SOME GOOD STORIES.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1510, 7 February 1901, Page 59

SOME GOOD STORIES.

NOVEL TRAP FOR A SNAKE.

A lady in Durban, India, on getting up one morning, heard a most peculiar noise in the pantry. -She was astomsned to find that a snake had its head and part or its body through the handle of a china jug. Both sides of the snake that is .the portion on each side of the handle —were bulging ont. Then sue discerned what had happened. Some eggs had been lying on the shelf, and the snake, having swallowed one, na:l crawled partly through the handle of the jus—that is, as far as the swanowed egg would allow —in order to get at another, which it had also swallowed. Naturally enough, it could not then go either forward or backward through the handle. The lady was just going to call her husband when the reptile a desperate wriggle and in doing so fell on to the floor with a bang, handle anu all. But the fall broke both the eggs m its inside, and taking advantage of its 1 release from the handle, it was out in the garden before you could say ‘Ware i”

TWO FAMOUS HYMNS.

Unless it be a cry cf the soul, or a touching and melodious rendering of a universal longing, a hymn is hardly likely to fulfil any purpose whatever ; and it is precisely those that have been called forth by some real need, or some pressing occasion, which have moat surely and swiftly struck the right note. There is no better instance of this than Mr Baring-Gould’s f ‘ Onward, Christian Soldiers,” which someone lias called, by no means inaptly, ‘'the battle-cr y of the Church Militant.” In its way, and for its purnose, the song is perfect; but >ts final martial soirjt is greatly helped by the late Sir Arthur Sullivan’s stirring setting. : It was written for an open-air procession, and was meant to be sung to an old Gregorian tune; and much of its success is owing to its having been prepared “ad hoc,” and more or less on the spur of the moment. Everybody knows the story of how Reginald Heber wrote; “From Greenland’s Icy Mountains,” still the most popular and appropriate; of missionary hymns. His latner-in-law, Shipley, Dean of St. Asaph, asked him to “write something for tiiem to sing in the morning,” when a sermon was to be preached in the Wrexham Church in aid of the Asiatic work of the Society for Propagating the Gospel, and in an hour or two he obeyed the call, writing! in the corner of a room where people were talking.—“ Academy.”

A STORY OF PROFESSOR HUXLEY

Recently I Heard two stories of the late Professor Huxley, which are too good to be allowed to pass readily into the limbo reserved for the wit tv sayings and incidents connected with the lives of great men. Huxley had been lecturing at a certain institution which shall be nameless, but which, I may say, is generally esteemer to represent the focus of a certain kind of metropolitan culture. Among the audiences which attend the prelections at this centre of thought

there appears a certain fashionable e cment, which dining late —tne lecture hour is proportionately delayed—is said to enjoy a sound after-dinner repose during the delivery of the evening discourses. Huxley had been lecturing on the brain, and at the close of his remarks the usual fussy lady, who likes at least to stamp discourses she cannot understand with the imprimateur of her approval, approached the Professor. She was loud in her praise of the lecture:. It was ‘‘so lucid, so clever, don't vou know and so convincing.” But she had one little difficulty which the Professor would doubtless dissipate. The Professor was willing to do his best. , ... .. £ “Then,” said the dame. tell me, lr the cerebellum you have been talking about to-night is really inside the nead or outside it!” , , . The other story is a capua. examp,o cf Huxley’s, caustic but genial wit. Speaking of the difficulty students experience in remembering, the exact situation of the mitral and tricsupid valves of the heart, Huxley remarked that he remembered that the mitral (so-called from its resemblance to the headgear cf the Church dignitary) must be on the left side, “because a Bishop could neve* be in the right.”—Dr. Andrew Wilsonian the “Chronicle.”

BILL POSTING AND IMPROPER

POSTERS

Unknown to the great public tnere exists in London a. small and select committee whose self-imposed duty it is to keep a vigilant eye on advertising posters. „ . , Nearly every hill-poster of importance in the country belongs to the association of which this committee is a part.

Should a bill-poster receive from a theatrical manager or an advertising firm a poster which seems to overstep the limit of decency, he promptly sends it to London, where the committee sits m solemn conclave to consider its merits. If the committee condemns the poster, it notifies every member of the association. that it had clone so ; and the chances of that poster receiving a prominent position on any hoarding in England! at once become very small. “Oner committee only looks at the poster from the moral point of view, ’ said Mr Wriguit, secretary of BillPosters’ Association. "‘We have nothing to do with the artistic side, and we never condemn a poster because of its politics.” . ‘ I . don’t think the question of libel in a poster has ever come before the committee. What the committee endeavours to do is to suppress every suggestion of indelicacy. “As far as possible it vetoes the theatrical horror. “A few years ago a bill was sent here, in which a woman was shown with a horrible gash across her throat. We at once requested our members not to post it

“Most of our suppressed bills are pictures of women, in abbreviated skirts. “Of course, the censorship works in the interests of the bill-posting trade, which has many enemies, but the public benefits greatly by its unostentatious work.”

Mr Wright is the custodian of a collection of posters which have been suppressed by the censorship committee. ‘‘They would be worth a good deal to a collector * said 1 Mr Wright sagely.

THE SLUMP IN THE CYCLE TRADE

The cycle industry has fallen upon evil days. Many firms have already g,one to the wall; others shiver on the brink of disaster, and any minute may topple over. With the majority it is a struggle for existence, to end in the survival of the fittest. Bad as were the company reports of a year ago, this year’s returns are in most cases worse. Heavy losses and diminished profits are the order. Few companies have come out well. Last year only nine firms were able to pay a dividend on ordinary scares, and in one case this was only possible by directors foregoing their fees. This year it is doubtful whether even tnis small number will be equalled. Holders of ordinary shares in some cycle companies lock upon their investments as bad debts. Dividends, they say, are at present impossible, and people refuse to buy. They have lost confidence. It is strange that when the various companies were being formed everybody clamoured for ordinary shares. Preference shares and debentures-took a second place. No w the desire is to get rid of the former at almost any price. One of the effects of the weeding-out process which is going on will be to drive eiut some of + he firms which came in with the “boom.” Some have, in fact, drooped out already. Those companies which survive will / ~et the advantage. The depression in the trade has naturally been keenly felt by the workers. Reductions have been made- wherever possible. Expenses are being curtailed, and economy exercised in all quarters. Those who are best qualified to form an opinion consider the future of the trade is all right with firms that are well organised and carefully managed, and of good repute.. Some build their hopes upon the motor industry. Others at present Tightshy of this. Much money mis yet to

be lost, they say. before much is gained. On the other hand, thev still think there is a good trade to be done in cycles. In a. word, the cycle industry has a long life before it. Plow far their judgment is coreetj time will tell.

SIR ARTHUR SULLIVAN AS A CRICKETER-

A writer in the 'Onlooker” says: Apropos of cricket, I recollect Arthur coming into the Garrick Club and telling Hi s of a cricket experience which amused him. He had been to pay a visit his old school, where he was received enthusiastically, got the boys a liorday, made great friends with them, and finally consented to join in their afternoon cricket match. Of course, it was thebecoming thing that the illustrious visitor should ‘‘pick up sides” with the captain of the eleven. This presented no difficulty, for lie picked out a bright-looking boy who acted as aide-de-camp ‘‘and made selections for him,” Nor was the great man in any dilemma when he was asked to “place the field,” for he logically observed that <mey must be better judges of their capabilities than he could possibly be, and that they had better all take their favourite places—which after some confusion they did. His real perplexity began when he was asked what position iu the field he.reserved for himself. For some minutes lie could not remember the name of a single one, but a luminous idea came to him, anci he said with dignity, “I am always in the habit of taking point.” 'lms dd not avail him much, as he hadn’t the faintest notion where’ “point” ought to stand- However, as he said, dmen to desperationhe located himself in a spot which seemed to him less occupied than the rest of the field, only to be humiliated by his small aide-de-camp saving to him with diffidence and politeness, “I beg your pardon, sir, but we generally have cur point on the other side of the wicket!’

THE CHANNEL ISLANDS

The strategical value of the Channel Islands in case of a war between Great Britain and France, is the subject of an article in the “Nineteenth Century” by Mr W. L. Clowes, who says he has carefully surveyed the islands for the purpose of finding out wha-t use they would he to us if war broke out at present, and what ought to make them of real service at some future time. At present they are useless and undefenddcl, and might easily be seined by French cruisers. Their chief value lies in their situation. France would make Cherbourg and Brest and we should make Portsmouth and Plymouth oar two great naval bases. On reference to- a map it will be seen that the Channel Islands lie athwart the course of shins passing to and from Cherbourg and Brest, and they might be made an hi valuable naval position as posts of observation half-way across the wua'uneh and for the storage of coal and ammunition :

We should then have a base within fifty miles, or two and a half hours’ steam, from Cherbourg, and within 1-iU miles, or five and a half hours’ steam from Brest. If a squadron issued from Cherbourg the faeb worm, be signalled from the cruisers and from Alderney, and should be known in Sark within a few minutes; and the squadron, no matter in which direction it might proceed, could be,immediately caught ana followed up by fresh destroyers, while the wearied scouts from off the' port could return at once for a. needed rest. There would be no possible chance for the Cherbourg squadron to escape observation, and to vanish for a time into space, to re-appear, perhaps, unexpectedly in the Bay of Biscay or the North sea. Sark is little or no closer to Brest than Plymouth is, but it is in a much more useful direction. . The process of catching and following up a squadron from Brest the movements of which would be reported by the cruisers through Jersey would be less rapid, but not, I think, less certain. And I pity the fate of any squadron that has at its heels, especially at night, a considerable flotilla of fresh destroyers and sea-going torpedo-boats. As for any junction of the Brest and Chei’bourg squadrons that should be quite out of the question, unless affairs were greviously mismanaged. A GAME FOR EVENING PA^xxES. “A drawing-room steeplechase is done in this way: —A narrow course is arranged down the length of the room, laid out with ‘jumps’ varying in height, and at different distances from each other. The jumps are made with piles of books, or eusions, or foot-stools, small chairs laid on their sides, or in any other way that ingenuity can suggest; out all must be small enough to be easily stepped over. “Someone —preferably an athletic young man who prides himself on his skill in hurdle jumping—must now be blindfolded, and it is required that he shall journey from end to end of the course, steopiug over all, without touching anv of the obstacles. This is carefully explained to him beforehand, and he is allowed to' study the various obstacles, and to estimate their heights and distances before his eyes are bandaged ; in fact, lie may make a trial trip over the course, so that tne distances between the jumps may be fair]v fired in his mem own Then he is started on his steeplechase. “No sooner is he off than all the oo-

stacles quietly and stealthily are removed from his path, xie advances a. step or two, gingerly raises a foot, throws it out, and makes a giant stride over an imaginary jump—and as lie goes along, so indescribably ludicrous are his careful efforts to clear obstacles when not one is in liis path, that long before he has reached the winning-post lie will be the only person in the room who is not feeling tired from excess of laughter. The misguided steeplechaser thinks, of course, that he is performing splendidly, when he finds that he is clearing everything in his path without a touch—nothing funnier can be imagined than the way in which his complacent conceit at his own success gives way to the bitterest chagrin when his eyes are uncovered, and. he finds out the heax.—“Pearson’s Magazin.e” A NEW ARMY RIFLE. There is is no more scientific expert in the use of the rifle than Lieutenant-Col-onel Hopton, the famous shot. As Su* perintendent of the Hytiie School of Musketrv. and as a Government official m other capacities, he has unrivalled knowledge of the Lee-Metford rifle. He was associated with the late Sir ITenry Halford on the Small Arms Committee, upon whose recommendation the present service weapon was adopted. The experience that Lieutenant-Colonel Hopton has had of this arm has ledjiim to simvestmany improvements, and it H satisfactory to l learn that tne known defects of the Lee-Enfield are, upon his su - °stion, likely to be remedied- The Lee-Enfield barrel is regarded as the best in existence, and will be retained, but the magazine will disappear in. favour of the Clip system of loading. Side sights are condemned by the committee which has been instructed with investigations, but the ordinary ones will be raacie or greater value, after the Mauser pattern, order to secure the full advantages of the excellence of the Lee-Enfield barrel. The present- sights do not do tee barrel justice.

JCe. Long-range firing: will be provided for with accurate sighting;, and there is also a suggestion of a. private nature that uprightness should be secured by means of an inserted' spirit level on the rifle. The Committee have had expert evidence before them, both miiitarv and civil, and' their recommendations arc made after the closest scrutiny of Lee's and Lebel’s, Mannlioher’s and Marasei s. actions, breeches, sights, sides, and bsrre.ls. The result (says the London Express), will be a rifle of long-range- accuracy delivering a- bullet of greater penetrating power, and more deadly as a “man-stoo-per” than the Mauser cartridge. To get the full value of such a rife the soldiers’ sight will have to be trained to distinguish objects at a greater distance than at present. _ "" The machine rifle such as Mr Atkinson has invented is recognised as a- weapon of the future. . The change involved in. the adoption of such a rifle is too drastic to be quickly adopted or summarily dismissed. It is expected that there will be exte« cd trials with it.