WHEN IS A GIRL AN OLD MAID?

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1612, 21 January 1903, Page 4

WHEN IS A GIRL AN OLD MAID?

(By Madge Morris.)

What is an old maid? You cannot quite say, but you know when you see one. Strictly speaking, it is a woman, who is no longer marriageable* As to when she enters this stage depends) on the Avoman herself. Some women have passed their zenith Bt twenty-four-—others never pass it. All depends on the girl and how she has conceived and arranged her life. ~ „ Let us first look at the old maid of twenty-four—perhaps the most to be pitie-d of all human beings—and often tot* least to be sympathised with. I know an old maid of twenty-four. At fifteen she developed into one of the handsomest girls imaginable, and knew it. The immediate result was that she began to flirt with boys at a very early age. Her- whole idea of life turned on making conquests. She succeeded enormously, conquering , wherever she went. Bv the time she was eighteen, she was a- beauty, and a mistress of flirtation and intrigue-. Engagement with on© man followed engagement with another. She took nobody seriously. No other girl had a chance when she was near, as her charm and cleverness were irresistible. I lost sight of her for six years, and knew nothing of her career. When I met her recently she was as complete an old maid as any woman could be. The charm of her youth had faded, lines had made their appearance in her face, her complexion and eyes had lost their lustre. She was, in short, a downright old maid. Why? Because she had placed far too much reliance on her beauty in early youth, had allowed herself to look on all .inen as willing slaves, had taken. nobody seriously, and regarded no man’s heart as other than a plaything. Consequently, no engagement ever developed into marriage.

She brooded over her declining beauty, and, having given over her whole life to frivolity, had no other resource m life to distract her attention. She has grown soured and shrewish, and, though she may yet succeed in winning someone’s heart, I have my grave doubts, for “old maid’’’ is stamped all over her. Now, let us look at the girl who does not become an old maid, even if she remains unmarried at the age of thirty.. At that age she is able to command men s

admiration as firmly as -any girl of eighteen. At fifteen she was not a beauty, and knew it. Having nothing to be vain about,

she did not set herself to make ‘‘conquests/- ’ She cultivated character. She sought to attract people by charm of manner, made herself, say, an accomplished singer or instrumentalist, read the best books and developed ideas on the great things of life. She thought of her life as a whole, not as beginning at eighteen and ending lvith marriage. When she is twenty-four, everything is as roseate a© it was at eighteen. She has learnt to know life as it is, not as it appears through the perverted eyes of beauty. There is nothing “old maidish - ” in her manner. Not. having continuously sought the admiration of men, when she has gained it, it has been with the pleasure of a surprise. If no proposal has come to her at twenty-four, sh e has taken it philosophically. c After all, she reasons, why worry ? She will work. She is a good cook and housekeeper, and takes an interest in what she does. She plays or sings well, and likes the beautiful in life. The result is a happy expression of countenance, a bright outlook in life, and, if the first bloom of youth ha© passed, its exuberance has only been transferred. She is not an old maid at thirty, but simply a woman in her prime. She has not lost with year®, but gained. What has left her in looks she has made up for m character.

A girl is an old maid when she allows herself to be. Just as some people fall victims to any epidemic sooner than others, so some girls become old maids while other© escape. Old maidbood, like fever, is a thing which seizes those who are too weak to resist it. Who are the most likely victims ? Certainly, one is the girl who has been too much a girl, and too little a woman. Binding girlhood a very attractive state at eighteen she has always «lung to it desperately until fading looks force her to see that it, has flown from her. Then follows disappointment. The woman who resists old maidhood is she who has only regarded girlhood as a pleasant prelude to a bigger phase of life. Her zenith is to be womanhood. At eighteen she has only just entered into the contest, at twenty-four she is getting into the thick of it. It must be many years before she can possibly pass the meridian of female life, so thjrty, and even later, finds her at her height, not like the other, many years gone in decline. Why does a man not care, generally, when he finds himself passing the height

of youth? Because he has gained in experience and knowledge, has seen the folly of youthful dreams* learns to see ife as it is. Youth gives way to manhood, a-nd, in that state, he is content to flourish.

To avoid the stigma of “old maid/" a woman must fix her eyes on the thing© that matter in life. She must not allow the knowledge of passing youth to sour her. She must not allow her youth to pass, but must vigorously fight the touch of that arch-cynic, Father Time, and try to shine in the sphere of womanhood.