Page 2 Advertisements Column 2

New Zealand Times, Volume LXVI, Issue 3321, 31 December 1897, Page 2 (Supplement)

“ My friends,” said the eloquent minister, " were the average man to turn and look at himself squarely in the eyes, and ask himself what ho really needed most, what would ho the ■ first reply, suggested to : his mindP" “A rubber neck," shouted .the precocious urchin in the rear of the room j and, in the confusion which followed, the good man lost his place in hi? manuscript and began over again. .-■■■■ ' When Archbishop Longley was head master of Harrow hn on.ce met two of his boys out late one night, and gave them chase; The boys ma4 o Off. bntone of thenleft a coat-tail in the headmaster's hands. Dr Longley made sure of discovering the offender on the folic wing day by his missing coat-tail, hut when the next, day- came every boy appeared at school with only one i coat-tail. ■■■■:■• ■ ■■'■■■■ ■■■.; <;>■ > She {who has not felt well since they embarked) : “ What do you suppose makes the ship roll so? It’ll be the death of mo |" .E(e (furious) ; “It’s that imbecile of a; fat officer' up - there !• Ho does nothing but walk from one side of the ship to the other. It's enough to capsize the vessel.’'