OLD SAWS RE-SET.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 879, 4 January 1889, Page 10

OLD SAWS RE-SET.

“ Keep it dark,” a 3 the old maid whispered when dyeing her hair. “ Come in out of the wet,” as the whale said: to Jonah. “Fired with success,” as the rifleman said when he hit the bull’s eye. “Coming to the scratch,” as the man ejaculated when his wife was flying at him with extended fingers. “ Why don’t you hit someone of your own size V as the tenpenny nail said to the sledge-hammer. “ Render to Seizer the things that are Seizer’s, as the landlord said to the evicted Irish tenant. “ De darkey’s hour is jus’ before de dawn,” as Sambo said when he entered the henhouse and stole two chickens before daybreak. ‘ ‘ It’s a hard world thi3, ” said a chimney sweep who had j ust fallen from a housetop to the ground. “I’ll take the shine out of you,” as the eclipse said to the moon. “I’m transported to see yon,” as the convict said to'the kangaroo. “ Mistakes will occur,” as the excited speaker said when he found himself flourishing his wife’s nightcap for a handkerchief before a convulsed audience. “Splendid opening for a young man,” as the crocodile remarked as he extended his enormous jaws.

“Marriage is a failure,” said Smith when his wife’s extravagance brought him to the Bankruptcy Court. “ I could easily lick the lot of you, remarked the schoolboy to the bottle of brandy balls. “This job will be a dead 1053,” as the sexton said when he buried his wife. “I’m fonder of drams than scruples,” as the drunkard said to the apothecary. “I’ll get to the bottom of this,” as the man said when he fell into the well. “After you, sir,” as the pan said to the dog. “ Verygood, but rather pointed,” as the fish said when it swallowed the bait. “This is what I call capital punishment,” as the boy chuckled to himself when his mother shut him up in a closet among the preserves. “ I see through it now ” cried the servant girl when she knocked the bottom out of the milk jug. “ That’s a very hard case,” as the Irishman said when he hit his friend on the head.