THE COYOTE COUNTY HANDICAP.

New Zealand Times, Volume LXXVI, Issue 5199, 13 February 1904, Page 12

THE COYOTE COUNTY HANDICAP.

(By Harry Irving Greono.) “Met a dood nub in Arizony oncb, and that critter I’ll remember after I’vo been dead two thousand year,” continfl-(-t Hank, as ho drew tho tent twttosr ta snot out llio rain. “First thing 1 noticed I seen him look’ at m<-. wistful, so I asks him what Ins game was.

‘“Huntin’ for a inastodin,’ ho ways, ErinK’ up a cigarette and spoutin’ tho smoko from out his nostrils, “lliey was a kind of olorfant what used to loaf around these diggin’s a considerable time ago, you know.’ “ ‘Ycu’ro on the wrong trail, pardnor,’ says I. sliakin’ my head. ‘lvo been in this country near forty year and there ain’t no kind of game in it from grizzly boars to stud poker that 1 ain’t been up against. But I ain’t soon no olorfant tracks yet.’

“ ‘Hobby they was boro before your time,’ ho answers, kind of laffin. “ ‘How- long before:'’ I asks, innersont as a hottil of pap.

“ -’Bout fifty thousand year,’ ho comes back, careless like. “ ‘Oh, that's it,’ says I, thinkin’ ho was tryin’ to make a. fool out of me, and

turnin’ away. ‘I was only a kid, livin’ down in Indiany in them days.’ But come to End out ho was one of them idjits what’s allers rootin around after tho remainders of fossylcs. and by ami by wo made a dicker. "Well, we outfitted with inoro kinds of grub than you’d find at a school picnic, and we hiked off. Along about evenin’ we struck a good campin’ spot and while tho dood pooled olf his garmlnts and hopped into tho water up to ids oars, like a muskrat, I went about my work, cussin’ him sotter Vico. And I was right in tho middle of beadin’ over and nnstrappin’ tho pack when all of a sudden I heard an orful beilor, and peekin’ around right curious, I soon a long-horn steer a-comin’ down tiro gulch, hoopin’ sideways, makin’ passes at tho air, and snortin’ and blowin’ liko a hipporpotamus with tho hay foyer. I knowed at fust gaze that ho was locoed—plumb crazy—so I begun to move away right industrious. My weppin was strapped on tho hurrycaino deck of my cnyiusc, and tho cayuso was already growin’ dim in tho distance so I leu out a nairrasin’ whoop of warnin' and skedaddled off most tromonjus. hoaflin’ for a boulder about tho sizo of a ’dobio hut that lay a couple of hundred yards away. “I arrovo in about four jumps and went up it like a fly surmountin’ a bald dome of thought. Then I looked around for tho parade and it was tho most gorjus spoctiklo over took plaoo since.the ’ruption of Vesoovius. In tho van was the dood, sportin’ about as many clothes as an ilo paintin' of Virtoo, and about two jumps behind him tho steer, head down, tail a-rizin and with tho flood’s galluses streamin’ from his horns like the tail of a comit. I reckon it was tho most interestin’ leg movin’ contest ever pulled off,, hut eventually the flood' reached tho rock first and then they commenced to play ring around tho rosey with wild ehthoosoism. Hound and round they went, and every time that feller sailed past where I was hanging’ my legs over tho edge and cheerin’ ho inoi'lo some pussonel remark, ~and ho was coinin’ by so often it sounded liko a continyus conversation. But after about ten miniates tho steer flow off on a tangint and the deed cllrabod up beSide me, gaspin’ liko a fish. “ ’Twas outer sight, pardner, hut you boat him fair and square. When we get hack to town tho boys will back you against any steer in Coyote county,’ said I, figgerin’ to cheer him up. But scorn’ he’d tost his temper ’bout somethin' and didn’t make no answer I slid down and took tho back trail, figgerin’ on gatherin’ up some articles of weariu’ apparel. But now comes the most sorrerful part of tho whole sorrerful tale, for tho' critter had butted tho'whole trooso into tho fire, sarin’ and exceptin’ what ho had boro away on his horns for a soovonir. Wasn’t a dang thing loft bjrt tho shoes and a collier. “Well, bimo hyo I gets my sorrer under control and ketches my bronc. There wasn’t a houso nearer’n half a day exceptin’ the widder Willoughby’s ranch, so I told tho dood I’d saunter over to the ranch and bony a few simple hut needful garments. So olf I went, and in about half an hour arrovo and was showed into tho houso immediate. Her daughter was in the sottin’ room sortin’ out some wimmin’s things for tho washout, but when sho seen mo she " grabbed np part of the articles and rolled thorn up in a paper quick like and histed tho residoo into a closet with her foot. ‘Sob right down, Mr Hawkins,’

says she, smilin’ as sweet as a jug of rock-and-rye. "We are mighty glad to observe you.’ “Well, I balanced myself cautious on the edge of a chair and looked at her. She was about eighteen and sweeter than a bookay of mornin’ glories. ‘You’re quite a curiosity,’ she goes on, layin’ her hjindill on the sofy. ‘Somethin’ id esprit must have happened to bring you to our uninvitin’ house.’ • “ ‘There did,’ said I. And then I up and told them the whole heart-burstin cpysode. First they kind of snickered a bit, hut before I got through Miss Sallio was lookin’ as sober as a prohibitionist canjdydato the day after election. “ ‘And you left him perchade on that rock like a turtxl. and without—without—’ she says kind of stamraerin and lookin’ at the floor-. “ ‘As nood as; a fresh laid egg,’ says I delicate. “What a shame!’ says JVliss Sa.llie throwin’ up her hands like Iliad got the drop on her. "Mother, ylou go and

ronst out some men’s clothes immediate while I stay hero and entertain Mr Hawkins.’ So she set there smilin’ and sayin’ things until my face was as red as a diamond flush and the perspiration was rankin’ my back feel like a railroad map, until the old lady comes back with a bundi] and drops it on tho sofy. I grabbed tho package, stuttered somethin’ about bein’ thankful, and lp.rruped the hide half off my cayuse a-puttin’

tho horizon between me and them. ‘■The dood was still humped up where I had left him. So I picked up his shoes and coller and tossed them nip to him along with the hujidil and went about my business, until all at once I heard him eussin’ most miraculous. At that I took a suuint at him. and there hf was tryin’ to olimh in feet first through the hole in the top of a yollor skirt, meanwhile commentin’ vociferous. Course I see immediate how it had all come about. I had boon to tangled up by them smiles that I had grabbed the wrong hundil and, like a domed idjit, hadn’t discovered tho difference. The more X apolergised the more that pecoolor critter riled up, until at last he began makin’ funny little grabs at ■where his hip pocket oughter been. Finally ho hopped down to tho ground. “ 'And now, you ding-dong old tailtwister, I’m goin’ to put you amongst the discards,’ said he brist lin’ up to mo__

jest liko a porkypino goin’ to mortil combat. “•Because why?’ I asked, astonished at his comluck. “ ‘Because of thorn remarks you loosened when you set on that rock uchocrirr’ ho yelled. ‘1 would have dtmo it previous, only I’vo had too much on my mind.’ “ ‘That’s more than you could say about your carl-ass,' f replies saiavatm’ on my hands. And with that no puts up his paws and begins priucin’ around me like a hostylo tarantula. “It was certainly an inspirin’ exhibition. Ho bad ca his shoes, yejler skirt, a woman’s waist, ’hind side before and nip side down, and a colter. And lie was a frownin’ orful and stradliu’ around liko a. grandwidy-ionglegs on an antheap. Ho wasn’t qmto as hussy as mo, but ho was a most anton.'sinng spry inseck’ anti things was gettin powerful interestin’, when all at once tho dood quit cold and went galicpiu off behind a rock, and peek u’ over my shoulder I seen Miss Sadie coinin’ down tho trail about a huiylroy away. “ "Tis .scaiidalus,’ said she, ri'im.’ dP closer and .scowlin’.

“ ‘lt bo,’ says I, blushingly. T apolorgi.so for his mortifym’ appearance.’ “Giber seen her black eyes sparkle at that. "Tis you 1 was alludin’ to,’ Sho snaps hack. ‘Ton orter bo ashamed of yourself a-hoppin’ on that pore yooth and you twict his age. 'Tis bruti). You take tho poro thing these duds immediate, Hank Hawkins,’ So she tossid mo a hiiiuli-!, ami I packed them around to tho dood, an,'i pretty soon ho comes oat of ids lair togged up like a cowpuncher, and goes up to her. Then f seen her cheeks fire up, and somehow I instillctcd it wouldn’t hurt my popilarity none to pull my freight which I did, while they pow-wowecl for nigh unto an hour.

“Well, tho next day tho elood and mo shook hands an,l hit tho trail, but, not tho fragmint of a mastndin did wo find except a section of hind leg tho sizo of a tcllygraf pole. Then ho went cast, but a year later I collided with him in Tombstone. “‘After mor© masteflins?’ I asked. ‘VNopo,’ said ho, grinnin’ silly. Tin down hero to marry Miss Sallio.’ “ ‘The Hellespont you he,’ I answered, omittin’ the superfluous part of the word.

“ Wes,’ ho says, chucklin’. ‘Wo been writin’ letters oven sinco I went away.’ “ TarcTuer,’ said I, feelingly. T knowed when I soon you prancin’ around in that outfit that if any woman noticed you she’s bo a goner.’ ” Hank listened to t no sounds without. “Dorn tho rain, anyhow,” said lie, rolling tip in bis blanket, —“Leslie’s Monthly”