A Distinguished Amateur.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 937, 14 February 1890, Page 8

A Distinguished Amateur.

Our firm is a very well known one—Contango, Margin, and Shorts. I’m very proqd of our firm, though Pm only the junior partner. I am Shorts. As for oqr uncle Contango, he has been dead long ago; but there’s power in the name, and our exceedingly lucrative business will be carried oa pnder the aegis of Contango’s name till the end of the chapter. We are brokers, as everybody knows, and, whatever happens to. our clients, we are safe enough. Some of our best customers from the coqntry sometimes drop in and ash to §ee qncle Contango. We always give them the same stereotyped answer ; ‘Mr Contango isn’t in the'City to-day, and we are not expecting him for a day or two.’ Margin, my' cousin, married my Bister. He is the sporting partner. * The swells ’ always ask for my brother-in-law, Margin, or Jack Margin, as many of them prefer to call him. He lives iu Kensington Palace Gardens ; he wears clothes of a sporting cut, a red necktie, and poses—well —as a vessel of wrath. I don’t think there anything really bad about John Margin. He’s a harmless fellow enough at Kensington Palace Gardens, with his five well-dressed children; and he’s horribly afraid of Anna Maria—that’s my sister. But in the House, and during business hours, he’s a 4 a chappie ;’ he’s Jack Margin,jolly Jack Margin ! '• ' ! • , 4 Cohorts,’ said my brother-in-law one day. 4 I’m going to do a big thing for'the firm. I’m going to become a Pelican, 1 and you’ji have to break it to Anna- Maria,’ and tb.Q idiot pretended to square at me, as thdugq he was a professional boxer. ’ ‘ Left fork \\ «that’s a rib-roaster! —dropped on his conk f and he pretended to Jut me on Various parts of my body. ■'At-first I thought that he was intox : - oated. Not‘a bit of it John Margin" is : a ve<-y keen hshd iud ed, He would have joined the Salvation Army if he had setin 'a possibility of doing business, 'and 1 he'Very soon convinced rue that it yyas in ijh.b interests of the firm that ha had determined to become a Pelican. Anna Maria was very angry indeed. John Margin turned up at unearthly hours, and

he was never at home on a Sunday evening. Then he got bitten with the boxing mania. He bought a first edition of Pierce Egan’s Boxiana, and the next thing the fool did was to go into training. He used to run to the office with several gi-eat coats on—all the way from Kensington to the City—accompanied by a professional fighting-man of the name of Burkin. Burkin was what he called his ‘mentor.’ He used to refresh my cousin John with barley-water out of a stone bottle at frequent intervals ; and when they arrived in Bartholomew Lane, the brute Burkin would rub my brother in-law down in his private room, hissing all the time, as though Anna Maria’s husband were a horse. I began to think that John Margin had gone mad. Why he used to make the customers feel his biceps ! and then, one Sunday night, he had the gloves on with young Lord Fitznoodle, and they sparred for a tenner, as he said, ‘ regular knock-out, good old hammer-and-tongs business, halfminute time,’ whatever that may mean. One thing it certainly meant : it meant a tremendous black eye for John Margin. My blood boiled when I saw Margin’s,eye ; hut I forgave him, for that very day his lordship came and lunched with John in the City— I believe simply in order to inspect the black eye—and from that day his lordship has been a very good client of ours. I totted them up the other day. Since John became a Pelican we’ve made an extra three thousand a year out of speculative

business, mostly options and such-like. I couldn’t afford to be angry with John Margin after suoh a glorious result as that. Now, for the last six weeks Margin had neglected business. The approaching glovefight which took place so early in the morning on Monday last, entirely occupied hia mind. The first symptom was his appearing with ‘Jem’ somebody or other’s ‘ colours ’ as a poeket-bandkerchief. He had a dozen, and he paid a guinea each for them ; and whenever John Margin blew his nose—and he was always blowing his nose—everybody turned round to look at ‘ Jem’s ' ‘colours,’ and to stare at our Mr Margin, of

the firm of Contango, Margin, and Shorts. ‘I have to do it, dear boy,’ my partner would remark airily ; * I have to do it. I’m an “ influental backer,” and our man’ll put the “ kybosh ” on the black.’ I didn’ know what he meant; terms in use among these sportsmen are, to the outsider, as difficult to understand as our Stock Exchange slang. ‘l’m a perfect athlete now,’ my brother-in-law would remark to me. ‘ I have a turn with the dumb-bells every morning before my tub. I have the skin of a woman and the constitution of a horse, and when I strip I’m a sight for sore eyes.’ * It was a week before the great glovefight that Anna Maria sent for me. She was in a towering passion when I arrived at Kensington Palace Gardens. ‘ It’s more than flesh and blood can bear, Fbenezer,’ she said. I shall not stand John’s “goings-on” any longer. He goes to Brighton three times a week tolook after “ his man," as he says. That fellow Burkin is engaged to our cook, who has been with us for seven years, and John is going to put them into a public house—a fighting public house 1 He’s taken down the billiard-table, and he’s got a sixteen-foot ring put up in its place, and on Friday evenings there’s a string of cabs at our door from ten o’clock till two in the morning. And he’s had a bar put up iu the corner of the billiard room, and the floor is sanded ; and dreadful people —prize fighters, journalists, and publicans—come to see John, and drink champagne and whiskey.and-water on those fearful Fridays, and when 1 remonstrate he declares that they are all friends of his, and that he has to do it. And when he isn’t fighting with the wretch Burkin, he’s pummelling a sack of shavings, and he sleeps with his hands in pickle to harden them ; and I’ll be divorced, Ebenezer, for it’s more than I can bear. Why should John be a Pelican ?’ Look at that,’ cried Anna Maria, as she burst into tears, and handed me a pbo’ograph ; ‘he’s giving that away to all his friends.’ It was the portrait of my unfortunate brother-in law : there was an artificial grin upon his face ; he was in boxing attitude ; he was nude to the waist; he wore kneebreeches, white stockings, and ankle-jack

boots ; and underneath the hideous portrait, which was wonderfully like, were the words : * The 3ape l Court Pet. ’ ‘Oh Ebenezer,’ my sister continued, ‘he saj's he’ll he all over London in a fortnight in that indecent costume. I’ll have a commission in lunacy, or I’ll have a divorce,’ saia Anna Maria. ‘ Words can’t express the feelings of a woman who is the mother of the children of a Pelican !’ I did all I could to comfort her, but to no purpose. * I’ll put my foot down,’ said Anna Maria, and she suited the action to the word. ‘He can choose between his Pelicans and me ; and if he goes to Shaftesbury Avenue on Sunday next I’ll leave him for good an 1 all ; and you can go to the City, Ebenezer, and tell him so !’ **•••• r • There was no House, as you kuow, on November 6th, being Lord Mayor’s Day. When my brother-in-law arrived at our office in Bartholomew Lane on the Monday, to ruy mind he looked particularly sheepish. He was dressed much more quietly than usual ; his handkerchief was like the handkerchiefs of the rest of the world.

* Well, John,’ I inquired with some curiosity, ‘ did your protege put the—er—“ kybosh ” on the black V * No, he didn’t,’ replied my brother-in-law very shortly. ‘ Then I suppose you dopped your money pretty heavily ?’ ‘No. I didn’t,’he replied, with a sickly sort of smile, ‘ thanks to Anna Maria and then my senior partner marched off to the “House ” without another word. I followed him about quarter ©f an hour later. Directly I entered I saw that something unusual was taking place. Business was at a standstill. My brother in-law, John Margin, was standing on a chair surrounded by some four hundred members of the House, apparently engaged in preaching a sermon, which w»s listened to with an extraordinary and respectful attention by the excited crowd gathered lound him.

'At twenty minutes past one,’ said Jack, ‘ the men faced each other. Jackson had the advantage in height and length of reaoh ; betting was 5t04 on the black. The men shook hands, and time was called. The black feinted, and “Jem” landed a little one on the body ; but Jackson replied with a smack full on the dial, and Smith planted, just above the belt, a heavy left-hander, whioh nearly drove the black against the ropes. Smith then shoved the darkey over with his shoulder, after a desperate rally; but Jackson, nob to be denied, planted his left fork with terrific force on the countinghouse, and Smith countered smartly on the body. End of round one.’ Then the four hundred enthusiasts who Burrounded my brother-in -law raised a great shout. Again there was a dead silence. I caught Margin’s eye, and he gave me a knowing wink of recognition. ‘ Round two,’ continued Margin in stentorian tones. * Jackson forced the fighting at a terrific rate, and planted left and right just as he pleased, punishing the champion severely. Smith closed with the black, and there was some splendid give-and-take on the body. After a minute of glorious hammering, Smith, who seemed dazed, clung to the ropes with his right hand, and Jackson landed ding-dong with both mawlers, and then Smith closed with the black and back heeled him heavily. The referee gave the fight to Jackson. I quite agree with the referee ; I should have done the same thing myself.’ Then the four hundred sympathising members gave three cheers for jolly Jack Margin, and the House at once resumed its ordinary appearance. ‘Jack,’l oried in my enthusiasm, slapping my senior partner upon the back, ‘it must have been a glorious sight !’ * It may have been, Ebenezer,’ he replied, ‘ but I didn’t see it. Your sister got out a bottle of the ’47, and I was in bed and asleep by eleven. Your sister’s an uncommonly clever woman, Ebenezer; she saved me thousands, for I meant puting a pot upon the champion. Let’s go and drink her health.

‘ But how did you ascertain all the glorious details, Jack ?/ I cried. ‘I got ’em second hand from Burkin, who was present in his professional capacity,’ replied my senior partner, somewhat sadly.

At the present moment John Margin is the moat popular man 'and the most * distinguished sport ’ in Capel Court. He and nna Maria have made it up. Re is no longer a member of the Pelican Club.