THE COMMENTS OF BAGSHOT

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 7419, 22 April 1911, Page 9

THE COMMENTS OF BAGSHOT

(Second Series.) SOME WOELDLY ADVICE. (“Westminster Gazette.”) Bagsliot’s niece, Holly, lived with her nncle almost continuously from her fourteenth birthday until, six years later, sho married a young barrister, Charles Harman, who was fortunate enough to . possess, in. addition to! his professional prospects, some private niehus of his own. Bagshot warmly.approved of this marriage, and took enormous interest in all that concerned Charles and Holly and the two children that were horn before his death. It would he tedious to. follow their relations at length, for they extended to alt manner of commonplace things, but from the letters-Mrs Harman has “sent mo I have selected a few passages which seem to'me-to possess some interest. Here, to begin . with. - are. two extracts from letters written in 1900, a few months before the marriage, when Molly was staying with her- future parents-in-law: You are going to marry and leave me, and, like the, dear child you are, you write that “it will be just the same,” and that nothing will ever change your feelings for me. I should be very disappointed if you didn't eav it, niy dear Molly,-, and we should both be very foolish if " we believed it. Ypu • would he vastly indignant if I suggested that you would have to share Charles with his mother, and he won't like, it-any better if someone suggests that ho . has to share you with me. Well, that in itself makes a change, and we shall both be all . the happier three years hence if from the beginning we-set out to the neutral territory we can' cultivate to-gether,-and don’t pretend there are no private preserves. No secrets from Charles! Of course not; but some innocent things which Charles won't want to know about \ you, ’and many innocent things which you won’t want to' know about ■ Charles—at least, if cither of.,you ' are half as wise as I take you both to be. Harried people are very fond of saying that they have no secrets from "each other, but they never say it without causing a little shiver of ; ’ impatience in the unmarried. Frankly. my. dear Molly, the -unmarried - don't • believe it, and the picture which it coujurcs up is unot that of kindred souls revealing themselves to each other, but that of to pair of, gossips in a state- of agitation lest ‘; either should have a tit-bit which the..other doesn't share. Granted, by-all

moans, that there should bo nothing which a husband couldn't tell to his :- wife, or a wife to her husband; there, , ought still to ho a g.vetCt many things j; ■which- neither should -tell; and-real confidence consists' in : hot wanting to huoiv. - : .i ' Bagshot was always .somewhat concerned about Charles' Harman's private lortuhe, tor ho feared, lest :a certain indolence would lead him to live on it instead of using his considerable abilities to make more. This,- from a* letter written in 1905. is characteristic: Wealth, says 'Stevenson;"is only useful for: two things—a; yacht and. a , string quartette. I'or these two i, • would soil my soul. Except for these I hold that JZ7OO a year is as much, as anybody can possibly, want. .It lias taken me half an hour to hunt ■up - this passage, but I couldn t, rest till ! found it after reading m ypun letter this morning that “*£7oo a year is ample for two people.’.' . So. it is ■ niv dearest they rc- * main- two, and “except for .the yacht and the string quartette.” I havo .. known scores of iieople 1 say the; same . thing, but there is always an ‘ except/' and as the years go ? on tub number of tbe ‘'excepts'* will f qxnto : certainly increase. Now, 1 if I were the model uncle, . I should straightway improve/ this occasion by a suitable lecture. •on . housewifely thrift and m ■ milliner's bills. Instead- •"■of \ which-' .: ■knowing your prudence and Charles's , charming, unambitious ; nature—l solemnly express the hope that you will ■ suffer and make Charles suffer from a passionate craving . for -yachts and . string quartettes. : Xfe_is. a very' clever fellow, .is yoiir .CliaUesj but < - having this quite secure nest-egg he won't hestir himself and -make ihe place for himself that he ought to make, ■ unless you both : vaut-; things and want. ,tiiem badly. 1 They ; say. the Kaffir can only .be., kept at- the mines when he wants to add a second wife - to - his : establishment. Heaven forbid that -.your 4 Charles should develop in that direction, and, speaking with all duo caution. I doivt , apprehend it. But doiit make it too easy for him, or. let’’him; mako - it too easy for himself.So , once more I ! 'say, hitch your wagon to the yacht anti the string quartette. .. .Whatever you/10, don't show this letter to your friend Nina, Sho and her , Algernon want quite other ail- , vice. They will try the yacht and the string quartette on: the -£<oo a yeai— and that way lies tragedy. A year later Charles apparently was getting on, and ho and ,his wife beginning to-be popular in fashionable circles. So, at least, I judge from the following letter: . You and Charles must arrange these things for yourselves, but, if you really- want «my advice,' .you will find some excuse for nqt stay- - iug with Lady C. She is an admirable woman but she is entirely unable to realise that anyone can have less . than .£SOOO a year, and everyone you meet -at Courtlands will take it for . granted that this is your ■ minimum, wage, df you could dip in and come out again and take it all as you would an evening at the opera and havo done with it at that, I should Kay, go by- all moans and have the fun. But this is exactly what you can’t do. Lady C. will introduce you to-, Sirs F., who will pass you: on to the Duchess of D■. who will lattnch "the. charming young couple” in their frail cockle-shell <m *to the roaring- : tide of fashionable London. : After - three months of it, ray dearest Molly, you would - feci a donkey- and he a pauper. , , 1 , The golden rule in dealing with, the grandees is to he very- affable to them when they come into your life, hut on no account to let them

drag-you into their life. Charles is a barrister and hopes some day to go into Parliament. If the Lord Chancellor or the Foreign ■ Secretary , • were to take a fancy to him, and if the Lady Chancellor and the Foreign Secretary's lady, were to ire civil to you; so much the better dor both of you. That is in your life, and in this society you.will be at home. But Lady <J. and. her- friends have really nothing to do with you or you with them, and you will never, bo more than freaks to each other. Next year Mrs 'Harman writes .that Charles is prospering and making more money, but she, seems to have dropped a hint that the results on the household budget had disappointed her hopes. Bagshot replies; It is certainly one of the most dis- ... appointing things in life that getting / more money doesn't seem to make you richer. All my life I have struggled in vain with the mysterious influence which causes the demand for commodities to overtake the- supply of gold. Whenever I have had a rise in mv official salary, the news of • it, though a profound secret till the appearance of next year's ‘'Whitaker," lias instantly percolated by some secret channel to my coo],. Within a week it is known to mv butcher, my grocer, my tailor, and to every charitable institution in Greater London. Xu another week

it has been silently intimated to mo that all those deserving persons and causes expect a share in the incromeut to my. fortune. Within a month it has become. notorious at my club, and I am now confidently invited to play’ bridge for stakes which a month ago were entirely beybnd “poor BagshotV' means. By this time the very crossing-sweepers have learnt it, mid touch me tor twopence where formerly I was a doubtful penny. The warm feeling of benevolent wealth now begins .to steal through my veins, and I pity myself for the privations I suffered in the days of my poverty. This makes it impossible for iuo to pass a bookshop, to refrain from taking a cab, to resist- my cook, or to avoid going to.the opera. I am caught in a far-reaching gonial conspiracy to ■. share the fruits of my honourable toil, and gently lifted up to a plane of being in ‘which twenty-five shillings is scarcely worth a sovereign. So' it will be with yon and Charles, my dear Molly, and thanks be to the Lord that it is so, ’"tor otherwise what an . intolerable, ugly, scrimping, stingy existence it would be! H© is a ancan man who won't raise the wages of his cook, when lie grows rich, 1 because ho “can get another as good at the same imce.’'* ' I add yet another passage . about thfl giving and taking of favours: You show your* usual good sense in , .refusing to accept favours from the ' D/-S. They are very rich, and, 1 doubt not, very good-natured, but they are not friends of yours, and they will expect in return just what you ought not to give them. If I were a very rich mail I, should feci it to be a real hardship that I could scarcely ever help my poorer friends in the manner that would bo by far the most serviceable tej them—i.e., by gifts of money . when they ; really needed it. Nothing at first sight is; 1 so jiuzzling as this .rigid rule against the giving or Taking of ca^U. You might suppose it to be invented . by 'rich xjeople to save their pockets, yet I am quite »sure at is inventedby k poor people ; to save' their pride. , -The rich will give. If you let them;- . g V but it is the poor who will despise yon, if you take. Only so can'they Xmotect themselves against the power ; 1 of money, for where the rich giro . and the. poor take the r former .■■. will ■ buy and the latter be bought.. .Convention restricts this to money,-• but /. it really applies to all gifts, if‘the ; giver is not your friend. A. rich man must earn the right to help a iioor one, and,this he can only do by a friendship in good times and bad so intimate and constant that it wins, him the privilege, of giving without conferring obliga-.'. tlon. I say in good’times and bad, for a’ bad-weather friend inay b? : ; , even•' -worse than a fair-weather s f friend. To come suddenly to the res- ; , cue after • years of neglect is taking ;of 'a man when ho is down. It is only the constant friend who should bo welcome as Uic friend iu need; Never suppose that you can make up to a neglected .. friend by. going to visit him in hospital. Kepent on your own death- - : bed, if you like, but not on another ’s.; -

*ln one of the note-books I find an incident recorded -which has its bearing on this philosophy- of wealth: ‘‘J. F., just back from China, where he is m the Government service, tells mo that the week after his salary- was raised last ■ year, his Chinese housekeeper -unbliislungly presented him with a bill of 120 dot- ior. exactly the same items that had previously- cost: him itdols. Oii his remonstrating and asking tho reason, John Chinaman replied that his Excellency was Understood to have grown enormously, wealthier. 'J. IV explained that ho was not' three" times as rich hut only a s third richer, whereupon OpluuChinaman. apologised profusely for having niisunderstoou the situation, withdrew the bill, and presented a new-' ouo tor 53 l-3d015.” ‘viiio;:Whole-of the conflict between econo mica . and adds Bagshot,. “seems to me to bo condensed into this incident.”