TABLE TALK.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 999, 24 April 1891, Page 21

TABLE TALK.

Sir Harry Atkinson has come back fortunately none the worse for his travels, and he has brought back a report which effectually disposes of Federation, so far as New Zealand is concerned —at least for the present. Read the interview published in another column, and you will find that Federation would coat U 3 in round numbers L 400,000, and in such a way that we could not possibly make it up from any source of revenue at all. For the present then Federation is in a state of coma. It may revive some time, but there is only one remedy known to the political pharmacopoeia which will produce that effect, and that is federation by the Federal Legislatures (when it comes to be established) of all the colonial debts.

Will Federation be established ? We may assume that it will. Sir Harry is very strong on that point, and Sir Harry has about as good a political nose as any man living. That being the case, wiil they federate the public debts ? L 180,000,000 they come to. The late Mr Westgarth had very leading and very good ideas on this subject. As a financier he thought the operation would be the simplest in the world. If the new Federation adopts these ideas it will have to find a method of applying them. It will be “a new way to pay old debts.” Probably the new Federation will be quite equal to the task.

Touching the tariff, does it surprise you to learn that if the 'Victorian tariff is substituted for our New Zealand tariff there will be immediately an immense loss of revenue? When this tariff was imposed there was a battle royal between Freetrade and Protection. The Freetraders were particularly rampant, if I remember rightly. Sir Harry and those who acted with him insisted that the proposed tariff was in the main not a Protective tariff at all. A few items were arranged in accordance with Protective principles, but the main object of the tariff, he declared, was to gel revenue. Not content with his own assertion, he quoted the opinions of leading Freetraders, amongst others the Secretary of the Cobden Club, whose opinion may be found any day by anyone who pleases to look up the Hansard report u£ Sr Harry’s speech in the session of 1887, in very choice English. Protection, however, everybody insisted at the time, was the object of the tariff as well as its effect, the latter criticism being of course prophetic. It must be very gratifying to Sir Harry to be able to confute these criticisms by quoting the statement of the Government Statist at Sydney as to the result of the Wictorian tariff. The Victorian tariff is admittedly the highest Protective tariff in the Colonies, both as to its original intention and its annual effect. Substituted for our tariff it would give us just 1(400,000 less of revenue. Can there be any doubt that when Sir Harry imposed his tariff for the purposes of revenue, it was a revenue and not a Protective Tariff?

The most curious commentary upon the value of this Protection is to be found in the line now being persistently adopted in the criticism of Sir Bryan O’Loghlan, of Melbourne. Sir Bryan insists that the Federation of Australia with intercolonial Freetrade under the shadow of

the Victorian tariff will destroy the industries of Victoria. Upon which statement the Freetraders throughout Australia have made the very just remark that if a quarter of a century of Protection has not sufficed to make the industries of Victoria safe against the competition of the mushroom industries of Queensland and South Australia, which have grown up in two or three years of Protection, it is quite clear by the admission of it 3 own supporters that Protection is a failure. From this “ reductio ad absurdum ” I humbly gather that Australia i 3 certain to Federate—the fact is that there i 3 only an absurd tariff argument against it.

Sir Harry, who is a close observer of men, gives us a remarkable opinion about the vigour of the Anglo-Saxon race in New South Wales. Everybody who lias gone there before him has foil it necessary to repeat the hackneyed description of the “cornstalk.” Sir Harry says there is no such thing. A very vigorous, wellgrown, active people with the rosiest and healthiest of children to be found in any part of the globe—that is Sir Harry’s deliberate verdict. He himself found the climate trying you will say he is hardly a judge in his present state of health—but he is careful t® add that Captain Russell was in the same beat. Their condition informed them that the weather was extremely hot and uncomfortable and relaxing, but the thermometer, he facetiously adds, absolutely refused to agree with them. Undoubtedly at times it is an uncomfortable climate, but if what Sir Harry says is correct, the Anglo-Saxon race is not going to be incommoded by it into anything like degeneracy.

In one of the latest reviews I notice that another authority, no less than Mr Henry George—the review is the “ Cosmopolitan ” —has been devoting himself to the same question. He approaches it from the mental rather than from the physical side, “All the habits of the Australians,” he asserts, “ are distinctly British, as well as their customs.” They have no Sunday papers, and they do not want them. They are not quite Sabbatarian, yet they are very sparing of their Sunday excursions. Their bars are all in the hands of the fair sex, and their hotels are in the older English Btyle, and some of them wonderfully good —especially, he says, in the smaller towns (which makes one rather imagine that Mr Henry George is not a very firstclass authority on hotels of any kind). They do not understand ice, that is to say, Mr George regrets that they do not destroy their digestion by its indiscriminate use. They have, he says, a faint knowledge of ica - cream and none of soda - water fountains, and they are always drinking tea instead of coffee. They carry luggage, not baggage ; all their drug stores are chemists’ shops ; they estimate weight by stones, not understanding pounds ; they drink British beer or colonial, lager beer being unknown almost; they smokepipesinstead of cigars, their bedroom windows are blocked up by dressing tables, and every man consumes his ton of cauliflower per annum. They eat meat like the cannibal, and 3 — they do not talk through their noses. This is the climax of Mr George’s proofs that the habits and customs of the Australians are distinctly British. By the way, he stops at this point to make a very open and candid confession that his countrymen are exceedingly nasal. Ha had thought that the Yankee twang had existed only in the imagination of the prejudiced Britisher, but he had been undeceived on one lamentable occasion. It was in Naples. He suddenly came across a large party of American tourists in a dining room in an hotel in Naples, all t-ilcing at once. The nasal twang went through him like a jack-knife.

But all this, Mr George avers, is on the surface. He thinks he has seen, especially among the native born, evidences that an Australian type of character is developing. He observed the American inventiveness, self reliance, independence ; the same quickness of thought and movement; the same self-satisfaction and “ spread-eagla-tiveness.” They even make new words, he says, with the facility of the American coinage of that article. He instances the “shepherding,” and quotes to “go bung,” which, he adds, is a magnificent expression, carrying the idea of explosion in its very sound. If Mr George were ever inclined to quote Pope, which I believe he never is, being far too serious for such frivolities, he would have managed to bring in something about the famous canon from . the essay on “ Criticism ” about the sound being an echo of the sense. He might even have revelled in the illustration of “Swift Camilla” flying o’er the unbending corn, &c., &e. Being an American it is singular that he did not ; for to the American mind there is no incongruity in quoting choice poetry to illustrate the propriety of such phrases as to “go bung.”

Amongst other proofs of Australian word-coining Mr George takes the totalisator. “Some sort of horserace gambling machine much in favour,” he calls it. “Horserace gambling machine ”i 3 good, nearly as good as the extreme innocence of the chronicler who ventures to guess that the totalisator may have something to do with a deleterious sport.

The chief charm of the totalisator—let

us now pass from Mr George and talk about something wh'ch has recently been exciting our own local imaginations—is that it so often brings about the unexpected and the delightful. Oue gentleman at the Hutt Park course the other day, as everybody knows, found his two pounds invested in the machine produce him L 175. As long as these little events transpire the totalisator will be popular. It would have been impossible for our friend above mentioned to have got any odds from the bookmakers that would have produced him that handsome result.

It is like breaking the bank at Monaco. That is the little operation that keeps alive the popularity of that celebrated gambling hell. Everybody knows that all tho systems that ever were invented and patented by their owners as infallible are absolutely untrustworthy in every respect. Everybody knows that, nevertheless, it is possible to break the bank. When the bank is broken there is always a great rush to the tables. In like manner an occasional big dividend keeps the totalisator green in the memory of the people. It is a rooted conviction amongst them that the totalisator is a very good sort of “horse-race gambling machine.”

Less pleasant was tlie unexpected in the shape of the explosion at Shelly Bay the ocher day. I do not mean that the verdict of the jury was unpleasant to Captain Falconer quite the reverse. Nor do I insinuate that the verdict was unexpected. After the death and suffering the most unexpected and unpleasant feature of this story is the fact that an officer in the service has been left without the War Office circulars regulating the method of handling the most dangerous explosive known to military science. It is a very unscientific method of managing a scientific department.

The result of the Middle Park sale is another instance of the unexpected and pleasant. Sporting men as a rule did not expect to see the thick end of L6OOO realised for the stock. It only shows, as Sylvia Park showed the other day, that the extreme measure of forcing a sale can sometimes be the very best policy. The stallions did not sell, but then stallions are very difficult stock to get rid of unless they are highly fashionable. The stud once possessed the most fashionable Btallion in New Zealand in Traducer. Those were its pahny days. Traducer’s successor failed to hit the public taste, and very soon the fame of Musket filled the air. The stud is now a thing of the past, and so I hope are the liabilities of the owners.

As we are dealing with the unexpected —somebody said it is always happening — let us take another look at the beautiful Mrs Frank Sheldon, the “female Stanley,” as she is called, of whom we talked a little last week. I have just seen the account of her departure from London. She was seen off by a 3 many people as would have been drawn together by some great empress. Society does not appear to know whether co be amused or to bo alarmed cn the lady’s account. But it admires her very much, and it admires the beautiful palanquin which has been made at the establishment of the talented Mr Whiteley from designs of the celebrated Mr Welcum. It is described as a unique specimen of strong, light, artistic cane and bamboo work. Take an orange, slice off the two ends—there you have the shape of the thing. The lower half is made of basketwork, the upper consists of curtains stretched on hooping. The interior is fitted in a Btyle of great comfort and luxury. The enthusiastic reporter pronounced it equal in every respect to a Pullman palace car. Add poles for tho bearers and tho thing is complete.

What connection has this to the unexpected ? Well, only this, that if the lady ever gets back from those wilds in fested with evil tribes, that will bo tho unexpected. Society, looking at her jewels, her costumes, her fal lals, appears to have thought that she had just stepped down from the stage of burlesque. Tho poor creature is burlesquing, or rather was burlesquing, for she probably is now getting very near serious work. When she gats into the heart of Africa it will be very serious for her indeed, and for the stewardess, her companion, who has heard so many stories of African travel that she now thinks that blio is an experienced African traveller herself.

Yet another instance of the unexpected. Did you ever hear cf prophetic plagiarism? Try to imagine what prophetic plagiarism is. Do you give it up ? Very well. We will introduce a little story about Lord Mayor Savory and his little sermon. Lord Mayor Savory preached a very eloquent sermon just the other day—where precisely I have forgotten, but in some temple where he is accustomed to that kind of exercise. The Pall Mall Gazette thereupon discovered a sermon of Spurgeon’s identical in every respect with the sermon delivered by hi 3 Lordship. The awkward thing was that the Spurgeon sermon had been delivered and printed in year 1861. The editor politely sent a message to My L' rd, asking if he had any remark to make upon the untoward circumstance. My Lord replied that he had never heard the sermon and would much like to have a copy. Thereupon the editor proceeded to gratify his wißh by printing

copious extracts from both sermons in parallel columns in his newspaper. I could give them here, but Mr Editor, who has a heart of stone and a mind which dwells upon space requirements exclusively, would feel cold at the very suggestion ; therefore I refrain. But I can lay my hand on my heart and say that when the editor declared that verbatim et literatim, there was hardly any difference between the two, he was perfectly correct.

He has devoted to the treatment of the incident one of the finest examples of irony it has ever been my lot to read. He declares that it is now proved that, besides thought transference, of which so much lias been hoard ia our time, “phrase transference” and “ serimn transference ” are likewise intellectual possibilities. He gravely accepts as a fact that one man can spontaneously reproduce something thatanother man has done many years before. He goes on to “ embalm ” in his columns the “literary curiosity” which proves this singular fact. Ha adds that anybody can purchase a copy of the original sermon tor the small sum of one penny at au establishment which he names in full ; and he winds up by solemnly declaring that Mr Spurgeon is now in some danger of the accusation of prophetic plagiarism. Now you know what prophetic plagiarism is. Prophetic plagiarism iE good.

The editor wrote also to Mr Spurgeon about this remarkable case. Mr Spurgeon wrote a short note in reply. Ho began by stating that the thoughts of his sermon of 1861 certainly did occur to him at the time. He could not say whether the same thoughts had occurred to anyone else, but he thinks that they must have done. He went on to mention that ho delivered hi 3 sermon extempore and had the report there and then immediately printed. That is all he knows about it. The editor headed thi3 little letter “ Savory on Toast.”

In his paper there ia an unpretentious little paragraph which completes his reference to the subject. It merely announces that as My Lord is about to preach another sermon on a given date, he has heard that a deputation from the Psychical Society is to attend on the chance of witnessing further phenomena in possible illustration of tho principle of sermon transference ! It ia very delicate and very cutting.

Mr C. J. Owen, who has lately been appointed to tho Wellington District Agency of the Mutual Life Association of Australasia, arrived by thes.s. Penguin on Wednes. day from Christchurch.

Hcginbotham, architect, of Nelson, formerly of Wellington, has been declared a bankrupt. His liabilities ave in all £ll9 14s lOd, his assets, consisting of boob debts ana furniture, are valued at £44, leaving a deficiency of £75 14s lOd. By the Rotorua on Wednesday two long, sentence prisoners, Edwards and McKenzie, were brought over from Blenheim for incarceration in the Terrace Gaol. They were sentenced to six and nine months respectively, for larceuy, at the Supreme Court. The Premier has been informed by the haw Officers, to whom he submitted the quention of bills of lading brought to hia notice by the deputation from the Chamber of Commerce, that the Colonial Legislature has no power to make laws affecting con* tracts made elsewhere.

Amongst the changes in the Department of Justice are tho following:—Captain Tuke, now at Opunake, take 3 temporary charge of the Chatham?, where a man of firmness of character is required. Mr Preece goes from Napier to Kaiapoi, and Mr Turnbull goes from Nelson to Napier.

At a Cabinet meetiug on Wednesday the estimates were discussed. It was decided that the salary of the Consulting Engineer in London should be changed to’Railways instead of the Public Works Department, as last year the amount paid to Mr Blackett was £9OO, whereas tho total imports of material for tho Department were of the value of £IOOO.

Mr Humphries, Commissioner of Lands at Auckland, who ha 3 received notice of his transfer to Invercargill, has petitioned the Government to allow him to remain at his present station, as he fears the removal to a colder climate will have a disastrous effect on members of hia family, who are in a delicate state of health. The matter has been referred to the Minister of Lands to deal with.

At a meeting of the Provisional Committee of the proposed Boys’ Institute held ou Monday evening, Mr J. G. W. Aitken was elected chairman, and Mr 8. G. Martin, secretary and treasurer. Mr H. Hall’s name was added to the committee. It was announced that the scheme was being well received, subscriptions coming in satisfactorily. Wivh a view to getting the full amount subscribed as soon as possible, that the building may be commenced before winter, arrangements were made for an immediate canvass of the city. Up to date £llO has been received.

Councillor Harris has given notice that he will move at the next meeting of the City Council : the Council on the 26th March, IS9I, .’.ccept* ing the tender of Mr G. H. Bayliaa for the removal of dust and refuse from backyards from a distance not exceeding 20 feet from the back of house, and for the working of the Destructor for the period of one y-ar bo rescinded, and that the tender of Mr G. H. Bayliss for the like service for the term of three years, be accepted, it having been provided in the specifications that the Council would aocept a tender for either one or three years.”

Mr A. Luff, of Wellington, has about 40 head of choice young stock for sale at once. It was stated at a meeting held in Palmerston the other night (says the Manawatu Times) that a block of 17.000 acres of land in the Pohangina, adjoining Captain Mow. Jem’s property, will shortly be opened up. The land is described as being of first class quality and easy of access. The Registrar of Patents on Wednesdayheard and dismissed with costs an application for letters patent by Messrs Anderson, Morrison and Co. (Dunedin), in respect to an invention for obtaining an induced current of air to or from a building for ventilation. Mr J. E. Hayes, of Wellington, represented by Mr W. H. Quick, opposed, and the applicants made no appear, ance.

Some of the young nobles of the Austrian Court are about to make a gift to tho German Empress Augusta Victoria of a fan formed of the feathers of the mountain cock. The handle is to be set with jewels of great splendour. It appears that of lata the belles of Vienna have introduced the fashion of carrying a fan made of the feathers of birds shot by their admirers, an ideal one recording the skill cf sixty or seventy sportsmen.

UgTho proposal to establish a Boys’ Institute is meeting with considerable success, and the following subscriptions have already been received ; —Sir J. Prendergast, £2O ; J. G. W. Aitken, £2O ; W. F. Wheeler (conditional on nine other subscriptions of equal amount), £lO ; A. Hoby, £lO ; S. G. Martin, £10; E. W. Morrah, £5; W. Fergusson, £5; VY. Booth, £5; D. T. Stuart, £2 2s ; E. J. Graham, £2 2s ; A. Johnston, £2 2s ; Ad. Howitt, £2 2s ; G. A. Troup, £2 ; "VV. Hopkirk, £2 ; R. Martin, £1 Is ; G. Tiller, £1 Is ;R. Buckley, £1 Is ; W. C. Fitz Gerald, £1 Is ; H. Hall, £1 Is ; Mrs Herbert Rawaon, £1 la ; L. Haliiwell, £1 Is ; W. W. Knowles, £1 Is; A. J. Rutherford, £1 Is ; W. Cook, £1 ; C. A. Hickson, £1 ; F. Moeller, 10s ; Total, £lll 7a.

octogenarian named Francis Geuden died at Aston, Birmingham, recently, who may be remembered with respect in New Zealand, though he lived and died a poor working man. Thirty years ago he emigrated to New Zealand, having previously vowed that if successful he would present a peal o& bells to the Roman Catholic Church at Erdington. He returned home ia 1887, and at once fulfilled his promise at a cost of £BOO. On the blessing of the bells on January 20, 1878, the Bishop of Birmingham eulogised the old labourer’s pious zeal for the beauty of God’s house. Mr Geuden resided at Erdington until his death. The property he hadacquired in New Zealand he had made over to Bishop Grimes, of Christchurch, some years ago, it being the first landed property the See had acquired. The Hon R. J. Seddon received a telegram on Wednesday from Mr Lomas stating that the Miners’ Conference, now sitting at Greymouth, desired him to thank the Government, and in particular the Minister of Public Works, for having provided work for the unemployed on the co*operative principle. Mr Seddon replied stating that the Government recognised they would not have been doing their duty by the people of New Zealand if they did not provide work for those who were temporarily ont of employment, and stating that he was confident that the cooperative system was the proper one to adopt, and that it would be the only one in the futnre. He suggested that the word “ unemployed ” should be abolished, as ia its general application it referred to those whom the Government found work for on unproductive works, and at a pauper rate of wages for which tho State got nothing but the Government stroke. - At the last monthly meeting of the Otago Board of Education the Board took the op. portnnity afforded by the Ministerial circular covering the Auckland Herald’s article to make the “amende” ts the Minister for its former cavalier treatment of him Dr Hislop led off by telling tbe Board that he had read with great pleasure the Minister’s “ admirable speech on the recent meeting of the North Canterbury branch of the Educational Institute, and also the full report of the interview at Wellington between the Minister and a deputation from the lnsti. tute.” He added that “there could be no doubt that the Minister’s utterances on both occasions give evidence not only of a sound and thorough appreciation of the value of our colonial education system, but also an earnest and intelligent desire on hia part to prove instrumental in improving as far as possible the administration of the scheme.” He concluded hia remarks with the expression cf his opinion “ that the Board were prepared to return a courteous reply to the Minister’s courteous letter, and at the same time to take the opportunity afforded by the Minister’s invitation of expressing their views on some points of importance in connection with our educational system and its administration.” Several members endorsed these remarks, and after a long debate on the educational system, the Board passed the resolutions moved by Dr Hislop on the . subject.