ROUND THE CORNERS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XLVIII, Issue 7996, 29 January 1887, Page 4

ROUND THE CORNERS.

(From tin New Zealand Mail, Jan, 2!. i •I want to know why, if a man was neve r bothered by creditors, and never tried to avoid a creditor in his life, he found occasion to become a bankrupt? Such a case has occurredno creditors to speak of—for of course creditors are not worth mentioning if they don’t bother—and yet bankruptcy, had to ensue. One of those latter-day Irrationalities that no “fella” can account for. Wish my creditors wouldn’t bother me; but regularly at the beginning of every month why there they are “ wid their botherin.” And so I expect it is all round, and they in their turn get bothered some times pretty frequently, perhaps, by acts of insolvency.

There is a great cry out about federation and Imperial Queen’s Jubilee Institutes, and “sich like,” and tall talk about perfecting Imperial federation at all risks, and all the while federation is going on nicely. That is to say, it has been going on nicely for several years past in all those colonies that havn't slammef the door in the'face of the Old Country by the imposition of excessive import duties. Whenever the Old Woman has had a decent chance, and been aided by liberal local enterprise, she has established an excellent footing, and practically bound that particular country to her in the most lasting of all federations—strong mutual commercial interests. And not the commercial interests of a specially privi' leged class of agents—middle-men—but th interests of a whole people. And this is being brought about by'that; übiquitous individual ‘ the bagman.’ And James Macandrew has had a finger In the pie too. The Direct Steam Service business was his scheme.. By the .way, I’ve never heard that questioned. Julius’ public works and immigration business has been fought and wrangled over enough, but " Jimmy’s ” never. AU the honor of it is laid at his door. Wonder if he borrowed the idea of any one else ? But there, avaunt fpul fiend 1 get thee behind me such doubts of Jimmy; Macls immaculateness. Tie his and only bis; and as it was through him that the bridge was erected oyer which bagmen so comfortably travel now-a-days, ha is not so very indirectly associated with them, and may, therefore, share in .the, credit that is theirs, for having brought federation to its present forward condition. For no sooner was New Zealand rendered easily accessible, than the astute mercantile and industrial firms in England dispatched their persecuting fiends to secure business. And wo have ’em now, and no mistake. Men of every industrial denomination ready to do business on any terms almost. They swarm through tho land, are known of 'every up-country storekeeper, and it really seems as if we were, by some occult process, brought within speaking and seeing distance of London Bridge and St. Paul s. Small upcountry firms, that formerly were removed many thousand miles away from those centres, are now, so to speak, brought face to face with them'by their agents; The middle-men ate out of it, and now a considerable minority of the people of New Zealand are dealing direct at the shops. pf “ Lunnpu ” town. What’s that but federation, Prince of Wales, and right good federation too ? For not only mere trade relations ate established,' but quite friendly ones.’ Fellows who are in the stream of federation I am writing about, and who have established permanent relations with English, but specially with London firms, know how pleasant it is to do business with them, bow courteous, accommodating, and liberal the treatment hIV lEiKlfch business men. It is quite possible for persons who have never seen each other'to. become quite friendly by the practice of mere correspondence. A good corresponding clerk exercises a potent political influence that he little recks of, when he is engaged in turning his politely flowing commercial sentences. And so the bonds of federation are strengthened and tightened every year, until by-and-bye there will be no sundering them, ‘ . i :

That is to, say, if common commercial honesty is maintained, and resolute efforts are made to ■ discharge, obligations. English firms won’t stand fleecing. But if they develop loyal customers at the end of this world or any other—for. I am not at all sure commercial relations will not some day be established with the other members of our solar Sj stem—right loyally will they stick to them, and avoid shoddy consignments. The Old Country is still regarded with loving interest by all those who left itr-sha}! I say for their country’s good ?—at any rate for their own—and their children, who never-:saw the “tight little island,’,,regard it mentally with more veneration than they bestow on anything else. I suppose the colonies will grow to nations some of these centuries j but, even as children grow to men and women,-and are still found under the paternal roof a happy family,-even so may the colonies become thoroughly self-sustaining, arid, yet be close knit to the land they sprang from by a subtle umbilical bond. I Better that fen thousand times than to .degenerate into rotten .republicanism, . The glorious muchyannted United States know all about that. Their day of purification is in store.

I say, Julius, hang it; non* of yer bets now. Should think you’d have had enough of that sort of thing, and yet hero you are'issuing challenges to all and sundry for ten pounds sterling or more, .What d’ye mean, sir? Is it that you want to give folks to understand you have a '‘tenner” left to sport with on occasions/ or is it the pommenqenjent of a well-thought-out system of financing, whereby yon will rake in '■ tenners ” whenever yog want ’em, and that, you know,; is pretty frequent, Havn’t beard of any one having taken up the challenge, though I don’t think you ; have treated me quite fairly in the matter. You might have made me referee and holder of the stakes.- How nice it would have read if yon had announced thusly ‘‘Hava deposited £lO with Asjpodcus, of the NEW ZeaCanp Maip, Anyone; wishing ito cover it pan com* municate with him,” How thftt would have been something lihe, dear hoy, and wo wonld have -been 1 sworn 'brothers ever after, Vogel-cum-Asmodeus, what a combination I No upsetting"that anyhow. Another time perhaps, eh?

The very essence of Peter the Great’s policy of the future jyas disturbing causes; the sow-; iug of dissensions aqjong other European; powers; Let 1 the latter beware- gf; tljat yitali principle of 1 disruption that Russia is nourishing in secret. Let Gprraany 1 and' prance .especially beiyarp of the cat’s-paw business,' Pfty thgy pan’t f»W® to-* resolution to bury: the hatphet once and, for ever, and contest with! each other only in‘the peaceful arena of commerce and industrial pursuits, - Tbs Teuton! and -the Gaul have amalgamated in England,! Scotland, and Wales t is it impossible for themj to live amicably, cheek by jowl, on the Continent? Another war between the two, would bo awful,, and I much fear that gallant,’ impulsive, unstable France would be next, to wipedont; while the Slav giant stood by grin-; ning, and Britain weeping and powerless to. save. The great safety of France lies in the. .'good relations she.can, maintain, with Great .Britain, and I fancy this has some time, dawned upon her-statesmen. It will be well -for France if thoytake it as a light unto their, feet,, v 11 1 . > ' ,

.. Joe Chamberlain,' the strong, man of i the/ English 'Union Liberal party, has; visited; Turkey <to some purpose. Joseph took a pin; yonnijl that yay loget out leeway of polities,, and to SBCj what fhe Turks were, like,'. He* describes them as nijt ’‘hall a bad sort,” and so ingratiated himself, with t|ja Sultan that, on his return to his Birmingham home, . the. latter sent; him a tobacco box studded with diamonds. Evidently the Sultan and-Joseph -smoked the pipe of peace together,! and possibly, as the ex J.P. puts it, had a. little f/wif we.” imbibition, nathless the prophots stern" prohibitiop, |Jut Turkey is the .land of all others where things Sourish pn the M’ No doubt the cUfljatsOf \J7sllingtop }s semi-: tropical sometimes, and people, (hen, ppt 0U semi-tropical habits, quite a number of .which could be enamerated. I will, however ' content myself with the mention of two. A ‘disgust of animal-food and,a craving for fruit and vegetables, and a strong—nay, almost irredesire to throw one’s self headlong at any pjoment lut.o ‘the cool, refreshing salt-, water of the harboy. ‘fiat tlijn considerations restrain one. Tint of »U wopld V agreeable . to go ■■■- in fullrdreased, and » social decency would bo outraged . if one stripped to it, ' Secondly, certain semi-tropical conditions have to be yery aarioDßly considered before the rash bather: tjajkea 73? e f e ’ &r ® : sharks; ad Üb. in Wellington.harb.qr goring Jkhp ■ hottest (the bathing) , months of the.year, and 1 quite whoppers at that, “Port Boyal Tom p ' was a baby* 5n size, compared to some of the shark cruisers of the New Zealand coast. He was as good as a guard boat during war time in preventing the crews of from deserting. No one would risk the swim to the town of Port Boyal (Jamaica) from the harbor '

because of “Tom.” And, besides, sharks in this harbor of ours there are baracouta—unusually plentiful this year—a fish that will attack a naked bather, and mangles horribly when it bites. And so the harbor, glorious bathing ground as it is, is practically “ tapu ’ to the public. Of course, it will be affirmed by some indignant reader of this, that there are two bathing places. Are there? Come now, 1 don’t think the sewage-tainted water of the Te Aro end of the harbor much to immerae oneself in, and as for the Thorndon baths! Well it would not cost an enterprising, roving, hungary shark a very great effort to break into them at high water, or an hour or two before and after, while baracouta can get in almost any time. For the baths are shamefully dilapidated, aud it is almost like tempting providence to bathe in them. And that such a state of bathing affairs should prevail in a marine retreat like Wellington is downright scandalous, for the bathing accommodation is next ta nil, and what there is of it is only really available when the tide is well in. Thus, mornings and evenings (bathing times) can’t be utilised a great part of every month.' Before people go a bathing now they have to consult the Wellington Almanack to find the time of high water Ml Not bad eh, for Wellington Harbor, with its fathoms upon fathoms of depth. And then, again, what can be said ot the neglect of the fair sex by bathpiovidera. What ? They can batheevery morning yoasay. Bosh—baths for females ought to be “ tapu ” to males. The ladies, God bless ’em, have a right to demand a separate bathing establishment, wherein they can seek comfort and health at any time ’of the day they choose to go to them. I know of instances at the present moment in which sea bathing would prove of the utmost benefit in a sanitary sense, and yet it may not be attempted because of the dreadful inconvenience involved, and the young girls have been sent away out of Wellington for a change instead. So much money lost to the place! I am convinced baths would be thoroughly profitable if they are properly constructed and conducted. Constructed so as to be 'fit for use at any time of tide, and conducted bo as to be accessible at any hour of the night or day. Is there no one to taka the initiative in this matter? The Harbor Board might do much woise than take it up—in fact, it is the Board’s duty to do so. And let the citizens bear this in mind. Really good baths for both sexes would constitute potent attractions to country people forcourses of sea bathing, than which, in very many bodily ailments, nothing is such a sure restorative. Asmodeus.