COMICALITIES OF COURTSHIP

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1686, 22 June 1904, Page 9

COMICALITIES OF COURTSHIP

O! love, love, love! Dove is like a dizziness, It winna let a puir boddie Gang aboot his bizziness! ; —James Hogg

“Tom,” said a young lady to her beau, who seemed to be rather “backward in coming forward,” “Tom, have you been saying anything to mother lately ?” “No.” replied Tom ; “why do you ask?” “Because she said this morning she believed .you were on tbp eve of proposing to me. Now. I don't wish you to speak to mother when you have anything of that kind to say. Speak to me, and I’llmanage the business with mother.” A broad hint sometimos is made broader as the girl gets older. “George,” said Ethel one evening, just when the conversation was beginning to fag, “George, you remind me of an hour glass.” “In what respect?” “Why, the more time given you the less sand you seem to have.” “Oh, ah—pardon me. Miss Minnie, but at what age do you think women should all—marry? You know, the newspapers are disciu ,ing the question,” said young Timid.

“At about my age, I think, Mr Timid,” she replied sweetly. A young man. whose father was a sheep farmer, had a sweetheart at- a farm in the neighbourhood. One stormy day in winter he paid her a visit, and, being father “bushfu’,” he had nothing to say, but at last he blurted out. “Jeanie, I. doot faither’s sheep’ll be lost i’ the snaw-”

“Weel, Donald.” said she, kindly taking him by the hand, “I’ll keep ane o’ them ony»vey.” Some girls appear to feel their way, so to speak, to the young man’s, heart. “And do you really feel it a pleasure to walk beside me. Tom?” she thoughtfully inquired. If bis words were anything to go by, it was.

“And do you truly care for me?” she further sought to find out. “Darling, I love you with all my heart,” he declared, with novel emphasis.

“But, Tom, I have the impression that somehow you’will change some day,” she suggested. “Darling, never!” he honestly avowed. “To the letter I will be true.” “Then. Tom,” she said, with a sly look, “would you advise me to try someone else? You see, I wanted you to change my surname.” Speaking of tins reminds us of another instance, where the hint, however, _ was not taken so happily. A certain minister of the namo of Brown, who had been paying great attentions to a certain Miss Bread, was looked' upon as her intended. Now the reverend gentleman was wont to toast Miss Bread’s health at any private “social” they happened to be at. One night, as usual, the Rev. Mr Brown and Miss Bread were present at an “At. Home,” when he got up and proposed the health of the fair lady. .When he sat down, Miss Broad rose, and took the company by storm with—“Mr Brown has been toasting me, now for about a dozen years, and—l’m not Brown yeti” Young ladies seem to like a little more than a mere proposal. “Maudie,” once faltered a young gallant,' after he had made his trembling confession and the dear girl had said “Yes”; “shall—shall—are you going to tell anyone about it ?” “How can I keep from telling it, Harry ?” said the maiden, with downcast eyes. “My lips are not sealed!” He attended to tee sealing of them at once.

A. young man one night took his intended out for a drive. When they entered a dark ravine which they had to traverse on their way, the lady exclaimed—

“Oh, dear! I’m feart; it-s sae aAvfu’ dark here.”

“There’s naething to he feavt o’. We’ll sune be in til the numelicht again,” and he urged the horse onwards. “It’s nae the darkness. It’s for fear ye—ll kiss me!” • “Kiss ye? I couldna. My hands are na free for *the reins.”

A short pause ensued. Then the sly wench observed—“if ye dinna, mind, dear, I’ll haud the reins a wee.” In the way of love there is much humbug which might with advantage to both parties he dispensed with. So thought honest Tam, the ploughman. “Jeanie, woman,” said he, pathetically, “Ye miclit tell a lad that ye like a lad ’ an’ no haud a fellow aye treatin’ye!” Tom had once taken his sweetheart to a dance, but was horrified at the finish of the entertainment to see Jeanie going homo with another beau. “Hullo, Tam,” said a chum, meeting him; “what’s the matter P“ “Matter!” growled Tam, “there’s Jeanie, the jade, awa’ hame wi’ Tamson, aifter—aifter ’ (trying to swallow his wrath) I fetched her here an’—an’ fed her!”

One night a bashful yound lady was escorted home by an equally shy young man. When parting, the lady said—- “ For onysake, Geordie, dinna let on to ony ane that ye cam’ hame wi’ me.” “Na, na; dinna disturb.yersei’ aboot that I’m as sair affrontit at it as ye are yersei’ I” replied Geordie. It was no wonder that Geordie met with little encouragement next time he saw the girl,

“Ye’re lookin’ awfu’ bennie thisunornin’, Maggie,” said Geordie. “Yer breath has sic a smell o’ clover that I would like to kiss ye.” “Clover, indeed !” retorted Meg. “Awa’ an’ eat hay—it’s guid enough for a fttuf.” Some lovers are unfortunate enough to drown their discretion in the- eloquence of their appeal. In a sweet secluded corner of a ballroom tAVO lovers sat happily “cooing” together. Lovesick Romeo had been praising the pretty Juliet very, very much, as admiring lovers are wont to do. “Oh. step yer flatteries, noo,” she at last objected, “or I’ll baud my li&afis owre my lugs.” “Ah, my bonnie, doo,” replied the enraptured Romeo, wishing to be complimentary, “bub yer dainty wee handies ai e far OAver sma’!” Then lie wondered why Juliet Avoukv« s fe speak to him after that.