THE HUMOUR OF JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1263, 14 May 1896, Page 10

THE HUMOUR OF JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.

Those who can appreciate American humour of the new kind should read " A House-boat on tho Styx," by John Kendrick Bangs, just published by Harper Brothers. In Hades we are introduced to a kind of club of which Sir Walter Raleigh, Cassius, Dermotlienes, Blackstone, Dr Johnson, Confucius, and other celebrities are members. The conversation was brilliant and character's Je, and varied by occasional asperities. Washington spo'ko of tho Yankee inventive genius. "It was a Yankee that invented that tale about your not being able to prevaricate, wasn't it, George ?" asked Diogenes.

While some of the guests were waiting in the smoking-room, Boswell indiscreetly mentioned that Dr Johnson had said that ho expected to bo unusually witty that

evening. " Really, you talk too much, Boswell," said the Doctor.

"That's good," said Cicero. "Stick that down, Hoz, and print it. It's tho best tiling Johnson has said this week." Hamlet came in, and spoke of his troubles. Ho had heard of a troupe in the Western United States that put the play on witli three Hamlets, two ghosts, and a pair of bloodhounds. It was called the Unclo-Tom-Hamlct combination.

ThenCarlylo and Johnson had a set-to. Tho latter had heard Bonaparte ask Frederick tho Great if lie had read Carlyle's life of himself. The Prussian said lie hadn't time.

" Haven't ' time ?" said Bonaparte " Why, you've got all eternity."

" But that isn't enough," replied Frederick.

It is seldom that a man so masters a foreign language that he can -express himself therein when greatly excited. A Welshman, after attempting to tako part in a prayer meeting conducted in Knglish, and finding it very difficult to express the fervour of his heart in tho partially acquired tongue, suddenly broke the halting and laborious sentencos with a joyful exclamation : '" Lord, I thank thee that thou knowest Welsh !" and straightway launched upon the sea of gutturals which came so readily to his lips.

A countryman went to a lawyer, laid before him a case in dispute, and then asked if he would undertake to win tho suit.

Lawyer—Most certainly I will under take the case. Wo are sure to win.

Peasant—So you really think it is a good case. Lawyer—Undoubtedly. I am prepared to guarantee you will get a verdict in your favour. Peasant—Well, then, sir, I don't think I will go to law this time, for, you see, I havo just given you my opponent's case and not my own.

" My wife," he remarked, " has made a very important discovery." " Indeed," I said, " what U it ?" " A new substance that is apparently indestructible." I recalled the fact that his wife had been a professor of natural sciences prior ta her marriage and inquired if she had been long at work upon the invention. " No,"he replied, " and it came about by accident. She was trying to make a sponge cake."