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NEWS AND NOTES.

Counsel (to cabby in witness-box). — “Do you understand the nature of an oath, sir?” Cubby (emphatically).— “Look ’ere, sir; I’ve driven a keb in this ’ere -town for over thirty .years I” —“Bed Letter. 35

Traveller (in a railway carriage, to a fellow-passenger).—“'Sir, what do you mean by that? This is the third time you have deliberately put out my match.” Fellow-traveller. —“Force of habit. I’m a member of a volunteer fire brigade.”

On the borders between China, anu Russia in Asia, almost due south of Lake Baikal, is a good-sized town known as Marinatchin, which is exclusively inhabited by men. Tho place baa a considerable trade, and is also a military post. An old law forbids women to live in this territory. British lady motor-drivers, says “Motor Illustrated,” must look to their laurels. Miss Rosamond Dixey, of Boston, U.S.A., invariably has her “sweet, pet, fat, white pig “sitting up beside Its neck is- tied up with pink ribbons, her in tho front seat of her motor-car. Its neck i stied up with pink ribbons, and to the unbiassed observer it presents a most disgusting spectacle. .Mr Marconi is engaged to marry Beatrice O’Brien, fifth daughter of the lato Lord luchiquin, M.P.' Tho wedding will take place during the second week in March from HU Lonnox-gar-dens, the town residence of Ellen Lady Inchiquin. Tho future bride belongs to a family which once held royal power in Ireland as kings of Munster and Thomond. The family record goes hack as far as Brian Boroihmo, who reigned as King of Munster in 1002. Tihe King was ono of tho purchasers at the sale at Bearlull-park, Walton-on-Thamcs (tho residence of tho late Duchess Elizabeth, of Wellington). He sent a representative with instructions to ■ buy a pendant pearl drop, enclosing a portrait of the Prince Consort. This was a gift to the Duchess of Wellington, and was inscribed;— “From his broken-hearted widow, Victoria R., 1861.” The relic was sold for £l9. The caricaturist “F.0.G.,” tells a story of a young “plunger,” who opened a big account and suddenly disappeared; When settling day arrived ho w r as still absent. He had made big profits. A. fortnight later ho strolled into tho Stock Exchange, and proceeded to claim his profits. “Where have you been?” “Fishing in Scotland.” “Suppose there had teen a big fall and you had lost. Where would you be now?” “Still fishing in Scotland?” he responded, with exasperating coolness. In Whistler’s student days ho was dining with friends in a Paris restaurant. The attention of tho young men was directed toward an English family, of whom the father was endeavouring, in execrable French, to plan a dinner. Leaning forward, Whistler, in his most charming manner, inquired if he could bo of aid. Tho stranger drew himself up with a manner of offence, and haughtily replied, “I assure you, sir, I can give my order without assistance.” “Can you, indeed?” quoth Whistler airily. “I fancied the contrary just now, when I heard you desire the waiter to bring you a pair of stairs.”

An inmate of a .Montgomeryshire workhouse was locked in the mortuary as punishment for misbehaviour. A corpse was lying in a coffin, but this did not disconcert Hie reprobate, who proceeded to avenge,. his treatment. Lifting the body out of Hid coffin, he propped it against the wall, facing towards tho door, and lay in the coffin himself. A few hours later a woman appeared with the prisoner’s meal. Tho sight overcame her, and not a word could she utter. The wag peeped over the edgo of the coffin, and, addressing the corpse, exclaimed, 1 “If you ate to have no grub I can eat it for you.” Tho woman fled.

Mr Rufus Isaacs, K.-C-, M.P., when a member of the junior bar, had occasion’ to visit Parliament-house, Westminister, and marched boldly through Palace-yard. He succeeded in getting past the policeman, who, however, detected him a second or two later, and overtaking him, confronted him with the question:—“Excuse me, sir, but are you a member?” “Not yet,” was the reply, “but I am going to be soon.” “P hope you will, sir,” said the policeman, •■but, meanwhile, would you mind going round the other way?” ‘Tjjat ‘meanwhile,’ ” commented Mr Isaacs, “lasted twelve years.” He was elected to Parliament a few months ago. The Bishop of Llandaff still possesses, despite his great age, the mischievous propensities of a schoolboy. His great delight ia the concoction of conundrums. The story goes that not long ago he concluded a clerical meeting by asking his flock, “If it takes your bishop a week to eat a ham, how long would it take him to eat a hammer?” and made a diplomatic departure to catch his train. When the company had given up the problem, they wired to Llandaff for the solution, and received the maddening reply, “I don’t know; I’ve never tried.”—“Westminster Gazette.”

A story of Count von Bulow’s French cook is (says the “Tatler”) causing much amusement in Berlin. Before the Imperial Chancellor was called to Berlin ho was Ambassador in Rome, where he occupied one of the most spacious palaces. When the Countess learned he was to move, and that the Chancellor’s residence in Berlin was a poor thing compared to their magnificent dwelling in the Eternal City, she had misgivings as to how her chef—a somewhat lordly personage—would receive the news. Determining to take the hull by the horns, she sent for him, acquainted him with the state of affairs, and was at once relieved of ' her worst anticipations by the great man’s, affable rejoinder, “Oh, please don’t for a moment permit your husbaftd to give up his post in Berlin on m account."

Major P. H. G. Powel 1-Cotton, author of “In Unknown Africa,” had a curious experience of the native belief in charms. “Among the week’s washing,” he says, “I had given my hoy a vest, which, when the other - tilings came back, was missing. Ho made some excuse about mending it, and I thought no more of the matter till, in tlie early morning, I happened to catch sight of two of my men bringing it back from the direction of a Swahili trader’s camp. Some time afterwards I learnt that the trader was regarded as a great worker of charms. The vest had been taken to him, and he had been asked to cast such a spell over it that, when it next touched my skin, any desire I might harbour of going far afield would melt away. When the charm was of no’ effect, the explanation given by my men was that, before leaving England, I had acquired witchcraft potent enough to render theirmagio powerless.”

In Iceland there are no prisons, and the inhabitants are so honest that such material defences to protect property as locks, bolts and bars are not required. Its history for tho past 1000 years, it is said, records no more than two thefts. It is said that in Alaska, where men are exposed to intense cold during the winter, moustaches aro never worn. Men wear full boards to protect the throat and face, but keep the upper lip shaved. Tho moisture from tho breath freezes so rapidly that the moustache becomes embedded in a solid cake of ice, and tho face is frozen in a short time. Riding is very much on the decline in England, and of tho riding men few ever get on to a horse except to hunt or play polo. Tho hack, which figured so largely in Rotten Row only a few years back, tho 3s 6d an hour hireling of the seaside watering place, and Dio general utility cob, wliich was as often ridden as driven, have greatly diminished in numbers. There are not ifi'oro than one-tenth the .riders in Rotten Row on a summer morning that there used to bo a couple of decades ago.

When tho King of Italy was shooting in tho valley of Cogno. a peasant woman, taking him for ono of his own servants, offered to sell him some eggs. Tho King took tho eggs and gave her a frano in payment. She held up the coin and said, “I will return it to you if you will show mo the King.” “I am tho King,” said Victor. The woman stared at him and shook her head. “You can’t be the King,” she said, ‘.‘you are far too ugly. I have seen tho Queen; she is pretty; she would never have married a man like you!” His Majesty considered the point gravely; then lie answered, “I can’t help that,” and, taking a gold niece from his pocket, ho gave it to her. “Look at the portrait hero,” ho said; “you will see that I am indeed the King.” A British - "-cruiser touched at one of the French islands ip the West Indies, and tho captain wont ashore to return the visit of the British Consul. o‘n his arrival, lie beheld one of the senior petty officers of his ship, to whom he had granted eight hours’ leave, in a luxurious chair on the verandah, puffing at a big Havana. The captain asked him what he was doing there. The petty officer blandly retorted that ho was there on a visit to Bill. “And who the deuce is Bill?” snapped the skipper. “Why, the consul her©—him' as I allow you’ve come to pay your respects to.” “How dare you speak with such familiarity of ono of His Majesty’s consuls?” thundered the captain. “Oh, Bill’s all right,” explained tho petty officer, “He’s my son.” And, as tho captain fell back breathless with indignation and incredulity, the consul himself came in, and explained, “Ah, captain, I’m glad my old man was here to receive you!” Talking about his first experiments with the electric light, Mr Edison said, “Tho first electric lights 1 saw were two arc lamps that were part of a circus side-show. Few persons thought then the light would ' ever bo any us© commercially.' It was too bright and too big. Hie problem that suggested itself to me was a suitable subdivision of the light and distribution of it to people’s homes, the same as gas. After endless experiments, I decided to try a simple carbon thread. I sent out for some cotton thread, carbonised it, and made the first experiment. That was October 21, 1879. After the lamp was lighted and burned into a steady glow I watched it with a fascination I cannot describe. For more than forty hours I scarcely moved from my chair, watching that lamp with everincreasing fascination, and elation. After it had burned continuously for forty-five hours I went to bed, convinced that the problem was solved.” Why was Hilary,, the fourth-century Bishop of Poictiers, whose feast falls a day earlier in English calendars than in Roman, Chosen by our ancestors as for a term, hot only'in the law courts, but at the universities (asks the “Westminster His sole connection with Great Britain is that he addressed his work, “On Synods,” to the British bishops, though he is also said to have ordained the British saint Kyhius, who gave his name to Caergybi, as the Welsh style Holyhead. St. Hilary’s Day (January 13) is supposed to be the coldest in the year in England, probably because it falls near the middle of the coldest month. Possibly, the popular belief may be a dim reminiscence of the great frost of 1205, wliich lasted from this day till March 22, “so that the land could not te tilled, and com cost a mark which aforetime waa sold for twelve pence.” The editor of the “Siberian. Gazette,” at Tomsk, received hack his set of proof-sheets from the censor with fully half the proposed contents of the morrow’s paper ruled out (says the “strand”). He and his staff were confronted with a most formidable, tasksome articles had to be patched up in order to repair the ravages of the censor’s pen, others had to be altogether rewritten, and fresh copy found to take the place of whole columns of news which bad teen ruthlessly destroyed. In despair the sent Die paper to press in the pitiable condition to which it had teen reduced by official interference. As be doubtless expected, the numerous blank spaces made a greater impression upon the public than the most trenchant article attacking . the press censorship could have done. In a few days there was published an edict from the Minister of Hie Interior:—“Blank spaces in' the pages of newspapers are an implied protest against preliminary censorship, and cannot be permitted.” From 1849 to 1869, Sainte-Beuve contributed a column of literary chat to the Faria “Constitutionnel.” It appeared on Monday. “From Tuesday morning till Friday evening (says “Macmillan’s Magazine” for February) he remained shut up in his study, going for a walk with his secretary after dark, when he talked interminably of his next Oauserie. The listener was not expected to offer suggestions, still less objections; fot the time being Sainte-Beuve was absorbed heart and soul in his chosen subject, and could so© no flaw in it. If his companion failed to perceive its charm, and ventured to hint a doubt, the critic was furious. ‘You don’t want me to write my article ? The subject unfortunately displeases you? Deplorable, truly deplorable 1’ and then he would turn on ,his heel and go home. When, however, the rough. draft was finished, comment was freely invited. “Read it,’ he would say. Tike an enemy.’ Sometimes his secretary, panio-striken at the sight of the big volume. ho had to dispose of. asked. “How will you manage it?’ “When you have thrown yourself into the water,’ he would answer cheerfully, ‘you are forced to swim.’ On Sundays ho saw his friends and went to the theatre, and next day tho shadow of the coming Monday began to fall upon hatt.” ' -

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Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/NZTIM19050408.2.96

Bibliographic details

New Zealand Times, Volume LXXVII, Issue 5558, 8 April 1905, Page 15

Word Count
2,323

NEWS AND NOTES. New Zealand Times, Volume LXXVII, Issue 5558, 8 April 1905, Page 15

NEWS AND NOTES. New Zealand Times, Volume LXXVII, Issue 5558, 8 April 1905, Page 15