TWELFTH NIGHT, OR WHAT YOU WILL.

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume X, Issue 1034, 30 June 1855, Page 3

TWELFTH NIGHT, OR WHAT YOU WILL.

The Independent, for some reason not very clear to us, has furnished the rising generation with some “Twelfth Night Characters” in June. Lest any “respectable functionaries” should fail to contribute their due quota of amusement, we beg to add one or tw T o to the list. The Churchwarden and the Schoolmaster ought surely to accompany Mr. Bumble :— CHARACTER V. The Schoolmaster. Fit teacher for a “common” school, I treat the public as a fool; I’m Yankee Doodle come to town I I'll run the stupid parsons down! Let me to little children teach Piety honored in its breach; In such a cause I’m strong and willing To spend my last remaining shilling; Though, in my tilt against religion, I miss the rook, I'll hit my pigeon ; For children secularly bred Will honor me. the boastful head Of all their ignorance and vice, And think my services of price. Not so the foolish Pha-razyn, Who, odious in comparison, Thinks even fifty pounds a-yenr For me, as Treasurer, too dear! Bless my accounts! the man can't spell ’em, But leaves the task to Bell and Kelham; So Kelham may bamboozle Bell To say I’ve kept them very well. A fig for figures! on the shelf I stow them; figure for yourself! What matter where the money goes ? Who eares a straw, while no one knows ? Some geese of thousands lost may prate; But I'm a Minister of State: For mine and for my colleagues’ sakes The money goes in ducks and drakes; I keep the keys ; no patriot’s frown Shall take my Yankee spirit down; So hold your tongues, and pray applaud The Yankee Schoolmaster abroad, Or, rather, scarecrow of the law, The Yankee Guy Fawkes, stuffed with straw, Who'll never give his old tricks over, But deals in chaff to live in clover! CHARACTER VI. Declaration of Independence. , 1 It’s I’jm the Independent, ou 6 )e I ns depends— On jllfe Superintendent, And on his Honor's friends. 2 It’s I that, when a schooner sails For England from the port, Do print a lot of lying tales On produce and export. 3 It’s I that, on the morrow Succeeding the earthquakes, Gave out, to Truth’s great sorrow, That they were “ no great shakes.” 4 I'm in with all the “ Ministry," I write whate’er they likes; My mercenary calumny For him who buys it strikes. 5 Sometimes the “press of matter,” Sometimes the “English News," May hide, myself I flatter, The poorness of my Muse. 6 For, when foul mud I spatter On other people’s shoes, My press is of no matter, And Billingsgate my Muse ! 7 And when my dirty hand I try In Government’s defence, “ Oh 1 save us from our friend,” they cry, Who murders common sense !” 8 I’m for religious/reedom, And of my licence proud ; Let parsons,—never heed ’em ! — Go sing and pray aloud! 9 I write for clever people, Who’ll ridicule the Church, And, when they’ve floored the steeple, Leave Chapel in the lurch ! 10 “ Religious Liberty,"—to scoff And laugh at those who pray ; To take religious people off, And blackguard them away! 11 And “ Civil Liberty,” —all hands The licence to malign ; It's I them maxims understands, Them sentiments is mine’! 12 It’s I. the Independent, Said the Spectator lied ; ’Twixt plaintiff and defendant The public can decide. CHARACTER VII. The Literary Lion. I keep a book shop With my name on the top, Where of trade miscellaneous, Home and extraneous, — Many a stroke is done, Though you may poke your fun | I’m not a contractor, But general factor And Government man--Of-alUwork that I can: I’ll sell you soft sawder, Keep members in order; Sell a pencil or shirt, Eat a dinner or dirt; Buy a vote, sell a pin; Vote with Fitz thick and thin, Though the Treasury locker Don’t tally with Cocker; Here's the “Impudent” out! Watt! what are you about ? Though a colleague of Dauiell, You mustn't, my spaniel, „ Give way to “excitement;" When I to the right went, Your duty, you know, Was to follow my go; And to vote for the friends Who enable both ends Of my balauce to meet By the sleight-of-hand feat That lies in the custom Of letting me trust ’em And them trusting me Without contract, d’ye see ? So I don’t lose my seat, And yet make both ends meet, In the little book-stall With my name on the wall.

The Neto Era arrived on Wednesday from London direct, having made an excellent'P as^ e 0 Minetv-eight days from the downs. She has I b cabmand 187 steerage passengers, the greater part of whom are for this place, the steerage passengers having come out, we understand, under arrangements made by the Provincial Government with Messrs. Worsley Wilson, & Co., the agents of Mr. F. Young. The New Era is in every respect a first rate vessel, and the passengers speak in the highest terms of praise of the care and attention of her commander during the voyage. There were three deaths of children, and three births on the passage. The Merchantman, a fine large first- class vessel was to sail for Auckland, Wellington, and Canterbury the Ist of May. She was to convey Colonel Gore Browne, the new Governor of New Zealand with his family and suite to the Colony. The Bishop of New Zealand was to sail the beginning of April, for. Auckland, in the Duke of Portland; we understand his Lordship left England in his new yacht the Southern Cross, but was obliged to put back owing to some defect in the vessel. Some extracts will be found of European news from the Times, of March 16tb, the latest date supplied by the New Era, also some late English news, via Sydney received by the Gazelle. The Gazelle arrived on Wednesday from Sydney with a cargo of horses and sheep: She has had a favorable passage, and. we understand the stock on board are all in first-rate condition, very few losses having occurred on the passage. We are glad to see a numerously signed requisition has been presented to Dr. Monteith, requesting him to become a candidate for the office of Coroner. The first name on the list of requisitionists is Mr. Dorset, the present holder of the office. It would seem that the observations we have recently had occasion to make with reference to the way in which the duties of the Coroner have been discharged have not been without their effect, and we have every reason to believe the public will be gainers in its contemplated changes. We take the foilawing extract from the Empire, of June 8, shewing the present state of the flour market at Sydney There has been an important rise in wheat to day, (Friday, June 8), offers have been made and refused, for a parcel of New Zealand wheat to arrive, at 20s. per bushel. It is reported that a higher price than this has been obtained for wheat lately purchased. Flour is this day £43 first quality and £4O for seconds.