THE SNOW MAN

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1626, 29 April 1903, Page 6

THE SNOW MAN

(By A. B. Cooper.)

I’vo dabble reason —good and bad—for remembering tho Christmas of 189 —, because, while it was the most humiliating day of my life, it ended my career as a swell cracksman, and was the commencement of my better days. I’d long had my eye on the Wharton manor as a crib worth the cracking, and as I never was the mere midnight marauder who is popularly supposed to lurk under the bed until the family is asleep, I thought’ the dinner-hour on Christmas Eve a favourable opportunity for taking my pick of the jewel cases of Lord Wharton’s guests, and for annexing the unconsidered trifles that doubtless strewed their dressing tables. I did not forget that some of the most valuable articles would at that moment be enhancing the charms of their fair owners!, but, as I always worked single-handed and conidi not hope to cany away a van-load I reckoned upon picking up sufficient to pay me handsomely for my trouble. Audacity is half the trouble in artistio burglary. I always trusted to my wits, and—l will say this for myself—l never carried a weapon of any kind. I t-ook the fortunes of war and considered that, if I were dolt enough to walk into a trap or let another man’s wits outwit mine, I ought to yield him the palm like a gentleman. And it was the fact that things panned out so differently from anything I could have foreseen —but that’s the end of the story, and we are still at the beginning. Christmas, 189—, was the snowiest in my memory. It was a real Christ-mas-card Christmas, and as I stood in tho deep shadow of a yew within forty yards of the manor the scene pleased my artistio eye not a little. The great hall door was wide open in spite of th© severity of the weather, for it was a still night, and a flood of rosy light from the crimson-covered lamps and fairy lights streamed out upon the drive. Low lights, too, burned in most of the upper windows, but as the whole house party was at dinner they revealed no sign of life within. The drive swept round to my right as I faced the house. Having studied the geography of the neighbourhood, I knew Avhere it was, certainly, or I should have had difficulty in locating it. A line of yew trees, similar to the one behind which I stood, was planted at intervals along the near edge of tho drive, and the opposite side was bounded by a broad stone balustrade, something like the parapet of Waterloo Bridge, though not nearly so high.

This stone fence was a beautiful ornament to the manor and was admired by everybody, but, strangely enough, it was for use even more than ornament. The manor stood high, and the ground to the right fell away very suddenly into a deep dingle. This dingle was full of bracken aud brambles which filled the Spaces between the young trees, but the rock cropped out here and there and made it a dangerous place on a dark night. That was the reason of the stone balustrade. Farther down the drive tlie ravine shallowed off, and winding paths went in and out, which made it a very jolly place in the summer. When first I took my position of observation behind the yew' I got a fright. Casting my eyes towards the balustrade, I saw wliat I thought was a man looking directly at me. It was the hat that made the figure appear so real, yet I could have laughed aloud at my fears the next minute. It was a man indeed, but it was a man of show, built on the coping of the balustrade in .imitation of a statue. The house was full of young fellows and girls, with a fair sprinkling of small hoys—Lord Wharton had no fewer than six of his own; and they had spent the morning —all the lot of them—setting up this effigy, just for the fun of the thing. This figure could not be seen from the front door because the sweep of the drive brought the yews into lhe lino of sight. From where I stood, however, I could have knocked his old silk hat off with a snowball, and. such are the mad impulses of cur poor human nature, I could have found it in my heart almost to have had a shy. Of course I did no such * .'ling, for I could see by the dishes the flunkeys were carrying in that dinner was getting on, and that I was much later at my post than I had intended to be. I must bestir myself if I meant business. Business! Yes —it was my business then I’m sorry to and no easy business either. Yet I knew exactly .what I was going to attempt and how I meant to attempt it. There was nothing original in the plan. Ivy and an open window summed it up. The back of the house would doubtless have been safer, but then my booty was in front, and at such an hour it would have been ten times more risky to traverse the house from back to front than to go boldly in at an upper front window. Behold me, then, ten minutes later, stealthily peering into a dimly-lifriitpcl room most luxuriously furnished. i

bad experienced more difficulty than usual —for I was as nimble as a cat—in negotiating the ivy, because I wore a long, lightish-coloured overcoat, made necessary by my tendency to rheumatism. Only a couple of candles served to light the room, hut I could see the gleam of jewels and rich ornaments on the dressing-table, half hidden by a heavy curtain which hung from a sort of carved oaken bracket branching from the wall. I stepped inside upon the thick pile of the carpet and stole noiselessly towards the glittering table. The next moment you might hav.o knocked me down with a feather. Behind the curtain quickly pocketing tho smallest and most valuable objects be could see, was a man in evening dress—a big man, half as big again as myself, but Avith “gentleman’s valet” Avritten all over him. We Avero not four feet apart, and the gasp of astonishment I gave Avas enough to make him nearly jump out of his skin. His dismay was only momentary. He knew the next instant Avhat I ay as there for, and' AA'as evidently as quiek-Avitted as I, for, before I could say “peas,” ho had darted between the Avail and the curtain, banged the Avindow into its place, and yelled “Thieves! thieves! thieves”—a timer plural than any one imagined—at the very top of his voice. For tho AA'ink of an eyelid I meant to tackle him, but what was the use ? Moments Avere mighty precious just then, and even Avhil© he Avas shouting —the sly wretch- —I turned and 1 bolted for the door, intending to make a dash through the camp of tho enemy, and trust to my heels to get clear aAvay. As bad luck Avouid have it, as I turned th© bend of the stairs that brought me in full view of the bril-lyinatly-lighted hall I ran full tilt against a big flunkey with a tray of AA’ineglasses. Talk about a shindy ! A gas explosion Avouid scarcely have made more noise. Broken glass, clattering tray, and the bumpety-bump of two heavy bodies falling down stairs?, Avas something to remember. I fell uppermost-, and giving myself a bounce wr>, Avith a prod beloAY tlie belt that knocked the remaining wind out of the footman, I made for the door again as if a legion had been behind me. Nor AA'as it mere fancy, for in truth a legion AA'as behind me. The valet’s big voice must ha\ r o penetrated to the dining-room, and the tremendous clatter of the footman and my luckless self caused by the doAvnfall brought the party out like a SAvarm of bees. “Thieves!” came like a thunderclap from the top of th© stairs. The valet AA'as playing the game to perfection. 1 had thirty yards start, but I kneAV that among the guests Avouid be many a young athlete from the ’Varsities —men aa'lio could do their hundred in even time —socker and rugger men Avho Avere accustomed to rough and tumble —so my chances of getting clear aAvay were none too rosy. Besides, the Avhole party Avere lighter shod and clad than I, and 1 knoAV that these young felloAvs, though in no rig for suoav, Avouid not care a straw about ruining their dress shoes. I got round the sAveep of the drive and AA’as in the straight. It Avas three hundred yards to the great gate, and 1 cover, except the yews, ay as scarce. A g]eam of lanterns ahead deceived me. My AA’ay AA'as blocked. Meanwhile my wits had been A'vorking at express speed. It AA'as snoAA'ing again in heavy flakes. I purposely fell headlong into the snoAv piled on tlie edge of the drive, rolled over and over, and clutched an armful of it to my body and shoulders. I then scrambled up, leapt upon the stone balustrade, snatched! the old silk hat—all snow-covered —from the bead of th© snow man, gave that unfortunate effigy a shove that- toppled it neck and crop into the depths of the dingle, and myself dropped upon my knees on the top cf the snowy foundation it had left behind it. It AA'as the Avork of five seconds at the most, and there Avas I, Avith the snow-covered hat over my eyes, my overcoat thickly caked! with. suoav and my legs wholly invisible, posing in the room and stead of the man of snow. The hue and cry went past me like a Avhirltviud, half-a-dozen flunkeys in their knee-breeches and yelloiv stockings bringing up the rear. They ran full speed, thirty yards past my post of observation, into a band of AA'aits, AA'itli lanterns and instruments* from th© village. These yokels Avere ready to turn and fly themselves Avhen they sa-AV the strange exodus from th© Manor, thinking, no doubt, that all the ghosts of ay Inch the old house Avas Avell known to be the trysting-place had suddenly appeared —not in singles but in battalions an d scared the guests aAvay from their dinner and out of their five senses. But the sudden halt didn’t help me in the least. The dilemma Avas distinctly mutual, and I did not bless tlie Avails one little bit-. Had the thief gone doAvn the drive they would surely have seen him. It was a perfect mystery how he could possibly have dodged them Ho had been seen in full flight round the bend. He must either have o-one over into t-lio dingle—a most unlikely course if he kneAV what he Avas doing or be was hiding behind the rews Then commenced a game of hide and

seek. I nearly burst Avith laughter as I saAV this mixed company dodge in and out among the sombre trees and catch at each other convulsively, each thinking the other a burglar. But there was no opportune opening for me. All I could do Avas to kneel stock still. One of the Avaiits pointed me out. His attitude showed terror though I could not see his face. The laugh that greeted this “find” sent him behind a yeAV tree on a fresh trail and very greatly reassured me. I evidently looked my part. Just then there was another arrival —the local policeman and a big man in plain clothes Avho-m I guessed Avas a ’tec. Lord Wharton and some of the guests were in a group near me Avhen they came along, and I heard the Avhole colloquy. Their arrival at that moment AA'as quite unconnected Avith my affair, but it seemed to fit into the circumstances as detailed by his lordship in a feAv sentences.

I heard th© ’tec say: “Here's a very old hand, known commonly as Toff’ Smith, but bis real name is Charles Markland. He’s Avanted for a dozen big jobs, and I’ve bad almost certain advice that he’s somewhere in this neighbourhood.” “It’ll he he,” said his lordship, “but he has been baulked this time. Lieutenant Fontenoy’s Amlet Avas too quick for him. Ho has got aAvay in the most amazing fashion, but it’s a comfort to knoAV that he has gone empty-handed.

I’d beard of “Toff” Smite. He AA'as one of the big-wigs of the profession—a perfect Napoleon of burglary—but it goes without saying I Avas not he. So I AA'as now not only personating a siioav man but involuntarily standing in the shoes of “Toff” Smith as Avell.

-an Suiqq G]oq.YY ©qq psdoCu© peq oq.u ‘sjeqsSutimC oqq p L u pun ‘eqocTs oxpvv queuaqnein; sway qi possenS T c{ ' ino e.qeAY opqAY q.rtq u OAt?q sn qeq; •tad e dn qoid oq eunq ©Awq aou pip oq sui spaq saurnp j jaqq.xuj afqn-o.xq Aip\\„ •poT.to afro f( jH?Avn jeo.o qoS K«Tq ; . _ monscly, set up ai shout, for he had evidently suggested something. “Cock-shiesl Pay yer penny and take yer chance! Noav, then, fair aiic square! No. don’t cross the drive. V/ho’ll knock his hat off first ? Take yer chice — coker-nut or cigar! Im frozen to death ! It’ll AA’arni us up ! These Avere’the cries I heard, but I didn’t at the first blush tumble to their meaming. The ladies, (clad in thick Avraps, AA'ere at the AA'indoAA's all this time, AA’hero they could look along the drive, and get ugavs of the search. Noav I heard them laugh merrily as a small boy ran across and made some communication to 1 them. I quickly learned AA’hat it AA'as. They were to AA’ituess a bombardment-. The ay hole band, guests and Avaits — the police had hurried off — Avere gathered together about twenty yards from w lie re I knelt, and at the Avord of command they let fly. - I have enjoyed snow-balling in my time, but that Avas Avhen I had a chance of potting my opponent in the nape of tlie neck AA'hen he Avas stooping for ammunition. But to be the sole target foil thirty Avell-idirected 1 missiles per second is another story. Moa I dared not. I must grin and bear it, or failing that, bear it Avitkout grinning. I bad jammed th© beastly old bat”too tightly over my cranium for it to be easily dislodged, and the fun in consequence Ayaxed fast and furious. By degrees discipline broke doAvn, and the set distance Avas no longer regarded. SnoAvballs innumerable came at me from a range of a feAV yards with terrific force. Recognition Avas quickly put out of the question, for bad I been a veritable snow man I could not have looked more like one. Eveiy snoAVball that hit—and feAv, indeed, missed —left its contribution to my make-up, and I Avas shortly in peril of suffocation from the accumulation of snoAv about my mouth and nostrils, and almost equally in danger of temporary blindness, but that th© hat-rim protected me enough, at least, to keep half an eye intact. Had not tho top of the wall been broad, and I on my my knees, I must inevitably have gone over willy-nilly; but hitherto I had kept my place f and

I meant to continue to do so, for th 9 fall backwards had greater terrors for mo even than remaining Avhere I Avas. But now tho slapping of fair hands, the exhilarating exercise, tho excitement of tho last twenty minutes, and the spirit of mad revel Avhich enters into th© hearts of all men occasionally Avrought my doom. The waits, as had been pressed into the fray. It was Christmas time, and class distinctions Avent by the board. Even the man Avho played the big bass * A'iol had propped ills instrument against a tree and joined in the sport. But now like mo, they Avere to be sorry they had come. Half-a-dozen young sparks, to A-ary the amusement, seized the big brass fiddle, and th© youngsters fought for clarionet, hautboy, o-phicleide, euphonium, and trombo-ne. Then, to- tlie sound of a wi 1 d unearthly pibroch, they levelled the bass fiddle like a batteringram and charged few the supposed snow man Avith shouts of laughter, thinking to demolish it finally and end the sport. I saiv it coming, and I knew that tho bottom end. of a bass fiddle lias an ugly spike Avhich might put- an end to my career more surely than the dingle; I never Avaited for the shock. I Avent down AA’ithout a touch, and, rolling o\-er and OA 7 er doAvn the steep bank, I only remember thinking I should neA r er stop, and —then —nothing ! How I got to Everledge—a small toAvn fivo miles aAvay—l never rightly kneAA 7 . I came to myself in the dingle, Avliile it aaus still dark, with pains in every limb. The nurse at the Cottage Hospital*—bless her-—tells me that I Avas picked up in an apparently dying state, and e\’erybody sympathised Avith my being lost in the siioaa'. I never told her tho truth- —lioav could I AA'hen she Avas so kind and good!—hut if she had guessed Avhy I Avas so> interested in tho district Aveekiy paper she might have suspected something. Hero is the conclusion of the paragraph Avhich took my eye:—“This is one of tho most cunning robberies on record. The detectives think that the Avhole affair Avas a put-up job on the part c.f ‘Toff’ Smith- —Lieutenant Fontenoy’s valet —Avho left a most impudent note behind him, for Avliile ill© party AA'ere all deporting themselves Avith the siioav man, or applauding from the AvindoAvs, he got clear away with three thousand pounds’ worth of ieAvellery.”—“Strand.”