Page 2 Advertisements Column 3

New Zealand Times, Volume XLII, Issue 9622, 30 March 1917, Page 2

The young chaplain had just been appointed to a battleship. He desired to amuse and instruct his men, so ho arranged to giro lectures on Bible scenes with lantern slides. A sailor who had a gramophone was secured to discourse appropriate music between the slides. The first picture shown was Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The sailor cudgelled his brains to find something suitable. '‘Play up, play up!” whispered the curate. Suddenly an inspiration struck Jack, and, to the consternation of the chaplain and delight of the audience, the gramophone speaked out, “There’s only one girl in this world for me.” The snow was falling heavily as a broken-down instrumentalist was striving to cajole a. medley of Christmas melodies out of his battered euphonium, wh»s a lady beckoned him and offered him a shilling to play "Christians, Awake.” ■ The musician thereupon rendered the air with as much vigour as the elements would allow. "Splendid!” exclaimed the benefactress. “Play that through again five times, ami I will give you two-and-six.” Thus for a full half-hour the street rang with the well-known melody. Pocketing his fee, the musician asked, "You seem fond o’ that tune, don’t you, missus?” "Fond!” echoed the lady. "Why, I detest it, only—my next-door neighbour is a Jew.” For Bronchial Coughs taxe Woods' Great Peppermint Cure, Is 6d.*