Anecdotes and Stories

New Zealand Times, Volume LII, Issue 12211, 8 August 1925, Page 11

Anecdotes and Stories

v ..THE POOR PRINCE A wealthy Vancouver merchant 'was commenting the other day on the Prince' of Wales’s hard life. “My niece was, talking to him one day during his visit to British Columbia,” he said/ "when an autograph fiend came up and asked if he would mind, writing his signature for her. ‘Yes, I would/ said the Prince, promptly, and continued his conversation.” 1 ' IN A WORD Sir-Samuel Walker, Lord Chancellor of Ireland 1892-95, was celebrated for his powers, of repartee, and for a gift of_ describing a situation with accuracy: in a dozen words. Ho once described a book —tbe life of a certain Lord Chancellor, who figured in many questionable and stormy episodes of public life in a sentence which entitles him to a high place in the florid - of criticism. "The book," he said, “is of the’very highest interest, as the life of a very great rogue written by a very great fool. MR BALFOUR- SCOPES Dr. Tanner was a- member of the. House of Commons, now only remembered as a prominent member in "scenes.” -He was fond of tormenting Mr .Balfour,' who,--al- - though quite imperturbable when seriously attacked, , and able to listen calmly to unfavourable comparisons between himself and all the most hateful characters in history, had one weak point on which ho was -really sensitive— l ridicule of his well-known elegance' of deportment. . Dr. Tanner was well aware of this, and on one occasion-went out of his wav to complain, that Mr Balfour had treated him "in ,a most unladylike manner.” Mr Bal/bur/hpwete.r.’ eubsequeptly contrived a most excellent 'ecore ofl'-Dr. Tanner in return. Some small boys had been imprisoned for celling copieß of a suppressed newspaper in the streets of Cork. Dr. Tanner immediately took to selling copies of. the same paper, but was not interfered with by the police. When questions were asked in the House about the prosecution of the newsboys, Dr; Tanner asked whether Mr Balfour was aware that although he also had sold the suppressed newspapers, he had not been prosecuted. "Yes, sir,” answered Mr Balfour, I '-I was aware’ of the lion, gentleman’s activities, but the police I .were directed onlv to-arrest persons - of* political import unco." 1

ESCAPE OF GAS A man in a railway carriage who wanted, to read his newspaper bore, with, patience the incessant chatter of his neighbour, until he could endure it no longer. Looking at bis garrulous; friend over the top of his paper, he said: "For heaven's, sake, shut up, .old man. Why you’re like the. 833," * "Like , the B 38?" said the loquacious traveller. "Why, whatever do you mean f” ‘I mean," retorted his friend, "that the rent under your, nose lets the gas out." HER REQUEST ■ Ignace Paderewski, the supreme Polish. pianist, .dining with friends one night, in Paris, was persuaded at the end of the; meal .to play a rhapsody, which he did with good grace and brilliance. •Pale with'emotion, a young woman who had ■been fluttering for a time on her ehair, suddenly stood, up and'said:— . "How divinely you play, maitre, i but may I ask you a question?" "Ask it, I beg of you." “Is a quaver played quickly?" ''Good heaven, I should say it is." ' And a semiquaver?" . "Much more so." said the lady beseeching- • iy," do play one for me." THE SILENT GUEST ,Mr Jerome K. Jerome, author: of 'lhree Men in a Boat," says that Sir James. Barrie could easily be .the most silent' man he ever met. Sometimes he would sit through the .whole of a dinner without speaking:. . Once a beautiful, but nervous young lady was banded over to bis care. 1 With the' sole an gratis, Barrie broken the. silence:— .'JHttVO you ever been to Bgynt?” 1 lie young lady was too startled to answer immediately. It was necessary t ok her to collect herself., .While, waiting for tile; entree, she turned to him. » ' "No," she answered. Barrie made no comment. He went oft with his dinner. At the end of the chicken en casserole, curiosity, overcoming her awe, she turned to him again. ‘‘Have you?" she asked. A far-away expressions came into Barrio's great deep eyes. . . . “No," tie answered. After that they bulk lapsed into : eilcnco.