QUIPS AND CRANKS.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 866, 5 October 1888, Page 7

QUIPS AND CRANKS.

Milk Street. —Frenchmen are not precisely famous for their familiarity with the English language, and one finds odd mistakes even in semi-official publications, where they are hardly to be expected, in the 4 Catalogue Illustto ’ of the Salon this year tbo titles of the pictures in the illustrated portion are translated into English, and I find 4 Bonhomme—A Goodman,’ 4 L’Etainer—The Tinman,’ and 4 Souse la Feuilltie—Under the Leave,’ But the gem of the collection is certainly the following : 4 L 3 voie lacks’ peinture decorative—Milk Street!’—Truth. , At the Bethel.—City Mi:sionary : Don’t you often hear a still, small voice in the depths of your being, tolling you that some thing is wrong?’ Unregenoraio Sailor : ‘C’oseldops, parson; how’d you know?’ Missionary : * Never mind. Do you know what that voice is ?’ Sailor: ‘Not edzactly.’ Missionary: 4 It’s conscience.’ Sailor: 4 If I keteh hold of that Liverpool fakir that charged me eleven shillin’s for tellin’ me it wor indigestions, I'll massacree him 1’ 4 Derby Antioipations.’-.By Major Growler : Drive down—dust—dirt —N.E. wind, lose money, time (probably watch), temper, health, and laid up for weeks afterwards. By our Mark Tapley]: No Derby without

dust—fresh wind—N.E. wind, or 4 N.E. wind’ you like—jolly lunch— lose a jolly lot or win jolly companions jolly hot, or cold holiday jolly day jolly good headache jolly well tired. Punch. Base ingratitude.—Crack Jockey : ‘ Look here, my Lord, I’ve had a Turkish bath and walked miles in horse-cloths every morning this last fortnight, so as I could ride your colt at the weight; and now, blest if I didn’t see in to-day’s paper as you was a-putting your foot down on the sweating system.’— Fun. The real Bcilly Isles.—lf we don’t see to perfecting onr army and navy, so as to be ready in case of an emergency, Great Britain and Ireland will be known as 4 The Very Silly Isles.’—Punch.