. Usually French novels consist of nice nastiness, but Zola was honest enough to make them honestly nasty, and perhaps he had no deliberate intention of)pointing out many of the morals which his admirers profess to see m them. ** " * BURNS'S LATEST PUNCH. Tommy Burns,' the champion American boxer, fought and won a ;ase m the King's Bench Division, London, about a month ago. He sued one Benjamin Pearce Lucas, proprietor of the Empire, Bristol, for £221, alleged to he due under an agreement whereby he was to receive 55 per cent, on the takings, at tlje doors for the week ending January 13. Tommy entered the witness-box dressed m the height of fashion, and wearing kid gloves of a very peaceful-looking nature. He eventually got a verdict for the full amount claimed. It wasn't the great solar plexus, Or even a right to the point, With which Tommy the 'Murican wonder Knocked this luckless coon out of joint; It wasn't his. great reputation, Or even his attitude fierce, That caused such an awful sensation, And settled poor Benjamin Pearce. It v was merely the men m his corner, 4.n.d their wonderful grip of the law, That settled brave Tommy's opponent, And won him the battle once more.

When carpenters go on strike there's the deil to, pay. .•/**•.• • - .•■ r-^ .♦ • -r^r ''!* '■,* The "charm of. a young. thing is not always m her face. , ' « ■ * * ■'■■'■♦•;■,. The printer who pies a forme doesn't "break the news" gently. Some men look foolish when they propose ; but are more damned foolish if accepted. *■' ■ * • A few men- make themselves wretched because they love some woman too much, but millions of women make men perfectly miserable by their persistent devotion. is * •„. .. # , * Have we an inspector of cheap hasfr" houses? If so, lot him bog his frame into the kitchen, where he could reap a harvest of prosecutions. Likewise he could bag a ton of typhoid germs. * * * Palmerston North was happy when Gov. Plunk, took up his residence m Essexville, but tbe fact that his Ex. will do most of,. his entertaining m Wellington has been a sad blow to Snobboeracy. . * * * The sluggard ought to go to the elephant instead of the ant. The big fellow only sleeps five hours m the twenty-four. He makes up for it though m another v/ay, and sluggard or ant can't get near him. i * * * It is claimed that only one out of cvi cry 250.000,000 passengers on British railways meets with- an accident. A good average, 'tis true, but when tbe accidents do happen the average gets a bad shake. * • • Advt. from daily :— "Wanted to purchase an up-to-date sausage machine, new lor second-hand. Size and price, etc." Here's an opportunity for owners of mo-tor-nars to get rid of their stench disseminators.

New Zealanders last year consumed 173.080,000 eggs. This year there is a general election, so a record ought to be esI tafelk&sd. "Truth" often wondered where all . tie eggs went to. As there are so mauy old hens about the answer conies easy. The announcement by cable that a French chemist has invented an electric quick-firing gun capable of discharging I.WO shots a minute, is inclined to make a. fellow wonder whatever would happen at all- if a dozen such guns were let loose oh him for half an hour or so. The chances are he would never get over it. Times have changed for the pilgrim\ who yearn to visit the sacred tombs of ; Jerusalem. Once they journeyed there" throughout many months, with the ' dirt of travel m many .strata on them. Now they are subject to quarantine regulations, and have to show a clean bill of health before they can gather dust from the Mount ot Olives Hygiene may yet conquer the whole world. ♦ * * There is what is called the "honeymoon train", on 1 the' Dunedin-Christchurch run, arid ii contained no fewer than sixteen newly-wed couples one day last week. The guards and officials who have to pass through the rice-strewn compartments arc becoming demoralised •by the foolish spectacles en route, and it. is rumored that married guards only are to be employed on this particular train. ....*■ * . . * Since- the dudes on the. block have left o3.. sucking -the handles .of their canes as they ogle' the sweet girls, the latter have taken up the practice. 'It is quite common of an afternoon to see delicate-look-ing young women strutting around and swaggering a silver-mounted cane. "It's so "handy, you know, dear," a jealous piece of antiquity whispered to her mashtr, "while so many ill-mannered puppies roam about." 1 ' ... * „ ♦ • The "Harmy'' ' always hangs around "Prison Gates" to get hold of discharge^ "birds" to give them a helping hand, and by the elderly Henry if the released prisoner accepts their help he pays for it with % the sweat of his brow. They graft the soul out of him ; he works for a wage ' that would make a healthy Unionist take to drink, and they call the Army benefactors. They're miserable, coldblooded sweaters, and the Unions of New Zealand ought to roar loud and long against "the iniquity. The Army knows how to trade on ■ other people's misfortunes. "4

Something m the way of a record was put up by a Mastertoiu lady on Thursday, and a record no one is likely to attempt to break. She owed two Master ton professional meny who happened to be bro- i thers, a guinea each, and to one she paid j a ten-pound note and a shilling, and to the other a five-pound note and a shilling, by mistake of course. It was not until the evening that the'recipient discovered the mistake, and he hastened to restore the surplus. On informing his brother of the mistake the latter had another look at his supposed guinea, ' finding ; it to be £4 m excess. A lady like, that world make fortunes for lieople, if she were a Wellington barmaid.

Heaven only knows (and it won't tell) why the intensely respectable person should so often sympathise with the yellow horror when it fractures the law. C6al : merchant Hargreaves is admittedly the most judicial-minded J.P. m Christchurch, yet when three tricky Cliinkies were arraigned for working at Marshlands on the Sabbath— upon the . urgent representation of the scandalised neighfa or sr-Har greaves remarked, "I am very reluctant to record a fine m a case like this." Why ? If a common European drives a nail on Sunday, he is visited with the displeasure of the pious and the thunder of the law, but a filthy Mongol should he wrapped m cotton wool and treated as a person above the law. If the yellow mongrels were m the coal, line Hargreaves would probably giye them six months' without the option, if he had the power.

1 'Tja a poor flood' that brings nobody Wood, * ■•' v? *. * Modern pessimism is ancient Calvinism with Providence left out. .'«■■'■■*'..'.,'* * If; God .made man m his own image and likeness— but there, it might be . blasphemous to go any further. * * * In spite of the alleged progress of the Prohibition party, the beer duty last year showed an increase of £6391 on the previous year. * " * * In order, no doubt, to make their "mark" on history, the English suffragettes have gone m for a system of tat.tooing on Cabinet Ministers' doorsteps. ** ■ * On city trams, m the evenings, when people are going^ome from work, the cars are so overcrowded that the populace literally hang on by their eye-brows. This kind of thing should surely be stopped. * * * ■ A Wellington Bench sentenced a man convicted of begging to three months' imprisonment' the other day. Greater and more intolerable beggars, such as 1 the Salvation Army and other religious bodies, get credit as philanthropists. , j * * • A cynic sums the situation up thus : If those who live a. slow life go to Paradise as slowly as they live, and those who live a fast life go to the devil as quickly, the latter will finish their term of purgatory before the former reach their destination. *. * * A mean burglar has been "discovered," but has not yet been found by the police. Finding nothing else of Value, he robbed the cradle of everything it contained, bar the baby. It has been truly said that the hand that rooks the cradle robs the world. y *. * • Somo of the guards on the Manawatu line are veritable storehouses of informaHjon. "Critic" heard one say "Don't know" to three different questions asked •him by passengers the other day. He didn't add, . "and I don't blanky well care," but he looked it.

'Twas poor economy for a well-known Christchurch estate agent to advertise certain, land for dale, and conclude it by saying, "Good spec, frectick." Tickets was the word meant, but the mob of hungry deadbeats who welcomed him on his arrival at his v office the following morning made a hasty retreat necessary. A passing tram saved the situation, however, and into it the agent streaked, breathless and shocked. * * * A : South Island paper last, week published a gushing paragraph concerning ayoung mlan who fell from a tree and sustained some slight injuries. Said paper forgot to explain that the young man climbed that tree to get a free looft at O'Neill's buck-jumping show. A fellow mean enough to come at a caper of that sort deserves all he gets. If the newspaper wanted to sympathise m the affair it should have sympathised with Ernie O'Neil for being cheated for a bob. * •' * • • The large arnvr of lamp illuminators who go forth daily m Christchurch to fulfil the scriptural injunction, "Let there be light," gives the average spectator the hump, if he is oonscious of the avoidable waste of energy and needless expense. Fitted with an automatic clock-work arrangement, set to any time, every street lamp m the city would light itself and extinguish itself nightly at a tiven hour it the' small attachments were round up regularly once a week or a fortnight. The saving m lamp-lighters' wages would pay for the contrivances m a week or so. A little town like Carterton, m the South Island, which has' installed these attachments with a pilo/b light, can givn Christchurcfi a lesson m this respect. * ■<■ * * . . White-hott Cross Bun Blight told a Christchurch audience that it was right ■for a youth of fourteen to have sexual ' desire, but wrong to exercise it till he was twenty-one, but early marriage was desirable. A Judge of the Arbitration Court told a young fellow he ought to be , ashamed of himself for marrying on £1 a week. The Judge, according to Blight, should have commended the sweated person for his pluck. How is it that tire pious are always on the side of the sweater and teach tho victim T>atience and brotherly love when they ought to be charging Hhe wealthy employer with the crime of preventing early marriages ? "I must feather the nest before I marry." said a young fellow to Blight. "Well, don't put too many feathers m ; leave room for' the young ones," responded the sex literature monger : and the large audience,- which came there for that sort of thing, laughed at the Dious lokelet, which is on the border--land of lewdness. Blight advises the slave to i?raft for a lifetime and bring' un a family on a miserable pittance, instead of lifting up his unmusical voice m denunciation of the. brutal sweater.

The cannie folk at Royburgh. Otago, i have burnt their fingers over the photo enlargement fake. A fashionably-dressed young man descended upon the district while the inhabitants were having porridge, and opened a beautifully-framed enlargement of any old photo on the premises, for the, small sum of half-a-dollar, or 3s, or a crown, according; to the circumstances of the dupe. The population had never heard of anything so cheap before, and fell over their bluchers m their eaprerness to close with the bargain. Then somebody read m John Norton's "Truth" that twa-and-saxpence wouldn't nay . for ihe .glass m the frame, and m an agony of apprehension for the coins paid m advance, half the population marched down to the pub. Avhere the can- %- vasser was staying, and demanded their cash and photos under penalty* of death, or something similar. A terrified fakir wacS shedding wealth until late m the night, when a large army of frantic victims remained unsatisfied. These invaded the pub. m the morning, but the bird had flown, per Shank's pony, leaving a huge pile of unenlarged photos behind.