WITTY RETORTS OF POLITICIANS.

New Zealand Mail, 21 February 1901, Page 13

WITTY RETORTS OF POLITICIANS.

THE HUMOUR OF WELLINGTON. We do not know that politicians are, as a, body, particularly witty; but Mr E. J. Moyle, in the December “Chambers’s Journal,” recalls some amusing 'examples of repartee on their part. The Duke of Wellington was not deficient in the art. Many will remember his crushing reply to the Austrian Princess who asked him how he accounted for the fact that the Viennese spoke French far better than ?iie English. “Madam,” said his Grace, “if Napoleon had twice visited London with his armies as he has Vienna, we should doubtless be much more familiar with the French language.” More stinging was the Duke’s retort when Louis Philippe introduced to him one of the French marshals he had defeated in the Peninsula, and who, with a lack of manners strangely foreign to his nation, turned his back on his old enemy during the presentation. The King apologised. “Forgive him, sire!” exclaimed the Iron Duke with a laugh. “Why, it was I who taught him to do that in the Peninsula.”

Sometimes a. political candidate has been able to use to great advantage his power of repartee. Charles Burleigh, the Abolitionist, in the midst of an antiSlavery speech, was struck lull in the face by a rotten egg. “There’s a proof” he said, as he calmly wiped his face with his handerkerehief, “a proof of what I have always,maintained, that pro-slavery arguments are very unsound.’’ The crowd laughed heartily, and Burleigh was allowed to speak without further molestation. A similar incident occurred at a political meeting in the West of England, but on this occasion it was a cabbage which found its way to the platform. The orator retorted that some of his flattering supporters had declared him' to' be a powerful speaker, but he little thought that any of his hearers would ever lose their heads over him! A candidate for a rural constituency who appeared very nervous was requested by an elector at the hack of the room to speak up. “Speak up!” he retorted in a voice which filled the building and surprised all present. “I should have thought that the ears of the gentleman who interrupted were long enough to hear me even at that distance.” This reference to the ass recalls a New Zealand story. One of the candidates, a pronounced Scotsman, at an election there had received a present of a huge thistle which at the moment happened to be lying on the table of his commit-tee-room. Someone suddenly entering at once withdrew with the remark, “I beg your pardon; I didn’t know you were at lunch!”

Mr Bennet Burleigh, the war correspondent-, was in 3885 Radical candidate for the Govaii Division of Lanarkshire. He was subjected to much heckling, but he more than held his own, to the great delight of his supporters. At a meeting of the workers in the shipyard of the late Sir William Pearce, the Conservative Candidate, one of the men, a Liberal, wanted to know why Air Burleigh, if he were an honest radical, wrote for the “Daily Telegraph.” “Just for the same reason,” replied Burleigh, “as you, another honest Radical, work in th<£ yard of a Conservative shipbuilder.” The heckler collapsed, amidst roars of laughter.

. When the late Lord Chief-Justice was contesting South Hackney, a constituent, in the course of his canvass, asked Sir Charles what the penalty was for bigamy. “Two mothers-in-law,” retorted the famous lawyer. A candidate for an agricultural constituency, noticing one of the electors ploughing, approached him and said, “That seems to be very light soil. What crops do you grow on it?” “Depends very much on the kind O' 5 seeds we puts in,” replied Agricola,. dryly. Sometimes a. telling retort comes from a crowd. At an open-air political meeting in the North of England a man cried, “Hurrah for Jackson !” to which a bystander replied, sarcastically, “Hurrah for a Jackass!” “All right, my friend!” exclaimed the first speaker, “you can hurrah for your candidate, and I’ll do the same for mine.”