A GENERAL’S TROUBLES

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 8737, 20 May 1914, Page 5

A GENERAL’S TROUBLES

SIR lAN HAMILTON IN HUMOROUS VEIN. In the course of his speech at the civic function tendered him by the Mayor and Borough Councillors of Palmerston North, Sir lan Hamilton put Jiis audience in good humour by relating his experiences in Hawke’s Bay on Monday morning while en rout© to Palmerston North from Hastings, reports the “Standard.” They .set out in a motor-car from Hastings at 7 o’clock, said the General, in the teeth of a bowling blizzard, It blew so hard that the only way they could make progress was to put dow n the hood because the wind was delaying the car with it up. Then the wind got worse, and finally the motor broke down.-" (Laughter.) There he was, a full-blown General on an emptv road,- with no alternative but to walk. Fortunately the express train came along at the terrific rate that an express always travels—(loud laughter) —and tlie engine-driver was so astounded at seeing a full-blown General marching along th© road that ho stopped 'the train! - (Panther laughter.) So they crawled over a barb-wire fence and got aboard. The courteous en-gine-driver stopped at the Taka.pau camp siding for him, and when he got out of the train it was_ still blowing and taming hard. He said ho thought it always rained at Ta-ka-paU, and gave expression to his opinions of the place in the following lines, which were received with much nmrriment:— When next New Zealand’s sons you muster. Beware, my friend, of the southerly buster. It turns all Maoriland to flood. Save here and there a Jump of mud. It treats the soldiers anyhow. Especially at Takapan.

Although blue in the face the-men at the camp were not down-hearted, and after looking carefully at them he was so moved with the spectacle that he began to address them. “And when that engine-driver saw I was going to make a speech,” said Sir lan, “ho blew his whistle and steamed off, leaving mo with no alternative but a tramp along tho road to the Xaka-pa-u station.” (Laughter.) Ho’.Vever, near the camp, ho said, he mot two ladies in a motor-car, and they offered to forego their ride in order to save him a walk. This, he sa.id, had again sot him composing poetry, with the following result: —

Oh woman, on a snnny day. You go on any sort of way; But when it rains at Takapau A ministering angel thou.