ARMY NOMENCLATURE

New Zealand Times, Volume XLIII, Issue 9965, 8 May 1918, Page 3

ARMY NOMENCLATURE

ITS RISIBLE ASPECT SOME GOOD STORIES TOLD BY oirraoEEß. . That the Defence Expenditure Commission is by no means without its humour was shown on Monday last when the icl/iosyncracies of the terminology of the Army and Navy came for a moment into the limelight. “What is the meaning of ‘quartermaster’ —quartermaster-sergeant, quar-termaster-general?' 1 asked the chairman. General Sir Robert Anderson. Colonel Tate (Adjutant-General) confessed frankly that he did not know. “ You will have to alter the whole of military nomenclature," he said, “if 3'oti are going to have terms that will be intelligible." “And why not " asked the chairman, with an iconoclastic gleam in his eye. Colonel Tate hazarded that the quartermaster was originally a man very much in the fighting line—a man in charge of a certain corps dr unit. Tho chairman; ‘‘Yes, in charge of the men with the quarterstafl's, no doubt." Colonel Tate; “But, I suppose he afterwards looked after the scores."

“Would it not be a good chance for Now Zealand to come out with a sensible system and alter all this?” asked the chairman. ‘‘The whole world would follow her example. In the Navy they used to have ‘larboard’ and 'starboard,' and they were always getting mixed up because of the simdlaricy of the sounds. They could not alter it, however, because grandpa had it that way. But at last a great accident happened, and t*cy altered it to ‘port’ and ‘starboard.' And now the Americans come in, a supremely practical people with ’a great navy under war conditions, and they alter it to ‘right’, and ‘left,’ the sensible thing;, and it, will bo ‘right’ and ‘left’ all the world over before long.” "Then, take ‘adjutant-general,’ ” added Sir Robert Anderson, “what does it mean? It convoys nothing, does it?” Colonel Tate again confessed that he did not know the meaning of the term; and admitted that there was room for an alteration in military nomenclature. Sir Robert Aitderson: ‘‘l advise you to take it up. There is fame awaiting the country that .will take it up.’’ Colonel Tate: "We are following tho precedent of the regular array.” The chairman: ‘‘Yes; but isn’t that what gets you into a lot of trouble P Why not strike out a line of your crof” -Colonel Tate: ‘‘.l could tell a perfectly lovely story about the introduction of new military nomenclature, if there was time.” Sir Robert Anderson: ‘‘lf you can guarantee that it is a good story, we will iaako time.” Colonel Tate; ‘"A.D.E.O.S.’ was the new nomenclature. A highly distinguished man in Wellington went to Palmerston North to take up his old job of District Storekeeper. Ho was quite happy qnd pleased about it, and was going to settle down very nicely and comfortably as . District Storekeeper. But when he got there ho found that he was to be called ‘A.D.E.O.S.,’ and he feared that his status and all his emoluments and allowances as District Storekeeper would vanish into thin air. He went to tho people in charge and complained about it, but they could n»t explain it to his satisfaction; and, finally, it came down to Wellington as a solid, substantial grievance. Of course ‘A.D.8.0.5.’ meant ‘Assistant Director of Hiuipment aud Ordnance Stores,' and the jobs, the pay, and the emoluments, etc., were exactly the. same.” " Mr Charles Rhodes (a member of the Commission): "It would have been awkward to call him ‘A.D.E.V.E.’ ” Sir Robert Anderson: “This actually occurred in France. I suppose yours is a true story. An Australian in France bad token over a house, and the D.A.D.R.T. demanded that the place should bo handed over to him. But the Australian, a railway forwarding chap, would not give it up. The D.A.D.R.T. insisted.' ainj referred the matter to the ‘higher-up,’ who wired instructing tho Australian to hand the house over.' ‘The D.A.D.R.T. can G-T.H.,’ telegraphed tho Australian in reply. He was cited for this, and there was a terrible tow ; but, he innocently inquired, ‘AVhat’s wrong. I meant tho D.A.D.R.T. can got the. house.’ "