HATRED WHICH ENDS IN MATRIMONY

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1628, 13 May 1903, Page 25

HATRED WHICH ENDS IN MATRIMONY

WHEN HATING IN HASTE MEANS LOVING AT LEISURE.

It is the dictum of the celebrated Mrs Malaprop that it is best to begin with a little aversion, and though it is very pleasant to believe that Edwin and Angelina fall in love at first sight, marry immediately and live happily ever after, it is not by any means a frequent occurrence in "real life. Nor'indeed is such a rapid ‘ courtship likely to lead to a happy married life. There is a good deal of truth in the proverb, “Marry in haste and repent at leisure.”

Edwin meets Angelina at a. ball or at the seaside, or on some other occasion where her charms are displayed to the best advantage. “Her temper and spirits are naturally at their best, and she is disposed to exhibit all her good qualities and be as attractive as possible.

Edwin falls in love, Angelina reciprocates, and all is on velvet. Being in love, both Angelina and Edwin are on their very best behaviour, and, without any intention to deceive, each exhibits himself and herself in a totally false light. Sometimes a. hasty marriage follows a, very brief engagement,- during which neither has any opportunity to discover the other’s real character, and then there is nothing to be done but to repent at leisure. Often tho violent fancy subsides before any engagement lias been entered into, and then, the glamour having faded, each finds out how mistaken their estimate of each •other has been.

Edwin is disillusioned. Angelina is just- as charming as ever, but she charms him no more. She does not gain on him. All her goods, so to speak, were in the window, and he finds there is - very little in her. Or, perhaps, now that their fancy for each other has died out, Angelina lets herself go-, and' Edwin finds out that the sweet blue eyes can flash angrily, the pretty lips speak bitter words, the goldenrhead is full of vanity and frivolity.

Angelina, for her part, discovers that, devoted as Edwin showed himself to- her while his fancy lasted, and courteous to all around, now, when he is no longer bent on pleasing, be can be rude in manner to his sister, disobliging to his mother, ill-tempered to bis young brothers.

Marie Woodruff is a very sweet girl, like a Dresden china shepherdess, but though she has had countless admirers, she has never married, and most- probably never will. She is a perfectly amiable, good-tempered, very pretty girl, but there is nothing in her. Men fall violently in love with lier at first sight, and fall out of love at second or third sight. . . Then there is Daisy Leigh, who is quite as pretty, and quite as likely to become an old maid. She is a pretty, baby thing with great, innocent, dark eye®, and a .cherub face. Her manners are absolutely fascinating, and she is just the girl men fall in love with at first sight.

But a very short acquaintance suffices to open their eyes. Daisy is that detestable character, a spiteful girl. She never has a good word to say of any other girl, and her rosy mouth drops ill-natured remarks and nasty speeches, like the toads and serpents that fell from the mouth- of the girl in the old fairy tale. There are many instances in real life where the lovers began with, not a little, but very great aversion. When Mrs Lewis observed-Lord Beaconsfield (then Disraeli) approaching

her house, and hastily ordered her servant to tell that “horrid mail” that she was not at home, she little thought that tho horrid man would one'day be her husband, and that the deep aversion she then felt for him would change to equally deep affection. In fiction, too, we sometimes meet with such cases. In Mbs Broughton’s -'Second Thoughts,” the. lovers begin with such decided aversion that Gillian, tho heroine, plainly tolls the hero her very low opinion of him, while tho hero very frankly declares ho would rather be flayed alive than marry her. Miss Austen, a close observer of human nature, , has several instances of the same kind. In “Pride and Prejudice,” Mr Darcy, and Elizabeth hate each other so intensely when they first meet that they have the greatest difficulty in afterwards convincing tiieir relatives and friends that their mutual aversion has changed to love and that they intend to marry. - In “Emma,” the hero, Mr Knightley, tells Emma that his mind was so constantly dwelling on her faults that she was always in his thoughts until he came to> love her.

There is a great deal of truth in this. When a girl is continually abusing a man for his boorish ways, his stupidity, his bad dancing, her mind is really full of him, and she grows interested in him.

When she finds out, as she frequently does, that the rough manner covers a warm heart, that the awkward fellow is tenderly careful of his mother, considerate to his sisters, strictly honourable in all his dealings, her aversion fades gradually away until she is far more truly in love than if she had begun by taking a violent fancy to him.