SMILE AWHILE

New Zealand Times, Volume LIII, Issue 12507, 24 July 1926, Page 16

SMILE AWHILE

Miss Spriggs (at the piano): Do you like music, Mr Jones? Mr Jones: Yes; but please don’t stop on my account. Schoolmaster (to pupil who is late for class): were you born? Pupil: On the second, of April Master: Late again! “Oh, yes,” said Mrs Mcßae, “iny husband is an enthusiastic archaeologist, and I never knew it until yesterday. I found in his desk some queer-looking tickets with the inecripUon: ‘Sphinx, Bto I.’ And when I asked him what they were, he explained to me that they were relics of a lost race. Isn’t it interesting?” Cuthbert: The last thing anybody should do is to look tor a gas leak with a lighted candle. Clarence; It very often is. The railway carriage was full, and the small boy stared at , the fat man opposite. ■■What are you staring at me for?” asked the fat man querulously. “Because there’s nowhere else to look,” replied tile little chap nervously. Iraflic Cop; Don’t you know the traffic regulations? Motoristj .Not yet; I’ve only been studying tnem for three months. Judge: This is a case of simple theft. Prisoner (who lias pleaded not guilty): Simple was it! I’d like ter see yer Honour do it. Mistress: How is it, Mary, that whenever J come into the kitchen I find you gossiping with the baker or the butcher. Maid: Well, ma’am, if you reallv ask for the truth, I should say it was them nasty, soft-soled shoes as you come creepin’ about in. the matter, little hoy?” said a kind-hearted man. “Are you lost?” “No,” was the manful answer; “J. ain’t lost—l‘m here. But I’d like to know where my mother and father have wandered to.” Inks: I’m making a few shillings with my pen nowadays. Jinks: Ah! An author? Inks: No; a pig dealer. Wife (to husbaqd, who has been left in charge of the house for the evening): Good heavens. George, look wliat you’ve put in baby’s cot! Where’s baby? Absent-minded Husband: Hang it! I was wondering why the hot water bottle wouldn’t keep still* \ .