Odds and Ends.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 313, 20 April 1878, Page 3

Odds and Ends.

Greece has slipped out of the fight. How to find anything in a dark room. Strike a light. Advice to old ladies who take tea —Take t’easy. The denizens of the oil regions live on the fat of the land. Twenty-five cents will buy an entire paper suit in Japan. How to be wise—Don’t imagine you know everything. To the coal dealer—learn to labor and to weigh it. A song heard by a hive : “Bee it ever so humble there’s no place like comb.” It is singular that no histriograplier ever hunted up the last words of the first man. A oood bony gentleman of 170 pounds will yield, on cremation, one and a half pounds of first-class ashes. Persons deficient in sand should eat strawberries after a rain. When strawberries are not in season eat sugar. Sunday-school Teacher—-Who was the strongestman? Boy—Jonah; because the whale couldn’t hold him after lie got him down. A little girl, while watching the rain, turned round to. her mother aid said: “ Ma, I guess the weather’s so warm it’s melting the clouds.” Weary person on evening visit: “Aw, ’m just out of a sick bed.” Terrible boy; “Say, Mr Johnson, what ails your bed ?” In France ninety-live per cent, of the murders are committed for money ; in Spain ninety-eight of every hundred murders are inspired by motives [of jealousy o love. A recent return shows that infant mortality in H dland exceeds that in England and Wales by 55 per ce J. This is what keeps down the Dutch population. N i cause is assigned. In Russia a husband may appear as a witness in a la vsuit against his wife, but a wife is not heard against h;r husband, neither has she any redress against him if lie deserts her. A telei’hone has already been placed in the House of Commons to enable the editors of one of the leading London newspapers to hear by word of mouth the latest new.? of the Parliamentary debates. Better the ragged plough-boy, Who sings and cares for naught, 'Than the bank cashier, witli ten thousand a year, And a hundred thousand short. Augustus, my love, what are you thinking about ■so intently ?” “ Why, Aurelia, you know when we’re married we shall be made one, and I was trying to make out which one of us this one would be.” “ Them: pottery things js really nice,” said Mrs. Veneering, at Brown’s ; “ me and my daughter Maria has got the rage, you know, and buy all we kin git. But what on earth is they intended for ?” A Connecticut man, whose death was falsely reported in a newspaper, writes : “ 1 have no thought of • dying. I couldn’t afford it, when funeral expenses are higher than a kite, and potatoes worth only fifty cents a bushel at Waterbury.” King Alfonso and his bride amused themselves before their marriage by conversing through a telephone connecting the palace of the King and that of Mranjuez, where the Princess and her family were s.aying. An American lady who had married a Frenchman of rank and in good circumstances, says that none know, until they have lived en famille in France, what economy in its true sense means ; how, in fact, the most can be made of everything. A prim a donna at the Imperial Opera in St Petersburg was called out twenty times, and at last made a . grateful speech and sang a Russian national song. The management subsequently fined her 200 C francs for “ addressing the audience without permission.” Just as a Biddeford, Me., youngster was disappear ing from a school-room the other day, on the tearful excuse that his mother was dead,the teacher asked him when she died. “ Four years ago, ma’am,” was ■ the reply. And the teacher had sense enough to let . him go. “ A baby in the house is a well-spring of pleasure.” Please cut this out and paste it on a goose-grease bottle, so that you may be gently admonished to take a correct view of the situation the next time you have to get up> .. at 12 P. M. on account of the well-spring’s showing croupy symptoms. A co-operative society of working women in Paris, - in the hope of obtaining steady work and remunerative , prices, have opened a shop at 2 Boulevard du Temple for the manufacture and sale of underclothing for both sexes, and of flowers, hats and dresses for women. ■ There is also an association of journeymen tailors; established on a firm basis at 72 Boulevard Sebastopool and 33 Rue Turbigo, which advertises that it obtained . a prize at the Philadelphia Exposition. Princess Olothilde, the wife of Prince Napoleon, »• did not go to Rome for her father’s funeral. The pub- . lie explain her absence as owing to her been on bad - terms with the Prince, and preferring to lose even the last sight of her father to meet her husband. But the truth is that she was witlield by religious scruples. During her father's lifetime she would never visit him .at Rome. She looked upon his rule at Rome as a usurpation of the moat grievous character, and no persu.osion could induce her to attend at Ro.ne the King of Italy’s funeral.

A case of mixed relationship is that of a man in Atlanta, Ga., who is married to his third wife. His son by a former wife has married his present wife’s younger sister, while his daughter has married his present wife's brother. In 1735 a man was pressed to death at Horsham (England) for obstinately remaining dumb when placed upon trial at Lewes Assizes. The weights placed upon the unhappy man were gradually increased to a total of 350 pounds, when the executioner completed his task by adding his own weight, 225 pounds. The French Minister of Public Works lias laid plans for the execution of new lines of railways and canals which will cost for the former 3,000,000.003 francs, and for the latter 1,000,000,000 francs. It is expected that these works will consume ten years in their construction. JS ear Berlin, Germany, is a church building circular within and octagon without, and capable of seating 1000 persons, whose reliefs outside and statues within, roof, celling, and Corinthian capitals are papiermache, rendered waterproof by saturation in vitriol, lime-water, whey, and white of eggs. The King of Italy is said to have made but one alteration in the Minister’s draft of his accession proclamation. In the sentence. “ Italians your first King is dead. His successor must prove that institutions do not die,” the King it is said, at his wife’s suggestion, substituted “ will” for “must.” The City of Madrid is by no means an attractive or popular residence. It is described as situated nearly in the centre of the loftiest plateau in Spain, in a great gloomy plain, of which only two fifths are regularly cultivated. It has no suburbs, and in winter its surroundings are gloomy and cheerless. In a work published in 1824 by Sir James Lawrence, he says that any one might then imrcliase a title in Germany at from 250 dol. to 500 dol, and that an English advertising quack doctor of the lowest kind absolutely negotiated for a German barony, and would have got it too, but for the British Ambassador. A brother of Bishop Clark was one of the wittiest men alive. It runs in the family. He once went to see one of his parishioners, a lady with a prodigious family, which had recently been increased. As he rose to leave, the lady stopped him with, “ But you have not seen my last baby.” “No,” he quickly replied ; “ and I never expect to !” Then he lied. The Russian nobility are numerous, and, as a class, by no means rich. Previous to emancipation, about twenty years ago, a land proprietor was not thought wealthy unless he possessed at least 500 serfs. But only 3863 proprietors had more than that number, while 41,000 had less than 21. An exchange says there is a man out West so dirty that the assessors put him down as real estate. This reminds us of the soldier who while home on a furlough during the war called on the wife of a brother soldier to tell her the latest news. “Ah,” said she, perhaps by this time poor Jimmy’s under the soil of Virginia. “Perhaps so,” replied the visitor; “lie was an inch under it when I last saw him.” Mrs. Goli ghtly (fishing for a compliment) : “Ah ! Mr. McJoseph, beauty is the most precious of all the gifts for a woman ! I'd sooner possess beauty than anything in the world !” Mr. McJoseph (under the impression that he is making himself agreeable): “ I’m sure, Mrs. Goliglitly, that any regret you may possibly feel on that score must be amply compensated for by—er—tlie consciousness of your moral worth, you know — and of your various accomplishments !” Golden Leaves. —She was searching over the golden leaves which the frosts of October had detached from the stiffened twigs...--Her auburn hair took on the glint of gold as tbAbright sun streamed down over chimney and roof and tree-top, and the tender lines around her mouth deepened as she whispered, “O golden leaves, your life is typical of ” At that moment her mother came down to the gate, sleeves rolled up, and her big red hands hiding the view of the back yard. “ Pawing over them leaves agin, ar’ ye?” she exclaimed, as she caught sight of the sentimental maiden. “ Well, now, you trot in here, and wash out the rest of them colored clothes, or I’ll paw you, I will!” “ Yes, mother dear, but these golden ” “Trot, Isay! Good bar-soap is the goldenest thing in the market, and a washboard costs more money than all the yaller leaves on the street.” And the gentle maiden trotted.