DOMESTIC SERVICE AND HOME LIFE

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1675, 6 April 1904, Page 25

DOMESTIC SERVICE AND HOME LIFE

“Home should be an oratorio of the memory; 'singing to all or iff aJfter-life melodies and harmonies of old-remem-bered joy/’" Consciously or unconsciously the pre-sent-day attitude of mistress to maid and maid to mistress is having its effect, an unpleasing effect, too, upon household contentment, until one wonders if m the process of time avo men will not shrink as much from availing themselves of the services of the domestic servant as these servants themselves would appear to shrink from honourable service, and the participation in home life it entails. It cannot be denied that it is a serious question, that it behoves ns to take matters as they stand, and not to regard the subject simply a state of affairs revealing upon the one side a petty tyranny and upon the other a overgrowth of indiiv du.vl.ty. Let us take the case of the mistress first. Order and punctuality arc her two great rules to which every member of her household must unquestionably submit. She knows ns none other, not only are they- needed forces, but of inestimable benefit in oiling the wheels of domestic life, preventing, as they do, the annoyance caused by waste of time, which brings in its train the- hasty word, and in time wrinkles to tlie- brow and jaded nerves. Now-, drder and punctuality appear to the average domestic as useless briefs to fidgetiness. They cannot and will not ramie us land that the arrangement of their dub cs should be regarded from an ethical pomt of vdew as much as from that, .more commonly accepted one the paid-for right to service, while both order and. pnnetualitj7 (save in the rarest of cases) having been strangers in their own homes, they are totally unable to* conceive them as essential in the home of another. Truth, even as the golden sunlight, is another thing the wise mistress of a heme lays fine stress tipon, and it cannot be denied! that it bears an exceedingly elastic meaning in the mind of the domest'c servant, and so this at onoe causes an intangible shadow between mistress and maid. Active ability to perform the cLutves she has undertaken is vet another demand made by the mistress. How often, then, is this insistence upon the terms of their mutual agreement regarded as the fall of the thermometer in wintry weather, the desire to grumble, and so quench whatever light-heartedn e-ssi there is kitchen, because the powers that be have rested thel.fr chilly fingers upon some small act of commission or omission, and yet—who more insistent upon aught tending to personal comfort than these very rebels to authority. The good ordler of a house is like contentment upon a highly sensitive and intelligent face, one knows that it will have been bard Avon to have endoAved it with this lasting serenity- It is net giyen to everyone to realise the truth of these two facts, that there must he give with the one hand and! take Avith the other between the mistress ruling and the Avoman ruled- Judging from the many homes one is able to call to . mind, their uncomfortable arrangements. the utter lack of small considerations toAA'ards the household, betray a sad something wanting m the Averting population, a pitiful lack of successes in many of our vaunted so-called socialistic schemes for ‘‘'the greatest good for the greatest .number,” a fearful want ot the sense of the fitness of things in, the mothers who send their daughters into domestic service lamentably ignorant a,nil totally unequipped In practical method, or those finer instincts making for truth anjd honesty of mind and purpose, Avh’ich (alas! some generations ago) Avero the boast of the women to whom good Service ay as an honourable profession, and who consequently desired nothing better for tlieir daughters. Of veffy grave moment- Is the careless consideration given to the servant’s character, and this to a greater extent than any one of us 1 can of a surety have realised’ is the direct cause of inefficient service, the readiness to leave one situation for another, utterly regardless a! cause and character, or waste of money incurred by change. For this the ma jority of the mistresses are themselves wholly to blame in respect of the careless manner in which they give these re ferences. It- is not an uncommon thing for a gentleAvoman to be asked for a servant’s character three or four times, and as a rule she gives it. Less uncommon is it. Avhen iniditing the record of her servant’s behaviour wliiillst under her roof to dwell upon the good points and to slur or ignore those points upon which her prospective mistress is surely justly entitled to information. The too frequent abuse of the registry office is another evil to* which far too little attention has hitherto been paid., Any woman, providing she has a vague smattering of the three R’s, considers herself competent to act as gobetween betwixt mistress and maid. The qualities of tactful discretion, of fair play, and keen, intuitive power would not appear necessary fo)r the business condition of the modern registry office. It would seem that though these people make the 'larger portion of their incomes from the employers, they hold a perpetual brtef for tine domestic employee, and are not always too far removed front them in position to refrain from a,n idle and impertinent cariosity concerning the habits and doings of their clients.

It is but bare justice to at the same time regard this vexed! question from the servants point of view, and the wo<men avlio Avill deny they have good points are probably the Avomen avlio do most toAvmyls making them had. It should he remembered that- the mistress who knows how, why and when a duty should he performed, in thus good knowledge lias an undisputed weapon, to aid her authority. One cannot wonder, or greatly condemn irregularities in a servant Avhcre the mistress of the lialne lias no fixed regularity in her own daily Life and example. Whilst we condemn falsehood in our maids avo should be strjet in our own statements, both in reference to the duties required from them, and to the individual privileges accorded to them. The maul-servant, in time, has but little respect for the mistress who is in the hah t of making fair promises, but who is apt to regard the making, of the prnuse itself as a lend concession, not of necessity entail mg its fulfilment. The question of ‘‘off 'time is another stumbling block bctAveen many a maid and her mstress, and in this*! think Ave should aV.cm- every possible latitude, hearing in kindly remembrance the monotony, even, under its happiest conditions, of domestic .service, with the inevitable sameness of its daily round.

The inability of some women to* take an interest in aught that closely touches their servants’ family affairs is vet another deterrent to faithful service. The abrupt- manner in Avhich many women issue their commands, added to an undue severity of reproof often defeats its own ends. Brought up amongst a class AA’ho cannot strive or contend with fate, or against that Avhich is rep silent and sordid, it is not wholly to ho wondered that the ideal in service, or even that they can make .it an ideal, is undreamt of or has been merged in present-day hatred of class distinction.

It is to he hoped that amongst the generations aa'lio coma after us, present day domestic servants, themselves mothers, luwing draAvn Avise example from sad experience, will enab’e thvr girls toj obtain efficient training in the home, and wliilst teaching them the various duties appertaining to domestic service, will add to its practical A r alue by inoculating their girls Avith the* .idea of the dignity of labour, and the A’aluo of good work done fc*r its own sake.