OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1675, 6 April 1904, Page 16

OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.

(BY UNCLE TOBYJ

fLittle folks' are invited to send letters . to "TJncle Toby” on any subject; and notes about their gardens and household pets will be very acceptable.] A FEW RIDDLES. What houses are the easiest to break imto?—The houses of bald people; because their locks are few. What fruit resembles two? —A pear. Why ig a benevolent man like a cart horse?—Because he stops at the cay of woe. What word sometimes begins with its second letter ?—Speculation. What tree is- nearest the sea? —The ThS’clcli Why is the letter E like London?—Because it is the capital of England. Why are watches like grasshoppers?— Because they move by springs. What is the difference between a postage stamp and a schoolboy ?-•-One you lick with a stick, and the other you stick with a lick. _ Why is a shrimp like a member of. Parliament ? —Because it has M.P. at the end of its name. THE CAMEL LEGEND. In Camel Land —twas 1 years ago—(As all the early records show) Mr. and Mrs. Camel tall Had on their hacks no hump at all. When the two babes came to bleS9 Their home with camel loveliness, Their joy xvas full. ‘‘Dear wife,” said he. “Our boys are straight as straight can be!” But when their age was six or eight (It pains me this fact to relate), The parents' counsel® (so they say) The boys neglected to obey. "Oh, sit up straight! 5 ' the mother cried, When the round shoulders she espied. ‘‘You'll be hump-backed unless you do,” The father said; "a thing you'll rue!” But no; the hoys had their own way, ... Refusing counsel to obey. Until—too late to change, alack! — Each had a hump upon his back. UNCLE TOBY'S JOKELETS. “Wont you have another biscuit?” asked the hostess. “No, thank you,' 5 she replied; "really I don't know how many I have eaten already.” "I do,” said little Bobby, eagerly ; "you've ate seven. I've beeu counting.” First Boy: “You Ought ter come to the 3mcert our music-teacher is goin' to Second Boy: "You goin' to be in it ?” “Yns. I’m one of the primmer' donnas 1 . We are going to give a cantata.” "Wot's that?” > “Oh, it's all about sunshine and storms and picnics and harvesters and all sorts of country things. It's rippin'!” “Do you sing all that ?” "No—o. I'm only in the first scene, *Barly Mornin' on th' Farm.’ ” “Wot do you. do in that P” “I crow.” Sunday-school Teacher: “Who dwelt in the .garden of. Eden. Mabel ?” Little Mabel: “Oh, I know; the Adamses.” "Mother,” said little JoLichy. peering between the- leaves of an uncut magazine, “however did) they get the printing in fihere?’ Mamma: “Johnny, do you know what £ay to-morrow will be?” Johnny: “Yes, mamma, my birthday.” Mamma: “And! what would you like fcr the occasion ?” Johnny (after a pause): “I’d like to s* e our schoolhouse burn down.” Family Doctor: “I hope, my dear lady, that you are all the better for your long holiday and thorough change of air.” The Patient: "It has done-all the good in the world, my dear doctor. I am a different being; in fact, quite another woman!” Sharp Child: “Oh, mamma! How pleased papa will be when he hears thisl” HIS CONSIDERATE FORETHOUGHT. - Mother: “This report you have brought me from Sunday School displeases) •- e very much.” Harry: “Yes, mother; I tola the teacher it would, but she's so obstinate she wouldn't change it.” CHILD HUMOUR, Mr. Raymond Blathwayt writes to the “Daily Mail”: Mr. Edward Cooper has given us some delightful instances of child humour. Here are two Which quite recently' came within my own experience: A little girl-, aged four, met a Hindu gentleman at luncheon. Gazing in aston- , Tshment at his dbsky face, she at last 7" cried out: "Why, when you went to the seaside you must have stopped out of dmrs all the time.” ; vj m,: _ -In the second) case the child's sarcasm is all the more biting that it is uncimBcious. The late Mayer of Shrews oury—a colonel of voluLteprs- -came into .;he dining-room one day l recently clad l in all the panoply of war. His wife w aid to their baby boy, "There, when Bobby’s a man. lie shall be a soldier too.” “No. mother.” said his little sister aged

seven" "Bobby won't be a soldier because he'll be killed, and he won't be a sailor because he'll be drowned, but he'll be a volunteer like Daddy, and then he'll be quite safe!” ' FUN WITH NUMBER,b. . There is a whole hour of delightful nonsense in the new riddles found on the Arabia numerals —an hour of that nonsense which, according to the old verse, ig now and then relished by the best of men. By using the full list the riddles may be made the nucleus of a very attractive evening sociable. Yoxing people, particularly those who are still working in the various branches of mathematics', are sure to be charmed with thisi extraordinary form of arithmetic. And older members of society when school days are long passed will enter into the problems with equal zest-. The idea of school days', might be carried out picturesquely on the evening of the party, presenting to each player an old fashioned school slate, with pencil, sponge and rag. The' question® are written on the upper half of the elate in a clear distinct hand. The lower portion! is l&ft for the answers. Prizes could be laughable affairs suggestive of early school days, such as books of a very juvenile character. The bepby might take the form of a fool’s cap rendered brilliant with goldl and silver paper. The booby winner should be obliged to wear this during the remainder of the evening. Here are a baker’s dozen of the questions to show the working plan. Those given here can be used as they stand', or added to, according to the discretion of the hostess. What number becomes even by mbtracting one ? —S' —even. By subtracting two? —Eil—even. What number by substraeting one belongs to us —F—our. What number by adding one becomes heavy ?—W—eight, 'What number is finished by adding one ? —One. D—one. What number becomes frequent by adding two? —Ten. Of —ten. What number by subtracting one becomes a stronghold ? —Fort—y. What number by the addition of one stands alone?—One. U—one. What number by subtracting two is gone ? —T-—went —y. 'What number becomes fourteen pounds by adding two ? —One. St—one. What number reversed becomes clear profit ?—Ten. Net. What number by adding three becomes foolish P—Nine. Asinine. What number remains the same after subtracting one? —Two. T(w)o. THE FAIRY LAMPSI- - was onoei a little, bare-legged, brown-limbed boy who spent all his time in the wood's. He loved the woods and all that was in them. He used to look, not at the flower's, but deep down into them, and not at the singing-bird l , but into its eye, to its little heart; and so lie got an insight better than most others, andi he quite gave up collecting birds' eggs. But the wood® were full of mysteries. He used to hear little bursts of song, and when he came to the place he could find no bird there. Noises and movement's would just escape him. Iu the wood he saw strange tracks!, and one day, at length, he saw a wonderful bird making these very track®. He had never seen' the bird before, and would have thought it a great rarity had he not seen its tracks everywhere. So he learned that the woods were full of beautiful creatures that were skilful and quick to avoid him. One day, as he passed by a spot that he had been to a hundred times, he found

a bird's nest. It must have been there ail the time, and yec he had not seen it, *‘>d so he learned how blind lie was, and. exclaimed: —"Oh, if only I could see, ilion I might understand these things ! If oUv I knew! If I could but see for once how many they are and how near! If only every birch would wear over its nest this evening a little lamp to show me!” "i!he sun was down, now, but all at once there was a soft light on the path, and in the middle of it the brown boy saw a Little Brown Lady in a long robe, and in her hand a rod.

She smiled pleasantly, and said: “Little boy, lam a, Fairy of the Woods 1 . i have been watching you for long. I like yon. You seen! to be different from other boys. Your request shall be granted.” i Then she faded away. But at once the whole landscape twinkled over with wonderful little lamps—long lamps, short lamps, red, blue and green, high, and low, doubles, single® and groups; wherever he looked were lamps—twinkle, twinkle, twinkle here and 1 everywhere, until the forest shone like a, starry sky. He ran to, Die nearest, and there, sure enough, was a bird's nest. He ran tcvthe next; yes, another nest.. And he/e and there each different kind) of lamp stood for another kind of nest. A beautiful pxtrple blaze in a low tangle caught his eye. He ran there, and saw a nest he had! never .seen before. It was full of purple eggs, and there was the rare bird he had seen but once. It was chanting the weird song he had often heard, but never traced. But the eggs were the marvellous things. His old! egg-collecting instinct broke out. He rushed forth to clutch the wonderful prize and—in an instant all the lights went out. There was nothing but the black woods about him. Then on the pathway again j shoqe the soft light. It grew brighter, till in the middle of it he saw the Little Brown Lady—the Fairy of the Woods. But she wa® not smiling now. Her 'ace was stern and sad a® she said: "I fear I set you overhigh. I thought you better than the rejst. Keep' this in mind: “ 'Who reverence not the lamp of life can never sqe its light.' ” ; Then she faded from his view.—Ernest i Thompson Seaton, in "The Century.”