THE BYSTANDER.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1290, 19 November 1896, Page 11

THE BYSTANDER.

“ When found make a note of.” —Capt. Cuttle.

A Swedish woman in Chicago has started

THE “ SOMERSAULT CURE.”

what is called the “ somersault

cure ” for women who desire to improve their figure. “ Sometimes,” she says, “it takes logic and patience to persuade

a stout, dignified lady to turn a somersault, and in the preliminary trials a difficult object has to be helped over. At forty-five, you know, such an action seems an awful and awkward enterprise, but once you learn how to turn somersaults, even at fifty, the exhilaration of it grows on you, and its effects on one’s girdle measure are simply astonishing. The somersault does more for a clumsy fat woman than anything I can recommend.” Some cures are proverbially worse than the disease ; it looks as if the *' somersault” was one of them.

A baker named Pierre Mahe, who has been

“PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE.’’

carrying the doctrine of “ Prevention is better than cure ” to an extreme point, appeared before the Paris Correctional Chamber recently and received six months’ imprisonment. He was godfather

to Mdlle. Berthe Vaudeville, a young lady of seventeen, whose morals and propriety were altogether beyond question ; and lest, they should ever have reason to be questioned, Mahe determined to shoot her. Fortunately, his shooting was as eccentric as his ideas, and he missed his unwilling pupil three times. We say “ pupil ” because, in his defence, Mah6 pleaded that he was only teaching Mdlle. Vaudeville to be virtuous by frightening her. “ I love her with the deepest affection,” he said, sentimentally ; but luckily there was no jury to appreciate the sentiment, and Mdlle. Berthe is free from her instructor for six months.

A NATURALIST records a curious case of friendship existing between a

A CURIOUS FRIENDSHIP.

parrot and a sparrow. He writes:—There was at the Luxembourg, in the interior court, when the Prefecture of

the Seine, afterwards the Commune, occupied the premises now devoted to the Senate, a cage in which a parrot strutted about. One day 1 noticed a sparrow, who perched on top of the cage. Straightway the parrot mounted slowly from perch to perch, then he placed his head against the top of the cage. The sparrow thrust his beak through the bars and set to work to gently scratch the head of his friend. When the parrot bad had enough of this, he descended again gravely from perch to perch, and the sparrow received the reward for service rendered. The parrot, with his claw, pushed the scattered grains closo to the bars, and the bird took them one by one, enchanted with the good windfall. Is it chance which has presided over these complex operations ? Evidently not, they are too well connected. There was an amiable convention between the two birds, and a reciprocal loyalty in the execution of an engagement.

We have received a special number of the Dundee Courier, containing an

HISTORY IN NEGATIVES.

eight-page supplement, part of which is directed to a sketch of its own history (it having just attained its eightieth birth-

day), and part to an interesting record of the Queen’s long reign. From the latter we make an extract showing that eighty years ago there were : No Sewing Machines. No Free Education. No Tramways. No Breech-Eoading No Hansoms. Guns. No Trawlers. No Maxim Guns. No Steam Machinery, No Suez Canal. No Motor Cars. No Cook’s Tours. No Lucifer Matches. No Lady Cyclists. No Pneumatic Cycles. No Lady Doctors. No Pneumatic-Tyred No Lady Clerks. Vehicles. No Lady Barbers. No Phonograph. No Lady Footballers. No Type-Writing No Lady Cricketers. Machines. No Lady Golfers. No Electric Light. No Steel Steamers. No Electric Motors. No Triple - Expansion No Pullman Car. Engines. No Dining Saloon No Refrigerators. Carriage. No Free Libraricsl No f>o Miles an Hour. No Telephones. No 22-Knot Steamers. No Electric Telegraph. No 30-Ivnot Torpedo Boats. j What, one wonders, will (he next eighty years produce ? Tuii bicycle, as might have been expected in

THE CYC LB IN THE HULL BING.

Spain, has found its way into tiie bull ring. At a bull tight in Madrid last week the .spectators were not a little gratified at the innovation started by the matador Rodriguez and the

picador Badila, both of whom gaily wheeled themselves into is o ur-n.i. As soon as the bull was let loose Ko.ingmz

turned quickly out of reach, amidst the laughter and jeers of the beholders. Badila, the picador, on the contrary, wheeled up bravely towards the bull, but could not manage to get a stroke at him. The bull took the innovation in bad part, and instead of going for Badila, went for bis machine, and at one stroke hurled the wheel and the wheeler into the air. The picador was upon his legs in a moment and soon struck down the bull, but the machine was hopelessly shattered.

Doctors have sometimes been accused of fostering drunkenness by the

THE ORIGIN OF THE 11 COCKTAIL.”

more intemperate among the advocates of temperance; now it would appear (says the British Medical Journal) that the medical profession is to

have the invention of that questionable American institution, the “ cocktail,” fathered upon it. A New York newspaper has unearthed the following explanation of the term from “ an ancient print.” The old doctors, it is there stated, had a habit of treating certain diseases of the throat with a pleasant liquid, applied with the tip of a long feather plucked from a cock’s tail. In time this liquid came to be used as a gargle, the name of “ coclitaij,”

however, still clinging to it. In the course of further evolution the gargle became a mixture of bitters, vermouth, and other appetisers, and finally developed into the beverage so highly esteemed by the patrons of American bars. We afc not told the composition of the “pleasant liquid” used by the oid doctors, from which the “ cocktail ” is said to be derived ; but it is pretty safe to assume that, like the name of the famous steed Alfana, which, according to the French etymologist came from eqnns, it has in the course of its descent “ bein change en route.”

Here is an amusing incident, for the reporting of which we are indebted

A STORY ABOUT MONTE carlo.

to the Morning Post's p aris correspondent. At Nice, as is well known, there exist gambling games of various descriptions for the delectation of

foreign visitors. An English clergyman, of what denomination is not mentioned, some time ago hired an immense blank wall opposite the exit from the station. He caused to be painted thereon a scries of six pictures, each one representing a scene in a gambler’s life. The first shows the gambler in the bosom of his family. In the next he is passing the gaming house : he gives way to temptation and enters. The third shows him seated at a table, having a run of luck and piling up bank notes and gold in front of him. The fourth, fifth, and sixth portray, or rather, portrayed, respectively his degradation, ruin, and final suicide. Though this pictorial warning probably did not much affect the income of the gambling establishments it was not entirel}'- to their taste. So one of them outbid the English clergyman and secured the wall. The last three pictures were at once effaced, but the first three, showing the gambler’s success, have been allowed to remain, and now make an admirable advertisement for the enterprising hirer.

The Englishman travelling abroad docs not always get the best of it.

HOW Travel has just been told a TIPS are story illustrative of this fact by earned the widow of an Austrian in the ambassador, who was herself TYROL. the innocent cause of the

Englishman’s defeat. Travelling from Moran in the Tyrol with an invalid son, this lady had instructed the guard to keep her compartment free from other travellers. At an intermediate station an Englishman g Q t in and deposited his numerous bags and wraps in the rack. Calling the guard, the Baroness said in German, 11 You understand that I shall not give you anything at the end of the journey now that you have allowed this gentleman to come into the carriage.” “It will be all right, your Excellency,” said the guard cheerily, and went away.

A moment later, just after the Englishman

“ MAD !”

had made some pleasant remark to the Baroness, who had replied in English, his wife,

who was travelling in another part of the train, came up in great excitement, and said to her husband, “You must get out of this carriage at once. That woman is mad.” “ Hush !” said her husband, “ she speaks English, and is quite well.” “ Nothing of the kind,” said Mrs John Bull, “the guard has just told me that she is quite mad, and that her son is recovering from scarlet fever.” Our compatriot had no course open but to obey hi 3 wife. The Baroness secured peace for the rest of the journey, and the guard duly received his gratuity, coupled with an injunction never again to charge her Excellency with madness.

Mr Cecil Rhodes, as is well known, has for a long time been chairman

A RHODESBARNATO STORY.

of the celebrated De Beers Company, and as such has the disposition of the company’s output of diamonds within his

control. Mr Barnato, on behalf of his firm. Messrs Barnato Brothers, has been one of toe largest customers of the company. The Golden Penny tells that on one occasion Barney Barnato offered to buy the whole of the he Beers stock, which practically meant all the diamonds on the market. Mr Rhodes accepted the oiler on condition that they should pour the whole 10t—220,000 carats—into a bucket, and thus be able to gaze upon what no human eye harl hitherto seen. “ Done,” exclaimed Mr Barnato ; “ I’ll take them.” So the bargain was and the mass of glittering gems were poured into a bucket, and they feasted their eyes on this unique sight. The bucket was photographed, and the goods—- “ goods” is the technical name for diamonds at Kimberley—were delivered over to Barnato Brothers. Then the acuteness of Mr Rhodes’s bargain was seen. .Sorting and classifying diamonds is a tedious and lengthy process, and in this bucketful there were Bid different sorts and sizes. Messrs Barnato Brothers were six weeks in completing the re-sorting, and, of course, ail the gems were out of the market during that time. Anti, of course, Mr Rhodes had the market all to himself and scored heavily over the deal.

A GOOD story of Lord Wolseley is told by Mr Nourse, who was with Her

IT WAS THE commandant.

Majesty’s forces through the Soudan campaign. Nourse went into the post office at Korti, to look for some letters.

The postmaster was a native, and not very much at handwriting, and said there was nothing for him, after a superficial glance at a big pile of papers and letters. Nourse asked to see the pile of letters, and while he was looking them over a man with nothing to designate his rank came into the office in company with another. He took in the situation at a glance, and said : “ Let’s clean this thing out,” whereupon they jumped over the counter, and bundled the postmaster out, neck and heels. Then they began the examination of the office, and found it congested with mail foi the army. They searched every nook and cranny, and threw the letters for one regiment into one corner, those for another into another, with all the newspapers in the centre of the floor* Then ,

they went through each pile and. separated it into companies, and before night every letter was in camp and distributed, and the next day the papers were out. Nourse at the time did not know who his companion in the good deed was. He asked him his name, and his answer was—“ They call me Charlie.” Some time afterwards Nourse was going to see the commandant, and ! 1 sittiog near his tent saw his companion at j the post office. “ Hello, Charlie !" he said. J “ I’m looking for the commandant ; where’ll j I find him?” “Well,” said Charlie, “you won’t have to look far. I’m the commandant. Come inside and have a bit tu eat and drink.” It was Lord Wolseley, and a man worthy of the title.

Dean Wickham, Mr Gladstone’s son-in-law, in distributing the prizes to the MR GLAD- successful scholars at Newark STONE’S Grammar School, made an most ex- interesting reference to Mr CITING ex- Gladstone’s election contests in perience. the borough. The Dean said he

had heard Mr Gladstone say, over and over again, that in all Ins long life, in all the exciting scenes he had gone through, making Cabinets and taking part in momentous decisions on peace and war, he bad never gone through anything to compare for excitement with his first contest for Newark. “He told me,” said the Dean, “ that in the days of his canvass there were 2000 houses in the borough, and the custom was for the candidates to go into every house, whether it was that of an elector or a non-elector, to ask the elector for his vote and the non-elector for his intiuence, and he had been five times in all the 20u0 houses in Newark, making 10,000 visits in the town. If he could fiy, or come in some other easy way without notice, if he could disguise himself, he would like to visit Newark again.

Some interesting and amusing specimens of

westbury's WIT.

“ The Wit and Wisdom of Lord collected by Mr W. B. Duffield, appear in the Cornhill for October.

When he took silk, Betheil, as he then was, selected the court over which Vice-Chancellor Shadwell presided to practise in. The result was that the advocate of extraordinary talents established a complete ascendency over the mind of the Judge of ordinary gifts, so that the legal wits, quoting Scripture for their purpose ere long, said that “ Shadwell had set up an altar in Betheil, whereat to worship.” An angry rival on one occasion so far forgot, himself and the respect due to the Court as to throw down his brief and exclaim that it was useless arguing in a Court where Betheil alone was listened to, on which Betheil pleasantly suggested that the Court should adjourn until his learned friend had recovered his temper.

THE bouts between Betheil and Lord Justice

THE .1 UDGE AND THE J UNIOK.

'Knight Bruce were notorious and of constant occurrence. On one occasion Knight Bruce was restless under what he considered the undue iterations with which Betheil was

driving home his point, and at last broke out, “ Mr Bethell, I have heard you use that argument twice already.” “ Very likely, my lord,” replied Bethell, exaggerating his habitually slow utterance, “ for it is only by the continual dripping of the water on the stone that any impression is created.” A remark of Bethell’s to a junior too eager to distinguish himself is, Mr Duffield thinks, applicable to all time. “ I think,” said the junior, when he had finished and they retired for lunch, “ that you have made a strong impression on the Court.” “ I think so, too,” said Bethell; “ don’t disturb it.”

Later in life, Westbury’s humour did not desert him. In a case arising

A COLERIDGE STORY.

out of some well-sinking operations, a tedious advocate said, “ My lord, rny client has

gone to considerable expense in boring.” “bo 1 perceive,” said tbe Chancellor, “from the number of counsel employed.” it is also recorded by a witness of the occurrence that Coleridge (afterwards Lord Coleridge) had been addressing a lengthy argument to the House of Lords, containing mucli literary grace but little law. “My dear Attorney,” said Westbury, going up to him afterwards, “you have given usa mostebarming literary dissertation, fray uome and dine with mo to-night and finish it."

When Westbury was elevated to the Woul-

J.HAVLNG THE WOOLSACK.

sack, a friend remarked that after the continual jars and turmoil of the Commons he must feel in Paradise when presiding in the cooler atmos-

phere of the Lords. ‘ I might indeed do so,” he replied, “ but for the predominant and exo.-s-ive display of iawn sleeves, which at once dispels the pleasing illusion.” Nothing in ids career on the Woolsack became him like the leaving of it, and his farewell address to the House of Lords is a model of dignified and appropriate language; though even this closing scene was not much without its touch of satire delivered with an urbanity and courage worthy of his best days. Lord Ebury had brought into the House of Lords a Bill to effect certain changes in the Burial Service, which had been thrown out. The House was greatly moved at the speech of the retiring ( Chancellor, who, as ho was leaving, met Lord Ebury and said to him, “ My lord, you can now read the Burial Service over me, with any alterations you think proper.”

In the Botanical Gazette lor April, an in-

teresting case of mimicry is described, the seeds of the “Philippine Island bean” from the coast near Manila, so

more PROTECTIVE MIMICRY.

closely resembling the quartz pebbles among which they fall, in shape, size, colour, lustre, hardness, and stratification, as to be indistinguishable from them except by a very close examination. The size and. shape of the beans are both very variable, ranging from 10 to 23 m.m. ; some perfectly resemble well-rounded beach pebbles, while others mimic pebbles which have been broken across; Their colour varies

from moderately dark to light drab, some giving a faint greenish tinge ; others resemble pebbles of chalcedony or of crystallised quartz. Nearly all the specimens show a series of approximately parallel darker lines passing round, very suggestive of stratification. All are quite hard, cut only with difficulty with a knife, and give a clinking sound when shaken together in the hand. They are not affected by soaking in sea-water.

In spite of all the troubles in Rhodesia they still find time at

TIIE POET IN RHODESIA.

Bulawayo to write verse. Here is a “ Lay of the Matabele Mounted Police” from the Matabele Times:

Your account-book may be faky, and your credit may be shaky. And youn.balance at your banker’s may be nil, You may make the sad confession that there isn’t a profession That enables you to pay your butcher’s bill. Still, do not be downhearted, though your last shirt has departed, And the larder is as empty as can be, If yon want your pocket filling, you can take the Chartered shilling, And go and join the M.M.P.

You need no Mathematics, Euclid, Science, Hydrostatics, No Latin, German, Hebrew, French or Greek, There are no exams, whatever, and you need not be too clever, For you are very seldom called upon to speak. But you must keep a steady trigger on the depredating nigger. And perhaps some day a Boer may cross the V ; He will be behind a boulder, but your carbine’s at your shoulder, And they want you in the M.M P.

But your courage must be ready, and your hand be cool and steady, And sometimes you’ll have to sleep upon your mount ; You will just do what you are told to, and your life you needn’t hold to, For, whatever happens, that will never count; And the lone veld will receive you, and perhaps your dog will grieve you, And the news will travel somehow o’er the sea, And the grass will wave above you, and one perhaps still love you, When you’ve vanished from the M M.P.

Here is a good story of Wilson Barrett.

TH E ENGLISH ACTOR.

Shortly after he had joined the theatrical profession, he became a member of a company performing at the old Theatre

Royal, Dublin. His part, naturally, was a small one, and Mr Barrett had no expectation whatever of receiving any sign of approval from the audience. Greatly to his surprise, however, his first small speech was greeted with a round of applause. This unlooked-for tribute quite elated the youug actor, and he exerted himself to the utmost in the endeavour to sustain the good impression he appeared to have made. He succeeded eveu beyond his hopes. Everything he said or did was rapturously applauded, and the principal performers were thrown completely in the shade. The “stars” were, of course, disgusted, and the rest of the company lost in amazement —none more so than young Barrett himself. He scarcely supposed that he quite deserved such an ovation, but with the natural vanity of youth, he considered that these Dublin folk showed a rare appreciation of budding merit. However, he was shortly to be undeceived. Just as he was leaving the theatre one of the sceneshifters grinningly accosted him, “ Sure, ye wor cock o’ the walk to-night, sir.” ,! Well, yes, Mickey,” returned the actor, with pardonable pride ; “ I think I Knocked ’em a bit—eh ?”—“ Och, sir,” said Mickey, “sure it wasn’t that at all, at all ;.but it’s got about among the bhoys that ye’re a brother of the man that was hung ! ’ _ A Fenian named Barrett had that morning paid the extreme penalty of the law. It was very long afterwards,” says Mr Barrett, in teiliug the story, “ before I again ventured to pride myself upon my acting.”

Though precise observations are wanting, we know that fishea, especially

LONGEVITY OF FISH ES.

the Jaigs species, live a very long time. According to Bacon, eels reach 60 years. Carps

have been known to live at least 150 years, and they then seemed to Bullon as lively and agile as ordinary carp. Dolphins, sturgeons, and sharks live more than a century, and attain huge size. Pikes have been seen weighing 10001 b, which indicates a very long existence. A pike caught at Kaisers-Lautern in 1497 was 19ft long, and weighed 3501 b ; it bore in its gills a copper ring with an inscription stating that it had been put in the pond of Lautern by order of the klmpeior Frederick II. —that is, 201 years before. Whale fishers have exterminated the huge whales of the polar seas ; those that were formerly met with were of prodigious dimensions. It is supposed, with some probability, that they live several centuries, and that they may even reach an age of 1000 years.