IN LIGHTER VEIN.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1509, 31 January 1901, Page 18

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

IN A CROWDED OMNIBUS. Mrs New Rich (offering seat in omnibus) : “Take nay seat.” _ Mrs Crat: “I would not wish to, deprive you.”

EDITH aND ETHEL

Edith : “He says I am a pearl of great price.” Ethel: “Yes; but men who talk like that never have the price.”

BAT) WEATHER IN GREENOCK.

Greenock has a rainy reputation. It is a story often told at its, expense, that when a tourist after several days of incessant rain in Greenock, asked a little girl, “Does it always rain here?” she replied, “Nait sometimes snaws.” A SUNDAY SCHOOL STORY. A little child in a Sunday school class, being questioned how Eve came to be made, hesitated some time, and then, brightening up, said: “God looked at Adam and said, I guess I can do better than that, and He then made Eye.”

IN A LONDON COUNTY COURT. Cross-examining counsel: “Isn’t your husband! a burglar?” Witness: “ Y-e-es.” Cross-examining Counsel: “And didn’t you knotw he was a burglar when you married him?” Witness; “Yes; but I was getting a little old, and I had to choose between a burglar and a lawyer, so what else could I do?”

WANTED: AN ERRAND BOY. Shopkeeper: “Want a situation as errand boy, do you? Well, can you tell me how far the moon is from the earth, eh?” Boy: “Well. guVnor, I don't know, but I reckon it ain’t near enough to interfere with me running errands;” He got the job.

IN A MERCHANT’S PRIVATE OFFICE. Employer': “I have noticed, Mr Johnson, that you, of all the clerks, seem to put your whole life and soul into, your work; that -no detail is too small to escape your critical attention, no hours too long to cause you to repijne.” Clerk (joyfully) : r ‘Y—yes, sir!” Employer: “And so, Mr Johnson, I am forced l to discharge you at once. It is such fellows as you that go out and start rival establishments after they have got the whole thing pat.” •