MEXICAN THIEVES

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1687, 29 June 1904, Page 75 (Supplement)

MEXICAN THIEVES

; Thieves are plentiful in Mexico, also, they are very adroit, and many stories are in circulation of their cunning. A travelling fakir of the' popular V loudmouthed type arrived some time ago in the capital, and* set up his booth in the Plaza Mayor. The extraction of teeth without pain was the lure that drew a throng, and several successful performances made good the promise. 'His rather primitive method was to fife a pistol close to the patient’s head at the moment of gripping the molar.. The shock of the noise sufficed to distract the sufferer’s attention, ahd on the whole thefo were few. complaints. At last a well-dressed Mexican pushed his way through the crowd, and, moaning over an aching tooth, seated himself in the chair.

“Which one ?” asked the dentist, briskly.

The man hesitated a moment. “Tho smallest on the left side,” he finally answered. “But the <tooth appears perfectly sound,” said the dentist, after .a survey. “But it has ached for tljree days, I tell you, and I want it out.” “You’ll pay in advance?” was the query. “Certainly. Will it take long?” The fakir a dollar in his palm, smiled reassuringly, and pulled out a handsome gold watch. “It will he over before the second hand can go half-way round, 1 -' he boasted.

“All right,” said the patient, resigned-

lyThe dentist got a good grip, on the tooth, winle the man lay [back quietly in the chair. There was a loud crack of tho pistol, and the dentist held up a tooth.

“It was a" mistake to part with .that, senor; but did you feel anything?”

‘‘No; did you?”

“No,” was the puzzled response. ‘"Then we’re oven, " said the Mexican, getting up and disappearing ip the crowd.

A few minutes later the dentist clapped his hand to his empty waistcoat pocket in dismay. It was then that he appreciated the “timely” .iest of his patient. -- ' '

A story almost too perfectly rounded to an xamusing close is nevertheless vouched for among the raconteurs of Mexico. It is said that a well-known judge found himself at the opening of court one morning without his watch, which he remembered to have left under .his pillow. His remark was overhard by a loiterer, -and presently, a messenger arrived at tho judge’s casa. and asserted that the judge wanted the watch, which had .been left in the bed. Furthermore, tliq judge had sent the fine turkey the man was carrying, and wished it cooked for supper, as he had invited guests. , ’ Such plausible statements could no'o fail to win confidence. The watch was oxchanged for the bird by the lady of tha. house herself, and the messenger went on his way rejoicing. Home came the judge at noon, for the midday meal and the afternoon siesta, and with his first inquiry for his watch the trick was exposed. The judge, how-., over, whilo lamenting the watch, appreciated the thief’s ingenuity, and pronounced him needlessly generous in tho matter of the turkey. But since tho ratero had made the suggestion, why not bring home some friends for supper, after all? The judge returned to court, and the worthy senora saw that the turkey was prepared, in the manner acceptable to Mexican palates—cooked with a rich, dark Chili sauce. It was done to a turn, when a man came in breathless haste to say the scamp who stole the judge’s watch that morning had been apprehended, and the watch recovered, but the judge needed the turkey sent as evidence in disposing of the case. “But the turkey as already cooked,” protested the distressed housewife, with no thought but for her supper. “Si senorita. but the judge says to send it as it is, and he’ll send it back again before it’s cool.” So the judge’s wife sped the turkey on its way, and within a few minutes her husband appeared with his friends. “I hope you didn’t forget to cook that turkey, Matilde/* lie said, clieeifully. “I can almost forgive the rascal thats got my watch for the sake of mole de guajolote.” Sobs choked Matilde’s mortified response, as she realised that she had twice been victimised, and the par y supped frugally, though not/ without mirth on the part of the guests.