“JOE.”

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1716, 18 January 1905, Page 70 (Supplement)

“JOE.”

SOME STORIES OF A STATESMAN. The Right Hon. Joseph Chamberlain was eighteen when he first entered Birmingham to begin his life's Avork in the firm of Nettlefold, screw makers, carrying Avith him a letter of introduction to the parents of Sir Thomas Martineau, Avhich read: “Please be kind and see as much as you can of ‘poor Joe/ for he knows nobody in Birmingham." It happened in their Camber\A r ell house when Joe Avas merely a tiny boy in petticoats, and Avas playing Avith soldiers with his little sister. Each child had a pea-shooter, and Avas bombarding the other's troops. Joseph's army resisted with extraordinary firmness a terrific assault, Avhile little Miss Chamberlain's force suffered terrible havoc. At last victory rested Avith Joseph, Avhen it occurred. to his sister to inspect the successful army. She found it glued to the floor 1 . A lady once commented on his fondness for flowers. “Oh," said Mr Chamberlain, “I do not know that I am particularly fond of them, but Avhen I started groAving flowers I made up my mind that no one should have better ones than I." Mr Chamberlain rarely uses notes Avhen speechmaking. All tbe same, however, his speeches are not only carefully prepared, but also rehearsed. One day a very valuable plant was discovered broken in the orchid house at Highbury. Very annoyed, Mr Chamberlain told the gardener that visitors should no longer be permitted to see the orchids. The gardener declared that the damage Avas not done by visitors. “Then by whom?" cried the statesman. “I am determined to discover the culprit." “You did it yourself, sir, for I saw you," replied the gardener. “You Avere walking up and doAvn talking to yourself. I heard Lord Rosebery's name, and then, sir, you struck out Avith your right arm, suddenlilce, and down Avent the orchid," A Sunday school Avas once holding its annual picnic in the grounds at Highbury One of the games Avas a kissing game, and as the mirth* became fast and furious Mr Chamberlain was observed to leave his post under the trees and to ad\ T ance into the ring. His sharing m the fun Avas received Avith delight by the young people, and the laughter rose to the highest pitch Avhen a tiny maiden Avalked forAvard and claimed the salute, which he heartily gave. . On one occasion Mr Chamberlain Avas addressing a croAvded meeting in a Board school one sultry July evening. During the speech there Avas a. slight disturbance at the back of the room, and the speaker paused. A Ai'orking man seized the opportunity to yell out: “We are boiling " The reply came back at once. ‘ £ My dear sir," said Mr Chamberlain,

very sympathetically, “I am extremely sorry for you, but if it’s any consolation to you to kuoAV it, I'm roasting." Mr Chamberlain has been to Canada, to Africa, to Egypt, to the Bahamas, and several times to America. When visiting Egypt once he and Mr Jess© Collings missed their boat at Malaga. The only craft they could get wa3 a little vessel which ordinarily did not carry passengers. For a due consideration the captain consented to take them.. “But," said he, “I ain't got no sort of accommodation. You (to Mr Collings) can have my bunk in the cabin; the youngster Avill have to knock it out ,oa the sofa." The youngster, of course, was “Joe."

Soon after he had taken up the office, of Colonial Secretary, a minor appointment became vacant at the Colonial office, and one of the permanent officials filled it up. The appointment being in the nominal gift of the Colonial Secretary, a formal document was laid before Mr Chamberlain for signature. He was told that appointments had been made in that wary from time immemorial. Mr Chamberlain Avas very surprised; more than that, he refused to sign the document. He had the applicant for the post before bim, made a brief but searching examination of tbe man, found him unfitted for the post, and sent him off. It was the occasion of Mr Austea Chamberlain's first notable speech in Parliament, and it was a distinct success. Among those present was Mr Gladstone. The Grand Old Man, ever courteous and magnanimous, forgot for the moment that Mr Chamberlain Avas, perhaps, his most relentless political opponent. ’ All he remembered was that Mr Chamberlain had a son Avkose speech had impressed him, and he rose and congratulated both father and son. The Avords of praise brought tears to the glad father's eyes, yet they say Mr Chamberlain is entirely lacking in sentiment.