NEWS AND NOTES.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1653, 4 November 1903, Page 12

NEWS AND NOTES.

Ai London dealer has just announced that certain perfumes affected by his ivarious patients in time produce an effect upon those using them. Violets inculcate a predisposition to sympathy ana novation, geranium makes one audacious and bold, mint generate craft and business capacity, opoponax produces fo y, xussia leather indolence, while vervian dovelopes a taste for fine arts. .Lavender generates a restful and quiet disposition, lit is well known that a pat-poum or roses is most refreshing when one is suffering from an attack of the “blue®. Strong odopir of roses will very often drive away a headache and if inhaled continually will act as a disinfectant. • *r * * #

An English and a German were travelling together in a diligence, and both were smoking. The German did all in his power to draw his companion into conversation', but all to no purpose. At one moment he would, with a superabundance of politeness, apologise for drawing his attention to the fact that the ash of his cigar had fallen on his waistcoat or a spark was endangering liis neckerchief. At length the Englishman exclaimed, “Why the deuce can’t you leave me alone ? Your coat tail has been burning for the last ten miniates, but I didn’t bother you about it.” « * * W

One day the Emperor of Austria encountered two poachers in his own domain. As scon as they recognised their Sovereign they threw themselves down on their knees to entreat his pardon. Hoth were old soldiers and fathers of large families, who had suffered greatly through the agricultural depression, and in their need they had yielded to the temptation to procure food for their families by poaching. The Emperor allowed them to depart-, only taking their names and addresses. In fear and trembling the two eld soldiers expected each day to find themselves arrested and punished. But great was their surprise when, gif ter a few days, come letters to say that they were both appointed garnerkeepers. The Emperor had ascertained the truth of their statements, and found that they had bravely served him through the sanguinary war of 1866.

A Scots tradesman, who had amassed, as he believed, £4OOO, was much surprised when his clerk, producing the bal-ance-sheet, showed that the amount was actually £6OOO. They both cast-up the columns, and both made the larger amount. One nigiio afterwards the tradesman began to count np the columns . again, after which he rushed to the house of his clerk in a pouring rain. “You scoundrel,” he exclaimed, when a night-cap emerged from an upper window, “Ye’ve addled on the year of our Lord among the pounds.”

'We liear, says “Punch,” that, as a result of the War Commission, there are to be two more Commissions —one to 6it forthwith to find out what are our actual military requirements, and another to sit five years later to find onit why the recommendations of the preceding one have not been carried out. The Commission has anyhow had the effect of waking up the War Office. The report had been published Tittle more than a week when the following intimation was circulated with a view to disarming criticism: “The Secretary for War has directed that militia frocks of the old pattern are to he converted to the new pattern. Also, the manoeuvres of the Third Army Corps in Ireland are being conducted under actual service conditions. They have been postponed for lack of sufficient transport. It is reported from Aden that arms and ammunition supplied to the Somalis have been traced to a British firm. This is satisfactory. Great Britain may at least claim credit for the successes of the Mullah.

Among the many public evils of modern l#e demanding the attention of physicians and legislators alike, few are of such far-reaching importance to the welfare of the race' as the growing habit of indulgence in alcoholic liquors by young married women, says the dMedical Press” As to the causes which lead women so to indulge, idleness and grief seem to take the first place, though at the opposite poles of society! *T,Ko richer classes, or that section of them which lias nothing to do, find amusement in giving way to secret drinking, and even frequent private counters of innocent looking confectioners 3 shops for the purpose of indulging in alcoholic beverages. At the other extremity of the social scale, it is sometimes little to be wondered at, when one thinks of the misery and want endured by the poor, that a sure, if temporary, is found in the spirit bottle.

.Kansas lias a knotty p ini to unravel in its davorce law just WvV. The Jaw provides that a divorce shall not become final until six months after the decree has been granted. At Emporia two months ago a woman, was given, a divorce from her husUat-1 Kecently she noticed that he was -v-cVy much in the society of another woman, taking lier to church and buying her peanuts and oodcorn. She now says she is go-

ing into court to have a ruling on the question whether the man has a right to “keep company” with another woman before bis decree is made absolute. The case is as deep as another which arose in somewhat similar circumsances. A woman was divorced from her husband. Before the six months had gone by he was ejected to the office of district judge. Thereupon liis divorced wife had her visiting cards printed with the title announcing herself as “Mrs Judge Blank.” Society in the district broke a]l to pieces ever the question whether she had the right to do it.

Professor Henri Dufour has drawn up ocomparison between the reports of four European meteorological stations: —Lausanne, in Switzerland; Heidelberg and Freiburg; and Valencia, in Spain—upon the summer weather of 1903. Their data, taken independently, agree at all points. The sun’s warmth from December, 1902, to July and the first half of August, 1903, has undoubtedly been terribly below the average. ‘There is no symptom whatever,” says the professor, “of any universal cosmic change; the increase of cojd or wet is a temporary accident. We have been affected by a phenomenon which is demonstrably partial and limited in time and space.”

A smart piece of harvest work lias just been performed at Thurlby,, near Bourne, Lincolnshire. A field of nine acres of wheat having been cut with a-self-binder the horses were taken out fetched a thrashing machine into the field. The corn was thrashed next morning, a sample sent to that day’s market at Peterborough, a sajle effected, and the same night the wheat was put on rail and despatched to its destination. This is regarded as a record feat in harvesting, the corn growing in the field one day and being on the rail the next.

In southern China the air is so humid in summer that, despite the intense heat, clothes cannot be dried in the open air.

Copper money in France is to be gradually replaced this year by aluminium bronze pennies of a pale yellow colour.

The true secret of preserving the voice, says Madame Patti, is not to force it and not to sing when one ought not to.

Mr P. QBO. Currey, writing in “The Times” as secretary of the Derbyshire Archaeological Society, reports the discovery during the excavations at the B#man site at Brough, in Derbyshire, of portions of a large engraved tablet of the second century which seems to have been set up while Antoninus Pius was Emperor by a Praefect of the First Cohort of Aquitanians under Julius Verus, then Governor of Britain. * * *

Miss Agnes M. Clerk© contributes a most readable paper, and on© which gives an insight into foretime processes in stellar space, to* the current issue of “Knowledge,” in the course of which she says:—'“But whether the moon emerged from the earth as a protuberance, or was abandoned by it as an equatorial ring, it was revolving, when our theoretical acquaintance with it begins, in a period of not /lesis than two, and not. more than four, hours, quite close to the earth’s surface; while the nearly isochronous * rotation of the earth was conducted with all hut disruptive rapidity. The situation is so suggestive that it needs only a short and tolerably safe leap in the dark to reach the conclusion that the two globes had very recently been one. "With their division, at an epoch estimated to have been at least 54,000,000 years ago, the process began by which the moon was pushed back along a widening spiral course to its present position, the vanished rotational momentum of the earth croppng up again in the augmented orbital momuhtum of the moon. And the transformation is, at least in theory, still going' on.” • • • * w

The importance of dress in the scale of things that con,tribute to feminine happiness was illustrated by an incident at Liverpool a few days ago. A fashionable lady who was about to be' married ordered her bridal dress from Paris. The wedding day was fixed, guests were invited, a breakfast arranged for and other festive prepartions made'. But at the last moment the dreadful discovery was made that someone had stolen the dress. It had arrived in Liverpool in a box —a very substantial box—and some daring person in a moment of unwiatchfulness on the part of a deliveryman had carried it off. “Don’t mind about the dress —wear one of your ordinary ones,” the lady was urged, naturally enough. But the “happy event” no longer bore a happy aspect. She was inconsolable. The wedding was impossible, and had to be postponed. What the bridegroom thought is not recorded. • • • • A

Some sixty years ago a commission of the French Academy of Sciences reported, after investigation, that arsenic was not to be found in human or mammalian tissues. It is difficult to assert a, negative proposition. M. Armaud Gautier, in 1899, found arsenic in several parts of the animal economy. His results were cajled in question by Ger-

man chemists, who failed to trace the element, but several French toxicologists have repeated and corroborated AI. Gautier’s tests. Among these. M. G. Bertrand, of Paris, -maintains that arsenic exists in all animal tissues, being in fact a necessary constituent of eveiy living celjl. This may or may not be confirmed. Possibly the natural presence of the metalloid would help to explain the success which is reported to have followed in some cases the administration of arsenic for consumption. • * • # a

Small wonder nursing has become popular with the unattached female, when we occasionally hear such romantic death bed stories as the one of which Miss Maggie Love, a nurse, of Paisley, is the heroine. It appeal's that some time ago she nursed a young law student in Glasgow, named Alexander Wyn-ess, who was very ill. An affection sprang up between the couple, and the student asked the nurse to marry him. iShe agreed to do so as soon as his recovery was complete. Unfortunately the patient had a relapse, and eventually he died. But before the end he made a wjjl bequeathing to Miss Love £24,000 in money, and in estate in "Warwickshire producing au annual income of £3OOO.

Ain Irishman will always give you the answer that ho thinks you would like to have in preference to the bald truth; and the system works well enough where accuracy is not an essential part of the transaction. For instance in the following dialogue, which took place in a village store up in Donegal, plain accuracy would have been merely unpicturesque. “I want some peppermint lozenges,” said the Saxon visitor, coming straight to the point. “iSure ye do,” smiled the Irish shopman, keeping off it. “How much are they ?” pursued the Saxon, as the man did not move. “And isn’t it two ounces a penny they are?” answered the Irishman, still without moving. “Well, have you got any?” persisted his customer, impatiently. “Sure, not any at all!” said the Irishman, coming reluctantly to the point, with liis sweetest smile of all.

A series of experiments have been made by the Pacific Electric Railway Company, of Lcs Angeles, California, on the effectiveness of wind breaks in increasing the efficiency of its long distance inter-urban cars. Among the different shaped wind breaks that were tried was one which resembled the cowcajtcheiy of a locomotive, its base being on a level with the floor of the car, and tho knife-edge backbone extending upiwainJ at an angle 45 degrees to the top of the car, while the sides rounded off in a convex curve till they coincided with the sides of the car. It was found that with this shield it required but 220 horse-power to make a speed of sixty miles per hour, whereas without it 290 horse-power was necessary.

The Medical Association of Mexico will send to the St. Louis Exhibition an uncanny plant, which grows wild in the ■of 'Michoacan, and the aroma of which is said to make people lose their way and to render them unable to return to their homes until the smell ceases. A person wearing a sprig of this plant in his buttonhole will get lost in his native city.

Dwellers upon the subject of the everlasting rainfalls in Britain during August, may like (says the “Daily Telegraph”) to know •* that Khasia one of the hi 1,1 districts of the province of Assam, British India), can easily establish record rainfalls for August, and even maintain astonishing downpours for the remainder of the year. For instance, in August 1841 the number of inches of rain that fell was 264—that is, 22 feet. That veteran scientist, Sir Joseph Hooker, rebates in his ‘(Himalayan Journals” that during a stay of seven months in the Khasia :Hills upwards of 500 inches fell, so that;the annual rainfall (the deluge would • seem the term) probably greatly exceeded 50 feet. "The extraordinary amount which the cliamte affords is held to he due tot the abruptness of the .mountains which face the Bay of Bengal.

King Edward, the benevolent monarch, friend of all classes of society, son of Queen Victoria, and of that Prince whoso name is one of undying fame, is heartily welcome to our land, says the Vienna “Keues Weiner _ Tagblatt.” thing he has done since his accession hears the stamp of a magnanimous warmth of the heart that in a private person would he characterised as goodness. “ " . !

Men who use electricity require to be educated in a different way from those who use steam., and up to a. much higher point of intelligence. "T j * * • ' • ■ i :

Never again, in all human probability, shajl we see exactly the same grouping of British political parties, says the “Globe,” as that to which we have been for so long accustomed, and all, no matter what their convictions, must feel the gravity, of the period upon which we enter to-day (the close of the session.}

Anton Hanslian,* who describes hlm-

self as “the champion walker of tho world,” and who is making good hio caami to tho title by carrying out the feat of walking round the world, arrived m the course of his travels at Berwick. Hanslian is not content to do liis walking alone, but is accompanied gir lef seven or eight, whom he wheels girl of seven or eight, whom he wheels before him in a sort of three-wheeled perambulator something after the style of an invalid car. He is an Austrian, and started on his journey on 12th /September 1900, from Vienna,, since which time he states he has tramped over 19,000 miles on the Continent and in Eingland. He finds a fail’ means of substistence on the way by selling postcards bearing a picture cf himself pushing the perambulator, in which are seated his wife and child, .these being largely bought up at the various peaces through which he passes. After hia arrival in Berwick on Tuesday, Haslian had some trouble with liis machine, which bore some trace of the work ta which it has been put, but in tinkering it up, surrounded by a large crowd, lie displa.yd some mechanical skill. He speaks English fluently. After putting up for the night at Spittal, he left in the morning by the Edinburgh. Road to continue liis tour in Scotland.

Glass has at last been successfully blown by machinery, and as has generally been the case when mechanical means supersede hand methods, all feats of handblowing have been outdone. The secret of this remarkable invention is still hidden, hut specimens of the work have been shown. The cylinders are of immenso size, the largest being thirty inches in diameter and nineteen feet long. The process of blowng window glass is simple in theory but difficult in practice. On the end of a long tube a mass of molten glass is collected. This is then heated in a furnace and gradually distended by blowing into a large tube with straight sides. To accomplish this without the peculiar twisting and manpulation employed 'by the human glass blower has puzzled many clever inventors. Patents have not. been granted on certain parts of the machines, and therefore the secrecy. It is expected that the device will do away with hand blowers altogether.

The telephone girls of Stockholm (Sweden) are fighting for the liberty of kairdress. They recently all adopted the fashion set by the French dancer “Oleo de Merode,” of combing the hair over the ears. The telephone subscribers, however, complaining that the girls began to hear badly, the company has ordered a change in the girlsr coiffures, which they refuse to make. • * *

iDoes it not seen an intended piece of satire on the part of some old legal cynic of a bachelor to have given one and the same judge (in the Admiralty and Divorce Courts) the duty of deciding as to the wrecks and casualties or the fair ships which set cut on their voyages so triumphantly, and ot tne wrecks and casualties which happen on the sea of matrimony ?

Kin" 1 Christian of Denmark is perhaps the most kindly of all monarch®, and loves nothing better than to S<> among his people and help them to be happy. The home life at Copenhagen in; the Royal circle is delightfully quiet and peaceful. Whist is the favourite card game, and bridge is not looked upon with approval. The old King plays a very good hand of whist, and is a very, strict player, having but scant mercy on a less skiiiVul partner. Accessible to all bis subjects. King Christian receives most curious letters in his mail occasionally. * * *

A Jew, a doctor, a traveller, a dramatist, a poet, a novelist, a student of philosophy, and, in his outlook, something of a degenerate. Such is the Aaron of Zionism —Dr Max Nordau. He belongs by birth to Pesth, he lives in Paris, he ministers to the poor, he speaks and writes in German, he is as well known as the Rothschilds. An enthusiast where his race is concerned, his full knowledge of the sufferings of the wandering people, ahd his labours amongst the victims of poverty, have inclined him to take a gloomy view of the intellectual life of his contemporajries, because he sees how slightly it touches, or appears to touch, 0 with; ameliorating fingers the social evils of the age. *

The Rev William Mot tram, a relative of Marian Evans (George Eliot), in a series of papers that have been running for some time in the ‘(Leisure Hour,” telling what he terms the story of the Bedes of real life, hints in. the September number that Adam Bede was married to Dinah Morris at the suggestion of George Henry Lewis. He read the sheets as they came from the writer’s hand. As tthe novel was approaching its concluding chapters, his criticism was that during the earlier portion Adam stood in the foreground, but had now receded into the background of the picture, while Dinah Morris had come to the fore. In order to restore Adam to prominence as the author’s proper hero, he must needs be wedded to the getute Dinah, who had become the undoubted heroine. Acoo rdingly this wa» done*

A somewhat amusing story concerning the ex-Seoretary of State for War (Mr Brodrick) has been sent out to Melbourne by a young Australian who is now serving in the Imperial Army. It Beems that one day last month a considerable body of troops was manoeuvring on Salisbury Plains. Towards dusk the genteel and superfine Mr Brodrick ran down to the camping ground on his motor car. It was so dark that no faces could he distinguished as the War Minister rattled- by the tents of the rankers. All went well with Mr Brodrick until he some tents in a particularly shady portion of the oamp, when, with out a second’s warning, a pail full, of uncommonly dirty “slops” descended upon the Minister and his driver, drenches them both. A smothered lapjgh was heard and then all was silent. Furious at the insult, Mr Brodrick reported the matter to the commanding officer the moment he had changed liis clothes. Inquiries were made, but the culprit was never discovered. Tommy Atkins does not love Mr Brodrick.

It is said that the custom of the Pope changing Ids name on his appointment to the Papal chair was begun by Pope Sergius IV. (1009-10121, who.se real name was Boca di Porco.

The term “gallery gods” was origingiven to the spectators in the topmost gallery m Drury-lano Theatre, Whoro the ceiling immediately .above them was painted t-o represent tho skv. 4S- m. *

A locomotive engine lias expression (remarks the ‘‘Saturday Review”). and this more than anything gives it personality. Book' at an engine, and you can see at once that one looks noble, simply noble in its strength, another gigantic in force, but not noble, an expression of mere brute strength. Some engines have a lefty, almost supercilious expression, others almost foolish, borne have an air of smug stoutness, liien, there are engines that distinctly look angry, and others comparatively, gentle. Jvfost of them of any size have a more or Jess commanding expression.

I 000 J *„ Cawt - e » a compositor, born in tells in tho “Foresters’ Miscellany” how he remembers setting type for Thackeray’s “Virginians.” He has a clear recollection of composing the first two chapters of Dickens’s “Little Dorrit” from the original copy. “Wed I remember (he writes) the thick, spluttering 5 blue ink, ouill-penned manuscript. After getting over the first few lines the copy would not have been called ‘bad’ that is, from a compositor’s point of view.- It was often a matter of surprise whence Dickens obtained the names of the characters in his works, and where ‘Phiz’ captured the models for his drawings. To ns then engaged upon the works of the master in his lifetime, it was an understood thing that the prototype of the immortal Pickwick could be no other than the junior member of the firm that published Dickens’s works—Frederick Mullett Evans. There was the drawing—whether the original sketch was by ‘Phiz’ or Seymour mattered not—and there was the model in the person of Sir Evans, complete, barring the small clothes, which he never attempted.”

Among the recent registrations of companies at Somerset-house, London, is that of the following:—“Bacon Society, registered August 20, with 500 members, •each liable for £1 in the event of wind-ing-up. Objects—To encourage the study of the works and character of Francis Bacon and the study of evidence in favour of his authorship of Shakespeare’s plays, etc. The word ‘limited’ is omitted from the title by license of the Board of Trade. The management is vested in a council.”

England is going back to that lightheartedness which in pre-Puritan days, won for her the title of Merrie England. She can put on a holiday mood without the least difficulty now, and can enjoy hersejlf as jollily as she used to do in tlie times of the old May Day festivities.

iAs a reward for good conduct, the prisoners at the State Prison, Charlestown U.S., are allowed to play baseball every Saturday. They run two teams, the Resolutes and the Hustlers. Warden Budges, the governor of the prison, avers that this relaxation has had most satisfactory results, and says the games have caused improvement in dicipline.

Canon Gordon, in .the “Moreeambe Parish Magazine,” states that he once asked the Bishop of Manchester whether he often met that great and witty bishop, Bishop Stubbs. The answer was, “Yes, I met him in London last week, and he said, ‘Mooarhouse. I have just been fighting your battles.’ .Why, who has been attacking me?’ ‘Oh, someone said, “There is that' Bishop of Manchester running His head , against a stone wall again.” what, did you say?’ ‘Oh, I said, “Bo much the worse for the stone wall.’” ”

The largest carpet in the world is 40ft in breadth, and contains 68,840,000 stitches. It took the time of 28 men for 14 months. It is now at Windsor Castle.

There is a possibility of Mr Arthur Chamberlain entering the House of Commons. He is a pronounced freetrader. In Birmingham (siays “M.A.P.”) he is regarded by many people as being quite as dever as his famous brother, and in politics he stands quite by himself, borrowing none of his glory and prestige from family associations. Mr Arthur Chamberlain is the head of Kynoch’s Limited, and five other large trading concerns, and spends _his day driving between them with clockwork precision in an unpretentious hansom. He is generally clothed in a blue serge suit ctf no cut at all, and very much bagged at the knees. Though younger than tho ox-Coilonial Secretaiy, he looks much older, and disguises the strong family ,likeness witii a great grizzled moustache.

For fourteen years Clark Bussell, the novelist has been crippled with rheumatism, and has not set foot to ground, hut he is reported by “M.A.P.” to he always cheery- and ready for a joke. Mr Clark Bussell has a double in Bath —an Irish gentleman. Although tho doublo is 6ft 2in,, and Mr Bussell has never known what it is to feci tail, tho likeness is so extraordinary, when they are in their respective Ba'*li chairs, that cn one occasion charming Mrs Bussell kissed her hand to the amazed, but no doubt highly gratified, double.

Quo of tho stories told by Sir William Dos Vosux, ex-Govern or of Fiji, relates to a grog-drinking ceremony which took place in the home of Oakobau, the Fijian, when Prince Albert Victor and Prince George (.now Prince of Wales) toured tho world as midshipmen in the Bacchante in 1881. At a native reception at Nasoya grog had to be drunk by tho visitors as a matter of course. This g ro ,g — a fine and wholesome drink, by the way • (says ‘ tf M.A.P.’') —tastes 1 ike soapsuds to the beginner. Prince Albert Victor preserved has decorous gravity, although obviously with some trouble. When it came to Prince George’s turn ho was equally decorous at the moment, but when the bowlbearer got past him he made a boyish grimace of disgust, which nearly caused a, serious explosion of laughter in his immediate neighbourhood. It was a serious thing to laugh when grog was being drunk under the king’s eye_ m Fiji "and Prince -George’s neighbours on the ’Royal mat had a narrow escape.

It is not the poor, hut the well-to-do 'who behave in the most cruel and heartless way to doctors, writes a ‘‘Doctor’s Sister” in ‘-'The Standard.” Allow me give one or two truthful accounts. Oase 1. —Young man, one of a party who have spent the day in carousing on whiskey and champagne, shows symptoms of syncope from alcoholic poisoning. Doctor fetched from a meal, spends three and a half hours applying remedies and in taking him in a cab to the nearest town, where he can he nursed. Bill sent, one guinea for saving tho life of a well-to-do man. Case 2.—01 d lady with comfortable annuity, suffering from senile dementia relatives paid to look after her. Nephew living in well-known in the fashionable world of London. Doctor pulls her through long illness of four months, sends his hill of £5, only to be utterly ignored. I could add many more oases, hut space forbids. .* , * * ■» * •

Dr Hubert Lyman Clark, an instructor in biology in the United States, is advocating snakes as table food. When properly prepared, the Professor declares, roasted, fried, or toasted snakes combine the flavour of frogs 5 legs with the delicacy of the chicken. When served on toast they are particularly appetising morsels. ‘Recently he invited a large number of hi 3 college students to his house, and at supper the guests were served with dainty little sandwiches. The meat in these sandwiches resembled chicken. Bach of the students ate several, and pronounced them delicious. Next morning, in college, the Professor, amazed the students by informing them that the sandwiches which they had so heartily enjoyed were made of the meat of snakes. None of the students, he pointed out, was suffering the least inconvenience from the strange and supposed poisonous dish.

At the Halifax Police Court last month, Frederick Ramsden Riley (38), pleaded guilty to a charge under the Prevention of Crimes Act of getting his living by dishonest means. Chief Constable Richardson said in April last the prisoner advertised in daily papers: —'“Matrimony. Gentleman in good position wishes correspondence with domesticated lady. Means not necessary, but honourable. 55 A lady at Southampton he had duped and robbed of <635. • The prisoner had duped, another victim of £6O, another of £SO, and 20 others of smaller sums. He had represented himself as a millionaire. Sentence—Twelve months’ imprisonment.

A good story is told in the newly published ‘Life of Lord Dufferin.” One day when he was Governor-General of Canada the Countess was to be “at home” to receive visitors, so she and Lady Harriet Fletcher sat in state; hut no» body camel At 6 o’clock Lord Dufferin

came home, and his wife remarked that not a single soul had called to see them. The servant was questioned, and it turned out he had replied “not at home” to every caller. The visitors’ book revealed the fact that the callers were 104 in number, so Lady Dufferm promptly sat down and wrote 104 letters of explanation and apology. * * * * o

There is a good story told of a golfer. He was playing when he noticed the ragged condition of his caddie. Bather touched by this he gave the hoy something to get some food with, and promised him a suit of clothes. Later, hearing about a dependent mother he dispatched a load -of coal and a round o f beef. Tho lad was very grateful indeed for all this kindness., and with his eyes brimming with tears, ho tried to say something befitting the occasion. “Please, sir——” he began., and then he halted. “Oh, that’s 0,1 l right, my boy,” said the benefactor, cheerily, “say nothing: bo a good lad, that’s all.” Then the caddie could no longer restrain himself. The kindly thought which lay at the bottom of his heart broke through. “Please sir,” ho cried. “I’m sorry you’re such a bad player!”

A former editor of “The St. Louis Globe Democrat,” Mr Joseph McCullagli, was annoyed by a member of the staff who was continually late. This young man arrived from half an hour to an hour and a half after reporting time each day, but lie always had a.n excuse. He overslept, or they failed to call him, or the cars were blocked or something cf the kind happened. Finally, McCullagh issued an order that no more excuses would be accepted, and that unless the young man came in on time ho was to be discharged. 0-n the very next .day the loiterer was tardy again by 45 minutes. Ho was sent to Mr iMoCuilagh. “Well,” said McCullagh, “you know what’s going to happen to you.” “I suppose so,” the young man replied, “but I assure you, Mr McCullagh, it wasn’t my fault.” “You’ve put in about every possible excuse,” said McCullagh, “but before I fire you I would like to knew, just fo-r curiosity what your excuse is.” “It was just this way,” said the young man ; “I got up early, determined to get to the office in time. I went into a negro barber shop to bo shaved. When the barber was half through a band came along and he.couldn’t resist the impulse to follow it. It was almost an. hour before lie came back, and I had to wait for him.” McCullagh chuckled. “Yeung man, ' be said, “I’ll give you another chance. I want you to write fiction for the Sunday paper.” * • * * * «*

This is an eighteeth century recipe for low spirits:—Take loz of the seeds of resolution, properly mixed with the oil of good conscience, infuse it into a large spoonful of the salts of patience; distil very carefully a composing 'plant called others’ woes, which you will find in every part of the garden of life, growing under the broad leaves of guise; add a smaji quantity, and it will greatly assist the salts' of patience in their operations; gather a handful of the blossoms of hope, then sweeten them properly with the balm of prudence, and if you can get any of the seeds of true friendship you will then have the most palatable medicine that can bo administered. But you must be careful to get some of the seeds of true friendship, as there is a weed very much like it called self-interest, which will spoil the whole composition. Make the ingredients into pills, which call pills of comfort, take one night and morning, and in a short time a cure will be effected.

The reception given by the Viennese to King Edward (says the “(Standard’ 5 correspondent) was simply magnificent. The cheering began the moment the two monarchs appeared on the Albhanplatz, and it lasted uninterruptedly to the Hofburg. Handkerchiefs and hats were waved, not only from baloncies and windows, but also in the crowd; and as my carriage passed by I heard an old lady say loudly, “Ein fesoher kerl, dieser Hussaren Konig 55 —“ A smart fellow this Hussar King. 55 This was, indeed, the opinion of the masses, who love the Hussars, and were charmed by the King’s smiling face and the gracious way in which he acknowledged the greeting of the crowds. An official with whom I afterwards spoke was the more astonished at the reception, Since the antiSemitic and pan-German papers, as well as the Social Demiocratio organ, had tried to dissuade their readers from taking part in. it. The King was obviously highly pleased.

A ibanquet at the Austrian Court is usually a very quiet affair (says the “Standard” correspondent). The dishes are served in quick succession, and conversation is confined to that part of the table at which monarchy, archdukes, and archduchesses sit. But the banquet of August 31 had a sensation in the shape of King Edward’s announcement that he nominated the Emperor a fieldmarshal. In proposing the King’s health, the first toast, the Emperor read from a paper in German. In reply, King Edward spoke without notes, and also in German, but slowly, and with a

slight foreign accent. The words ich euro Majestat zum feldmairschall” (I appoint Your Majesty a fidd-marsal) were delivered by King Edward with much emphasis, and made a great impression. The Emperor thanked him, and the two monarchs touched glasses. This was the culminating point of the banquet, which began at a quarter to 8, and lasted an hour, 4 •

• m ■ m At the funeral of the Marquis of Salisbury, who was buried in the private grounds of the Ceres at Hatfield, the t ? only flowers placed on the coffin ware crosses from the King and Queen. The cross from His Majesty was composed of lilies of the val,ley, ' steplianotis, orcliids, gardenia, and other flowers, and # boro the inscription:—“As a mark of deepest; i-egard, greatest respect, and sincere friendship, from His Majesty the K mo.-* The Queen’s token was of similar flowers, with the addition of >• odonto-glossum and Alexandra orchids, and on a card was the following:—“To the memory of Lord Salisbury, universally loved and mourned as one of England's best and greatest statesmen* from Alexandra. “Wo think at first that home is heaved We learn at last that heaven is} home.”

The procession passed through the Quean’s garden—the favourite haunt of Elizabeth —along a stately avenue of limes, whose arched boughs mado an arcade of vivid green. It next went by the mulberry trees that were planted by James I.