THE SKETCHER.

New Zealand Times, Volume LXVII, Issue 3442, 25 May 1898, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE SKETCHER.

MRS RICHARD FERRY AT THE TELEPHONE[Br Elsiz Todd.] fWritten for the New Zealand Mail.) Time, 9.30 a.m. Mrs Ferry rings up the Exchange. " 1215. . . . Is that you, Richard ? . . . There’s an invitation just come from the Fyfes. Dinner on the 19th. . ; . What Fyfes? The Plymouth Crescent Ffyea, of course. Tho Fyfes in Cunningham Street never have a cook fit to boil a potato. ~ . . You don’t want

to go ? What rubbish ! You’re always saying that. , But is that the night you have to goto the Hutt? . . . It isn’t? Wei), there’s nothing to prevent our going, and, of course, we must accept. (Listens.) I can’t help it if Fyfe’s brother is there. . . . Yes, I know he’s a fool, but you needn’t talk to him. . . . There’s noth-

ing on earth wrong with your coat. . . . No, you’re not to tell Foster to send up for it; it doesn’t need altering. And, look here, don’t forget to go in and see if they’ve finished mending that table. (Listens.) That's what you always say. I haven't time to listen." (Kings oft.) She goes to the kitchen, consults with the cook, and comes back. ”1344. ... Is that Barnett’s? Send me up a small leg of mutton, please. Mind it’s a small oue, and the last was too tough to eat. . . . Who’s speaking'? Mrs Ferry. Hive you any sweetbreads ? No. You never have any when I want them. (Listens.) No, I don’t want any kidneys; only the mutton, and see that it’s up in time.” (Bings.cff.) “ 1199. ... Is that Mrs Taylor’s ? Who’s speaking? . . . Why, X didn’t

know your voice at all. . . . Got a cold the last time you rode out to Island Bay. ... I should just think you

have. I can hardly hear you What are you taking? . . . H’m, they say it’s good. I’ve never tried it myself, but I haven't had a cold for a tvelvemonth. You weren’t at Mrs Fleming’s yesterday? . . . Yes, ever so many; the room was full. . . . No, I didn’t think much of the cake. Is her cook supposed to be anything extra ? . . . Yes, good enough, you know, but just what you'd get anywhere. . . . What had the on 1 Ob, that old silk she’s been wearing since the Flood. . . . Yes, the same shabby lace and those great sleeves that have gone quite out. . , . Getting a new dress ? Whatever are you doing that for? You’ve 'got a dozen. ’ . . . Not so many as I have ? Why, X haven’t a rag. . . . All right. Good-bye.” (Rings off). Two minutes later. “1199. . . . Is that you, Mrs Taylor? ... I forgot to ask yon it you would give me a pattern for a pinafore. Minnie wants new ones. ... Oh, thanks awfully. . . . No, don’t trouble. I’ll call in tor it. You need some one to come round and cheer you up when you’ve got that frightful cold.” (Rings off.) Time, 10.15 a.m. “ 1215. ... Is that you, Richard ? . . . Where’s that shirt you were wearing on Friday?. I can’t find it, and the laundry man will bo here soon. . . .

In the drawer amongst your winter things ? What on earth is it -doing there ? Why didn’t you put it in the basket? I’ve enough to do without bunting round for your shirts. 1 And you’ve far too many. You must use less if you will have them put out. . . . Yes, I know you were out twice last week. But every week I have to pay a larger bill. Don’t forgot about that table.” (Rings off.) 10.35 a.m.

“ Where’s the list ? I wish people wouldn’t take it away. Oh, here it is. Qeddes, Gillies, Goldsmith, Grove, J. D., 1612." (Rings up.) “1624. ... Is that Mr Grove’s ? ■. . . Oh, wrongly connected. (Rings off.) What’s the number ? 1642, and I said 1624. (Bings up again.) Is that Mr Grove’s? . . . Can X speak to him? . .. . When will be be in? . .- . Not till then? . . . My name ? ... Mrs Perry. . . . Mrs Richard Ferry, 62, Winchester road. , . . Yes.' (Rings off.) Bother the man, he’s always out.” 1215." (ThejExohange puts her on the number, and she waits. No one comes. She tries ringing the bell, still there is no answer. She rings up .the exchange a second time.) “ 1215." (Again she waits, again silence. She rings up once more.) “ Can’t yon put me on 1215? . . . You did connect ? . . . Then they must be out.” 11 a.m. The bell rings, she goes to the telephone. - 1 •

"Yes, Mrs Terry is speaking. ... I best your pardon. . . . Mrs ? I can't hear. .... I haven’t caught the name yet ? . . . Oh, Mrs Musgrave. . . . No, I don’t think you left it here. I’ll go round and look. (Comes back again.) No, it isn’t here. Ido hope you’ll find it. I remember noticing the handle; it was very handsome-. Good-bye. (Goes off.) Bother thn woman and her umbrellas, and she can’t even speak out.” 11.20 a.m. Her new bonnet has come home, and she is euro she told the milliner to trim it differently. ‘‘1763. . . . Yes, I want 1763, Watson and Pollock. . . . Engaged,? (She pnts back the receiver with a jerk.) 'J hey’re always engaged, and I daresay the milliner will have gone to dinner, or something, when X do get them.”

A few minutes later the bell rings. . “ Yes, who's there ? . . . I beg your pardon. ... No.it’snot Mary. . . . No, you can’t speak to her, she’s hanging out the clothes. You must wait till her afternoon out, and not ring her up here.” 11.43 a.m. "1215. ... Is that you, Kiohard?

Where were you when I rang you up an hour ago ? . . . Sad, to see a man ? I daresay you were just loafing about town. . . . Well, you must — Hallo ! they’ve out us off. (Kings up.) 1215. Why do yon cut people off in the middle of a conversation ? ... Is that you, Kiohard ? It's too bad the way they cut us off. What was I saying? . . . Oh, yes. You

must go into Grove’s on yonr way up and toll him to send a man to see about the roof; it needs m-nding. . . . Thought it was all right ? No, it’s not all right. The water will come into tho nursery next time it rains and the children will catch their deaths. . . . Can’t 1 ring him up?

No, I have rung him up, and he’s out. He always is out if we need anything done. . . . Doit ourselves? . • Ho, I should think not. It’s the landlord’s business to repair the roof. You are a soft. Be sure and go in about that table." (Kings off.)

Twenty minutes later she decides to try for Watson and Pollock again. She rings up and waits. No one comes. She rings again, hut there is no response. After tha fourth attempt she keeps on ringing viciously .without waiting. At last the exchange answers.

“Yes, 1703. Why don’t you come when X ring? I’ve been ringing for a quarter of an hour. You ought to bo reported for neglecting your duties in this way. ( The Exchange murmurs something soothing and asks the number.) 1703. . . . En-

gaged. Oh, bother!” (She flounces off to gaze once more at the unfortunate bonnet.) Tho boll rings, and sho comes downstairs hastily. “Am X never to have a moment’s peace? And, of course, it’s worst on washing day, when there’s nobody else to answer. , . . Yes, who’s speaking ? . . . No, this is not Mrs Henry Ferry’s. Ring off.” (Her voice is so alarming that the raw youth at the other end, who has used the telephone for the first time, collapses at the consequences of his blunder, and wishes he were back in a country store.) She goes into the kitchen and discovers the cook is making Irish stew, Mr Ferry’s pet aversion, and that there is nothing else in the house for lunch. She goes to tell him if he can’t eat Irish stew he must bring some German sausage up with him.

“1315.” But Richard is already on his way home. He calls on Mr Grove, and that gentleman’s remarks about mending the roof put the table quite out of bis head. He roaches home at last, and lunches on bread and cheese seasoned with Mrs Ferry’s animadversions, “And I've been tolling you all morning about that table.”