THE BYSTANDER.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1263, 14 May 1896, Page 10

THE BYSTANDER.

' When found make a note of." —Cai'T. Cuttle

Rainilaiarivony, the late Prime Minister of Madagascar, who is to be A interned in Algeria, has arPREMIER in rived at Marseilles. He is a EXILE. little shrivelled up, darkskinned, grey-haired man of 70, but a bit of a dandy still, lie wore trousers of white silk brocade with a striped pattern, an elegant woollen jacket of like pattern, and a heavy wrapper adorned with red and white checks, patent leather boots, and a round, felt "hat completing his costume. During the voyage the fallen Premier—who, by the way, was cajolled on board under pretence of taking a little tripis said never to have opeued his lips, though he betrayed sorno surprise on beholding the sea for tho first time and on becoming acquainted with the use of electric light. He has brought with him about £BOOO, chiefly in silver, and he enjoys an income j from ground rents in Antananarivo, where I he is actually the landlord of the French I Resident. i

The Scotch papers have been interviewing Admiral McClure, of the a Chinese navy, who i 3 on a

scotch visit to the West of Scotland. Mandarin". Of Admiral McClure, who has the rank of a Mandarin of the Second Class, much was heard during the Chino-Japanese war. He now has much to Bay of the fighting, and, while he condemns the Chinese army, he can find many words of praise for the navy. Of the battle of Wei-hai-Wei he says that if the land forces had fought as well as the fleet, the Japanese might have had a different talc to tell. It is curious to read that the admiral says most of the Germans who had been in the pay of China for many years had little stomach for the fight, and when the war came to their doors, and actual dangerous work had to be done, they suddenly discovered that they were wanted elsewhere. On the other hand, not a single Englishman, Scotsman or Irishman he had in his fleet, cither as officer or gunner, deserted his post, but bravely stuck to him to the last. This remark will arouse mingled feelings " across the Channel."

From "Sir Robert Wilson's Life'' a timely story has been unearthed, HE was Regnier, the unlucky French an general, before Cairo capituKNGLISH- fated to the French, tried to man, overcome the resistance of

Mahomed Bey Elfi, who opposed the surrender. "No," said Mahomed, "I am an Englishman." Regnier repliod, " You are wrong ; it is true that the English are superior to us at sea, but by land they are not eren respectable ; why ."ttach yourself to a power that can never aid you ?" Mahomed asked, " Is not the sea much larger than the land '/" Regnier acknowledged that it was. "Then," said Mahomed, "as tho dominion of the English is larger than yours, so must they be greater. I continue English,"

ONE of the most interesting of Dickens' letters, recently offered for sale,

TWO refers to Thackeray's death : DICKENS' " You will have heard about LETTERS, poor Thackeray's death—sudden and yet not sudden—for he had long been alarmingly ill ; at tho solicitation of Mr Smith and some of his friends I have done what I would most gladly have excused myself from doing, if I felt I could, written a couple of pages about him in what was his own magazine. Therein I have tried, so far as I could, with his mother and children before mo, to avoid the fulsome and injudicious hash that has been written about him in the papers . . , you can have no idea of the vile stuff . . . people who would have beslavered him living, begin to bespatter him dead." Another relates a terrific story which Longfellow told him. The poet was one of a dinner party at Webster's. "As they sat at their -vine, Webster Buddcnly ordered the lights to be turned out, and a bowl of some burning mineral was placed on the table, that the guests might see how ghastly it made them look. As each man stared at all the rest at the weird tabic, all were horrified to see Webster, with a rope round his neck, holding it up over the bowl, with his head jerked on ono side and his tongue lolled out, representing a man being hanged."

MOST of the Prince of Wales' neighbours in the far North believe in the H.R.H. AITD "good old-fashioned Sunday," Sunday and some of them seem to be OBSKRV- rather concerned about his ANCE. Royal Highness' doings on a

recent occasion. At a Sunday Observance meeting in Aberdeen iccently, one of the speakers noted that "the Prince of Wales had a yacht at a race at Hye-es on Sunday last week. He made bold to say on this question that if the heir expected to sit on the throne and to outrage divine institutions in this way it was more likely, looking forward to the future, that the throne would sit on him." Another speaker, a retired farmer, told how, thirty years ago, he was asked to Lring milk to town on Sunday, but said he would rather put the milk down the burn. He asked the people to take the milk on Saturday evenings. All his customers agreed to the proposal except one rich lady, and she died a few weeks afterwards!

Curious reminiscences are being evoked of Signor Crispi's sojouru in Paris CKISPI'S during the period of his exile LIFE IN forty years ago. He came I'AKIS. there accompanied by his first and still surviving wife, Rosalie Montesson, a stout-hearted and comely washerwoman of Savoy, and began by earning two or three pounds a month as a contributor to Le Progres. Rosalie made the acquaintance of the wife of M, Demarest, the Radical barrister, who put more work in Crispi's way. Though industrious and temperate, the'future Minister *vas by no means averse to pleasure, and might often be seen iu fashioaablo drawing-rooms, and

also in the less reputable haunts, known as the Closerie des Lilacs, and Le Jardin Mabille. He lived at first in the Rue de Boulogne, but migrated to better quarters later in the Boulevard Montmarte. When Orsini threw his famous bomb at the Emperor's carriage in 1858, M. Piotri, though he knew Crispi was not implicated, hunted him up at M. Demarnst's house and insisted on his leaving Paris ; but it is believed that he only pretended to make a trip to Lon lon, awaiting the sure progress of events which drove Napoleon 111. into war. He separate;! from Rosalie in 1872. She is living in Pome very poorly and quietly, still attached to her former caro sposo, although she regards him as a traitor to his Republican principles.

The Boers have their own ideas as to the origin of the English language. THE BOERS They say that when Dame and the Nature was employed in giving gift of tongues to the various nations

tongues, she stood at a large table on which lay a piece of meat. She had a knife in her hand, and a pair of scissors lay on the table. With the one she cut the tongue out of the meat, and with the scissors she gave to each tongue its peculiarities. To her came all the nations. " De Frausman," " de Duitcher," and even * de Boosman " were provided for, but " de Engelsman " was not there. He had turned into a canteen on the roadside, il seems, for a drink, and when he arrived the meat was done. "Never mind," said Dame Nature, " there are plenty of snips on the floor—take half a dozen of these, join them together, and make a tongue for yourself."

WHAT a charming historical anecdote is that told by Mr Goschen, at Lewes. " r*AM" of how he was coached by Lord and Palmerston, in 1501, before DOMESTIC moving the Address of Thanks ! LEGISLA- In those good old times, TION. instead of a preposterously long programme, domestic legislation was dismissed iu tho Queen's Speech by the following phrase :—'• Various measures of public utility will be submitted to your consideration." After listening to the veteran Premier's exposition of the European situation, the timid and blushing young Ooschen ventured to ask, " And with regard to domestic legislation, what am 1 to say?" "Well, you know," answered Lord Palmerston, " we have been adding a great many laws to the Statuto Book every year, and we can't go on passing law after lav,'. I think we have almost done enough. A little law reform, a little bankruptcy legislation, and" (cheerfully rubbing his hands) "I think that will do." How delightful 1 And what a pity statesmen do not more often relieve the tedium of their harangues by bits of biography !

A FRUIT importer in the Birmingham Market on opening a barrel of ANEW apples, one of a consignment WAY TO just received from Canada, was ADVERTISE surprised to find on the top of for A t'ne fruit a large circular piece WIFE. of cardboard bearing writing in pencil in a large, bold hand. On examining it moroclosdy this is what he read :—" Brighton, Canada, January 25. The person writing is a blonde, age 25 yrs and in the apple business wishing to correspond with inglish lady for matrimonial purposes and will find to their advantage by addressing"—then follow full name and detailed address.

The immigration of Swedish girls to England promises to increase. DOMESTIC A correspondent of The GenileSERVANT 3 woman says, "J have had FROM Swedish maids for several years, SWEDEN, and cannot speak too highly of their capabilities. I recommend anyone who would like to follow my example and try a servant of ' the oldfashioned sort' to put an advertisement (which will be translated by the editors) in the Stockholm Dashhtde or the DiUjens Herjeter, Stockholm. Some English lady wrote an account of the deplorable slate of English servants to a Swedish pspxr a week or two ago, with the result that there has been quite a stir among Swedish maidens to come up to our country. The fare fro a Stockholm is about (ire pounds."

HERE is a copy of an address from a United States newspaper —the YellowONE slone Journal—to its subscriwav of bers ;-—" The Chinook bloweth, putting and the snow goetli, and wliojt. soever oweth this paper knoweth that his account groweth ; on that ho may take oath, and r.nless he showeth a disposition to part with the long green, we shall, in the language of the Monroe Doctrine, regard it as 'an unfriendly ao'.' " This, we should think, ought to make the defaulters pay up if anything will.

A TERRIBLE case of suicide is reported from Southern KusMa. A young and A pretty woman living in the HORRIBLE settlement of Amoor announced SUICIDE, suddenly at a dinner-parly

given by some friends that she had resolved to commit suicide. On reaching home she first bathed herself from head to foot, and then clothed herself iu a linen shirt. Next she filled tho kitchen stove with wood in order to make a big lire, and drenched herself with petroleum. She then plunged .headforemost into the stove, and soonnothing remained of her but her leg?, which the neighbours, on entering, found sticking out of the fire. She left a letter begging her friends to look after her child, and to pray for the repose of her soul.

There arc Scots who sit for English and English who represent Scottish scots— constituencies, and apropos of English, this reciprocity an amusing story is told by the Westminster Gazette. In the dining-room of the House of Commons, a Scotch member who sits for an English constituency was at lunch, when a well-known Scotch member, high in the legal profession, sat down at the table. Legal Member (glancing at bill of fare) : Well, what are you having foi lunch ?

( Other Scot: Scoutbered soo ! j Legal Member: I know what "soo" means, but what is "scouthered soo ?" Other Scot: Roast pork, man ! Ye area puir Scot.

Before Mr Chamberlain married for the ) third time he was in the habit I AN of spending his summer holiOLDISH days travelling on the ContiliOY, nerd, in company with his attached friend Mr Jesse Colling'. A story is told which illustrates the extraordinarily youthful appearance which Mr Chamberlain contrived to retain long after he had passed the age of forty. One one occasion they were travelling in Spain, and accident finding them in a town where there was horrible accommodation and a great lack of modes of conveyance, they I arranged with the captain of an English coasting lugger to convey them back to I civilisation. The captain agreed to surrender his own small cabin to their use. "There is only one bed," he said, "which you are welcome to, mister," addressing Mr CollingS, who was venerable in appearance, " but there is a sofa, and the boy will have to rough it on that." By "the boy" he meant Mr Joseph Chamberlain, who was then well over forty.

The Priuco of Wales on his way to the South of France travelled in"THE cognito as the Earl of Ches er

EARL of or of Ulster. Once the Prince Chester." had an amusing experience. He was visiting a picture gallery in Paris, when two Americans were also present. Said one to the other, after a prolonged stare at the Prince, " I'll bet you ten naps that's the Piince of Wales." " Done 1" cried the other. The loud tones in which they spoke attracted general attention. Presently" the first Yankee watched the opportunity, and, approachinga gentleman of the Royal' parly, asked the name of the subject of the wager. "The Earl of Chester" was the reply. "Sold 1" said Hie American to his companion. Nobody appreciated the joke better than the Heir Apparent, who had overheard everything.

TUB New York Journal has an interesting article on watches. If you

about wear a watch next your body WATCHES, during the day, and put it on a cold marble mantelpiece at night, or, in fact, anjwhere in a cold room, the watch is sure to either gain or lose. Cold causes contraction of the metals composing the balance wheel and it parts, and the watch consequently gains. When the parts expand under the heat of the body the pivots, bearings, etc., tighten up, and the watch loses. As a consequence your watch is slow when you retire and fast when you get up. A watch should always be wound every morning, so that (he spring shall be at its strongest tension during the day, when the watch will be jolted more or less. At night the comparatively weak spring has nothing io disturb it. A watch should never be laid horizontally at night, but should always be hung upon a nail. You should always keep >our watch in the same position night and day.

At a small Nonconformist chapel in Yorkshire, the late Sir. Joseph Barnby WANTED once officiated at the organ for another some special service. Service COLLEC- over he chose the "Hallelujah TiON ! Chorus "us a dismissal piece, hut at the clo.-e, on turning round, greatly to his surprisj, saw most of the congregation in their pews. He was just about leaving his seat when one of the chapel officials came up to him and said, "If ye wad n't mind playine that o'er again I think we might venture on trying another collection."

IN his new work on " Campaigning in South Africa and ffigypt," MajorlIOWTHE General W. C. F Molyneux

BOERS makes this contribution to our leaks TO knowledge of the wavs in which shojt. the Boers learn to shoot: —One

day, when (he General had gone to Newcastle, 1 was asked by a friendly Boer to come out shooting on Ihe morrow; then: were a lot of buck, lie said, on the Elandesberg, north-east of u«. Next morning accordingly I took a rillo and a bag of cartridges, anil attended by Noot and two horses set out for the place. When I met my friend he said, " What have you got in that bag? Your dinner."' "No," I answered, " cartridges ; ' wlieieat he roared vviih laughter. " You I'lnglishmcn must be very rich ; they cost sixpence apiece here." " Where are yours ?" I asked, not seeing the joke. "In this," he said, tapping his doublebarrelled rifle, "You don't intend to shoot much." '' Two springbuck arc as much as 1 can carry." "Suppose joumiss.'" •• Nobody misses ivhcm a cartridge costs sixpence." That was the conversation, and it taught me much. It may perhaps teach us all why we were beaten by the Boers in ISSI. The Boer does not waste his ammunition. He will aim and take down his till-; a dozen times, until he is satisfied that he is going to get something for his cartridge. An Englishman shoots for sport, the Boer only for the pot.

The French Roman Catholic paper La Croix announces that the A rifles used by the Shoans in QUEER Abyssinia are the English YARN. Remingtons of the Papal Zouaves, sold by the Italian Government in 1572 to the Abyssinians. Those firearms still bear the tiara and the keys of the Papal States. "It is from those guns," writes the Abbe Piche from Poitiers, " that the plunderers have received defeat rfter defeat; retribution is beginning in a most mysterious way, and nothing can stop it."

Will the coming auto-car affect the dividends of railway companies ? the The Spectator appears to be auto-cars of opinion that it will. The r. railways of this island (says cur railways, contemporary) cost perhaps twice as much as they ought to have done; but they were built, built rapidly, aud built well; they have made the

nation prosperous, and they now return, on the average, a better profit than any equally extensive reservoir of sleeping capital. The next expenditure, say of a hundred millions, will probably be on " au f o-cars " of every description, from heavy wains down to bicycles, aud no doubt, if the first companies succeed greatly, about half the money wdll be thrown away. That will be bad, no doubt, for those who invest during the latter part of the mania, and thousands wdll be ruined ; but at the end the country will be provided with auto-cars, the average of profit will be greater than the dividend on Consols, and 'the cost of transmitting goods and passengers will have to be reduced one-half, to the indefinite facilitation of all business.

Stories of the Chitral Campaign are still being related. At Malakand a there was a man with the chitral enemy who had been a marker s'dry. in a native regiment. When the attack developed he stood on the top of a sungar with a red Hag in his hand. Many of our men took pot-shots at him, and as the bullets whistled past he signalled, " Miss, by the right " or " by the left," until one caught him full in the chest. He staggered for a moment, signalled " Bull's-eye," and then dropped dead.

A farmer in Brazil has utilised a kite for the purpose of obtaining ice. THE He fills a tin can with water LATEST and sends it to the height of thing in three miles, where it is KITES. promptly frozen. After a sufficient interval the kite is rapidly hauled iu and the cake of ice is secured. The inventor is so pleased with his toy that he now proposes to send up a kite 150 feet long by a steel wire cable. Under the kite will" be suspended a pulley, over which runs an endless chain bearing cans attached to hooks. The cans will be tilled with water, and Ihe speed of the belt upon which they run will be regulate.! so that the topmost cans will be converted into ice sufficiently hard to stand the downward journey. This paragraph is from an American paper. No one is compelled to believe it unless he likes.

Here is a story that is being told with much gusto by Com Paul's an burghers. A father and .-on,

early named Pretorius, were setting START IN out to meet f)r Jameson at war. Krngersdorp, and a younger

son, a boy 12 years old, was anxious to go too. But his father scolded him and left him. After the others had gone he went into the house, took down an old "snnnah"—a relic of past drys—and, finding some ammunition, loaded his weapon and set off on foot towards Krugersdorp. After walking some time he observed a horseman approaching, and concealed him. self behind an ant-heap. When he saw that the horseman was armed, and that his horse's tail was cut, he concluded that the man was "one of the enemy," So he crouched down and look aim, aud at a distance of 72 yards he shot Lis man dead. The trooper fell from his horse, and the youthful Boer calmly took possession of his horse and accoutrements, and, discarding bis old " sanuah," rode home in triumph with his booty.

A CLEVER swindle is reported to have been perpetrated on a New York a tradesman a few days clever ago. A fashionably dressed swindle, woman drovo up iu a stylish carriage, and selected a seal

wrap at 300 dollars, tendering in payment a cheque for 1000 dollars drawn on an uptown bank. Tho customer was detained while a boy was sent to the bank to ascertain tho genuineness of tho cheque, and became highly indignant when she learned tho cause of the delay. In fact, on tho bov's return she demanded' her cheque back, and left the store, saying she would purchase elsewhere. Fifteen minutes later, however, she returned, expressing regret for her impatience, and tendering tho cheque said she would take tho wrap. The garment was accordingly placed iu tho carriage, and the customer departed,carrying her change of 700 dollars with her. When tho cheque was again presented ;it tho bank, it was found that immediately after tho boy's liesf visit to tho bank the 1000 dollars, which the woman had on special deposit, had been withdrawn, and there was no balance with which to meet the cheque.

Dealing with the legends of buried treasures, tho Standard j buried says: —in all parts of TREASURES. Spanish America there is a class of loafers who only work from time to Lim-, just long enough to save a little money with which to buy an outfit, and then go hunting for huaclio.s "holy places" literally. There is no doubt that a proportion of them do very well, aud Home make a prodigious coups. Even in parts where tho Indians were never civilized, they used to bury small figures of tho purest gold with their dead; and tho graveyards, overgrown with forest now, cover it vast space of ground occasionally. That famous example on Chiriqui Lagoon, discovered about 1800, gave employment for many thousand diggers during several years. It was disclosed by tho fall of a treo upon tho bank of a little river; canoe men passing remarked golden figures held up by the roots, gloaming in the sunshine. They had notwdtenough to keep tho secret, but when professionals come upon a gold mine of this sort they work it quietly, as a rule, for years. Experience enables thorn to detect an old graveyard by certain sums, or they encourage themselves with that fancy. We ourselves observed a quiet comfortable-looking peon lay a heavy little sack upon tho counter of the bank in San Jose do Costa Rica—ho scarcely lifted it with both hands. In a matter-of-fact way the clerk emptied it into tho scales—a heap of little alligators, birds, human figures, crosses and odds and ends, childish as art, but pure',gold ; weighed tho mass, and gave a receipt. This treasure-seeker had an account at his bank.