“WHAT I WOULD TELL A MANIF I DARED."

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 6871, 15 July 1909, Page 4

“WHAT I WOULD TELL A MANIF I DARED."

A request from the editor of "Home Notes” to girl readers, to tell what they would sav to men of their acquaintance If they ciared to speak quite candidly, has brought forth a number of replies, which it would not be’amiss for some of our young men to read, mark, and inwardly digest. "If * I dared, X would tell the average man.that, though a girl likes to be told when she is looking specially nice, she docs not really like to be deluged with flattery,” is the answer of one girl. "She likes a,man to talk to her on every-day subjects, as he would talk to other men, and to be chummy and sensible with her. She doesn't like him to take it for granted that, because a woman's sphere is the homo, she cannot have a soul above darning socks, or that because she likes to look pretty that she cannot have an idea outside frocks and frills. She hates to be talked down to, to have things explained to her to a ridiculous degree, as if she were a child of ton. I would tell him to take a seriously, treat her as a reasoning being, make him understand that it hurts her to be regarded as a butterfly—if I dared.” HE SHOULD CULTIVATE APPRECIATION. *'l would tell him that he should cultivate appreciation,” is another*girTs reply. “The average man takes everything in the home as a matter of course. He is ready to grumble and make fuss enough if things go wrong; but he will accept a well-cooked dinner, over which his wife has taken an infinity of pains and care, as if it grew like gooseberries, or dropped ready prepared from the clouds. He doesn't understand the work and worry, the petty pinching, the constant contrivings that make up the day of the conscientious wife. I will try and make him understand how a few words of love and appreciation repay a woman for her labour of love, and bow crushing and deadening it is to have one's be*t efforts taken with cold, matter-of-fact indifference.” HE IS LACKING IN COURTESY.

"If I dared, I would try to make the average man understand how much he is lacking in courtesy/' another girl writes. "He neglects the thousand-and-one little attentions which mean so much to a woman. When he gives up his seat to her in a tram—and he doesn't always do that—he too often waits a minute or two first to see if anybody else will sacrifice himself; and then rises slowly, languidly, and with an aggrieved air. That is an act of courtesy very largely spoiled. He regards his home as a place where he has a perfect right to grumble and find fault, to bully and domineer, from morning till night, as he would not, could not, anywhere else on earth/' HE IS AFRAID TO SPEAK. "If I dared, I would tell a man not to wait till he is well off before telling a girl he loves her/' yet another replies. "A girl who .is worth her salt will gladly wait for the man she loves, or share poverty with him if need be. But ifi he does not speak, she naturally thinks lie does not care, and in desperation she may very possibly marry another man whom she does not care for, and both lives may very easily. b© wrecked." Other replies briery, expressed include

"I would tell him that cultivating the gentler side of Ms nature does not make him less of a man, but more." "I would tell him that other girls do not envy the fiancee of the man who, if he doesn't say, 'Yes, she fairly worships me. don't you know?' look® as ifj he thought It." / "I would tell him how much a girl mires a man with high ideals and firm, principles." "I would tell him that it is not only, women who are vain." 1