ROUND THE CORNERS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIX, Issue 6692, 28 September 1882, Page 4

ROUND THE CORNERS.

(From the New Zealand Mail.)

I WhS dreadfully disappointed that his Excellency the Administrator did not see fit to prorogue Parliament in person, instead of by commission. As head of the Government, he is fulfilling the duties of the position in tip-top style ; by tip-top, I mean that style which best suits public taste. The people of New Zealand have been taught to do without viceregal authority, aud to be perfectly satisfied with somebody who will fill the position of bead of affairs—and there must be a head—at the least expense, and without ridiculous ostentation. The public taste has, in fact, been simplified. The people feel much as the Israelites did under the rule of their prophets, and want no Saul to take their young men and maidens and gold aud silver ornaments. It strikes me that the Gladstone Ministry are, in their liberality, experimenting with New Zealand, just to see if the people can really do without a royal vicar. And I can assure Mr Gladstone that they can, and that too, without in the slightest degree affecting their loyalty to the Mother Country. There is no occasion to apprehend the severance of the connection between the colonies and the parent stem, because they have not an Imperial Governor over them. That connection is one of intense sympathy of race. People to whom are common the words “ mother, father, bread, God, brother, sister,” the people of the great AngloSaxon and Teuton races can never be sundered. There was a glorious illustration of this off Alexandria the other day, when the Ameiican Admiral in his one frigate stuck by the English fleet throughout the bomdardment, and then, when all was over, steamed round and round the ' fighting fellows, and cheered them to the echo. And that is just how colonists feel ; they love the Old Country and the old flag, and will never desert either, but, at the same time, decline to pledge themselves to revere and bolster up expensive systems of government. I’ll defy anyone to show how New Zealand has benefited specially by the presence of an Imperial Governor, but I think it could be shown that the colony, and Wellington in particular, would have been very much better if such rule as that of the ActingGovernor had been in vogue all the time. I was amused the other day at the remark of some one who would have made a good Bourbon supporter. “ Ah,’’ said he, “ the Home authorities have made a great mistake in teaching the people to do without a Governor.” And it is a fact that they can do without one, and yet not entertain the remotest idea of “ cutting the painter.” As I pointed out the other week, the Chief Justice can admirably discharge all the functions of the position, and, as the system is answering so well, the Imperial authorities had best let well alone. But the people really must insist upon the Chief Justice opening and proroguing Parliament in person.

AUCKLAND CITY(?) THE OLD MAN ELOQUENT, My name is the Knight of Kawan, A title you’ve heard ere now; I only address you, to say “ Heaven bless you, And to make you my farewell bow. I have played in many a part, In seasons bright and dreary, I have helped you make your start. And now I am getting weary. Once I could charm you, Or even alarm you With eloquent matter Or radical chatter, Or talk on the people’s condition ; . Or make an oration On high education, Or back up some Native petition. I could string you ropes Of tropes, And metaphor and pathos And smiles That please. And laughter-causing bathos ; I could blanche each cheek With Greek And classical quotations— Make your heads sore with lore Of dead and forgotten nations ; I could confuse j r ou, And also amuse you ; Translations refuse you Until if I choose you Won’t know what I’m saying ; And while j-ou’re confounded By sentences rounded, Entirely astounded With wonder unbounded ' With your wits would be playing. But the voice which once you heard,. •Shall be heaid by you no longer, : The cheering and warning word Shall be spoken by others stronger I have played in many a part In seasons bright andldreary,' I have helped you make your start— Good-bye, 1 am growing weary. AUCKLAND. W. ~.. . The Opposition Free Lance. I am sorry the session is done. For I found it most amusing ; A source of endless fun, And good all round abusing. If office you wish to enjoy, If a Government you would annoy With charges so plaguey, But hollow and vagno-y, . Just call upon me—l’m your boy. I can rise up in my place With gesture awe-inspiring, ' The Ministers pate I face, An answer direct requiring. And I ask in tones that vex With a smile that’s'ifull of beauty If 'iis true that policeman X. Was discovered asleep on duty ? Oh, it enrages them, But it assuages them Wh en after attacking them, And mentally racking them With words of contempt and derision— Away from the house I stalk, . Scorn in my very walk The moment they ring the hells for division. Oh ! if office you seek to enjoy, If a Government you would annoy, Just call upon me—l will suit to a T In matters like that I’m your boy. DUET. John Bull: —Yon said yon would this treaty sign Sultan :—With hope your bosom filling; John You vowed to join your troops with mine. Sultan:—l can’t—l’ve not a shilling ; John And yet to fight you show no heart— Sultan :—With eagerness I’m thrilling; John And all alone I play my part, SultanMy wretched subjects killing. John Faithless monarch, prey to faction,

Thus your mind to change. Sultan Ponder, Johnny, if my action Really is so strange. Oh ! do not bo misjudging, That I my aid am grudging, H Consider my position—head of the Moslem world. Were I to help yournation I might with execration From my throne bo hurled—from my throne be hurled; If I prove a scoffer At your every offer, If I show my sympathies with your foemen lurk ; While I’m venerated You will, deeply hated/ Do the dirty work—do the dirty work. JOHN BULL (ANGRILY) :

You may be a scoffer At my every offer, But beware of trying treaties thus to shirk ; Or you may be fated To be soundly rated, For I take no nonsense from a faithless Turk

THORNDON WARD. r CANMdate)—You say you want a cemet’ry ? (ratepayers)— Exactly so! You place your confidence in me ? Exactly so ! Of course you do; you’re very right. Now turn your eyes to yonder height. And there I think 3'ou’ll find the site— Exactly so ! Some jeer; but say, I am no fool ? Exactly so ! 11 doctor of a famous school ! Exactly so! You’ll have to blast each grave ’tis true In solid rock, but that will do To practice your Torpedo Crew— Exactly so!

The dust of an extinct theology 5a being raised in the Old Country. Blasphemy is again paraded as an indictable offence in accordance with the terms of an old statute of William and Mary, or Noah, or Adam, or some such obscure period when men did indeed tec through glasses darkly, and regarded persecu tion upon religious grounds as meritorious in the highest degree. But the world, or rather the civilised portion of it, has got beyond all that, and freedom to speak out and hold what opinions they like, providing they do not outrage public morality and decency, are accord d to all English-speaking people. At least it is the general opinion of the public that such freedom should be accorded, and the English Press takes this view of it, that is to say, tbe lay section of the British Press. The consensus of opinion is moderate but firm, and a sample of it is given in the religions column of this issue in the form of an extract from the London ‘‘Times.” Excepting in very dark corners indeed, there will scarcely be two opinions upon the subject in tbe colonies. All measures of the kind ought to be expunge from the statute book. What is blasphemy s the first consideration? Who will define it* Clearly every sect in the world will give a definition in exact accordance with the theological light it shines by, and that “ what is one man's fish is another man’s poison ” would be the first demonstration out of arguments. If blasphemy means anything at all, it means treading upon theological corns, and that should be classed amongst offences against the public peace—it is, in fact, language calculated to provoke a breach of the peace, and that’s all. But what is wanted is the rigorous suppression of everything that tends to sap public morality by pandering to the lowest passions of human nature. For instance, the filthy outpourings of Bradlaughs and female Besants ; low class dramatic productions, and societies that tend to promote sectarian animosity ; the men or women who, in their wickedness, outrage home life, —these are public nuisances, and should be treated as such, but as for blasphemy, so termed, bah ! —the idea is too' absurd in this age of the world. A SMOIIECS.