OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1732, 10 May 1905, Page 10

OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.

FLittle folks are invited to 6end letters to "Uncle Toby” on any subject; and notes about their gardens and household pets will be very acceptable.]

UNCLE TOBY S STORY BA6

The other Saturday a boy about three feet high walked into a newspaper office and handed to the editor a dirty scrap containing a brief account of a juvenile football match. Glancing at the report*, the editorial eye caught the words: “iSikeffington scored a magnificent goal, which completely beat the custodian.” “Who is Skeffington ?” demanded the editor. The human atom turned the thumb of the right hand to l his breast and answered, proudly: “1 am Skeffington.”

Bobby: “How much footwear do you wear out in a month, Tommy?” Tommy: 'T!wo pairs of shoes and a pair of my mother’s slippers.”

Old Gent: I hope that is not tobacco you are chewing, little hoy ? Little Boy: Terbacco be blowed; it’s mumps.

Lady Teacher: “Children, you should always respect your teacher. Now, Willie, tell me why you should respect me.”

Willie: “On account of your age, miss.”

Little Brother: “Can’t you walk straight, Mr Mangle?” Mr Mangle: “Of course I can, my little man. Why do you ask?” Littie Brother: “Oh, nuthin’; only I heard sister say she’d soon straignten you up when she married you. And ma said she’d help her.”

Mother (firmly, to little daughter who is about to have a tooth drawn): “Now, May, if you cry I’ll never take you to a dentist’s again.”

Teacher: “Willie, who was it that prompted, you then? I heard someone whisper that date to you.” Willie: “Please, ma’am. I expect it was history repeatin’ itself again.”

The little hoy picked himself out of the puddle, where his rude playmates had thrown him. He wiped the mud from his velvet trousers, his silk stocks ings, and his lace collar, and straightened out his long golden curls as well as their demoralised and bedraggled condition would permit. “This,” he said, bitterly, “is what comes of being mamma’s little pet.”

Historian: “Boy, is this the field upon which the great battle was fought?” Native boy: “No zur; that be it at the top of that hill.” Historian : “Dear, dear! that hill must be quite a mile away! (Playfully) Why ever didn’t they fight in this field? Boy: “I suppose because this here veld belongs to Varmer Johnson. He will never lend his vields for anything, not even for t’ village sports?”

Deacon Good: “Don’t you think it cruel for you to draw a fish out of his native element by a sharp, iron hook?” Fisher Boy: “It’s no fault of mine. When I’m just giving a worm a salt water bath, wfiat does a fish want to hook himself to my line Tor? It’s no business of his.”

YOUR BIRTHDAY.

A SONG OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR CHILDREN.

So to-day is your birthday, darling; You’re happy because you’re six. You’ve got for your birthday presents A sword and a box of bricks. Your’re building a castle, you tell me, A castle so fine and tall, But I must not come too near it,

For a touch will make it fall. The sword is a toy one, darling, And it’s useless in the strife, ‘The battle you do not dream of—

The fearsome battle of Life. But there is a sword called Honour, That is bright when others rust — May you carry that sword through life, dear. May it- win you all men’s trust. So, happy returns of the day, dear; May the years with joy he filled, And i trust ’er-e- you come to sixty Many castles beside you’ll build. And some of them, dear may tumble,

But there’s one that shall never foil—’Tis the home- that is elsewhere builded, j>y the One who is over us all. —“Pearson’s Weekly.”

11. MISFIT SPECTACLES.

I’ve wondered why the spectacles that help grandpa to read Should make things, when I pub them on, look very queer indeed. Good reason why his .spectacles for me will never do, For, don’t you see, my eyes are brown, while grandpapa’s are blue! —Alwin West, “St. Nicholas.”

WHY THE PARTY WAS ARRANGED.

Mr Green: “Now, I’m. going to tell you something, Ethel. Do you know that last night, at our party, your sister promised to marry me? I hope you’ll forgive me for taking her away.” Lflicie Ethel: “Forgive you, Mr Green! Of course I will. Tv by, that was what the party was arranged for, you know.”

BLASE CHILDREN.

When it is remembered that children’s parties no longer mean afternoon tea, with jam and cake and play, but late hours, unwholesome suppers, dances, theatres, even occasionally champagne (which to a normally constituted child should prove nauseous rather than nice), it can easily be understood why we see so many bias© young folk. —“The Graphic.”

CHILDHOOD REASONING.

I. THE TEACHER TAUGHT.

In their efforts to teach children, parents are often surprised by the original views which the youngsters take, and by their presentation of views which, while they may be but partial, are at least correct and discriminating so far as they go.

It occurred to a father, who l noticed a carpenter hammering upon the roof of a distant house, that he would give ins littie son (eight- years old) a lesson in physics, by calling attention to til© fact that the blows of the hammer could be seen before the sound made by them could b© heard, and explaining that the difference in time between the seeing of the blows and the hearing of the noise was due to the fact that sight travels much faster than sound. He sought to introduce the subject by asking tne boy if he understood why it was that he could see the hammer fall before he could jear the noise of the stroke. He was astonished to receive the reply: “Yes; it’s because my eyes are nearer to the hammer than, my ears.” —Edwin J. Prindle.