WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXVII, Issue 23850, 28 December 1940, Page 2 (Supplement)

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING

A XY (I ay now an official .statement is expected from the Williebnstrass.c giving details of the Fuehrer's first New Year Irresolution. • —Punch, London. Loot pi'-MOTHS that the Winged Victory and ihe Monna Lisa have already been conveyed to Germany bound probably true, Hitler being one of those wealthy art-collectors who can resist anything but temptation. —D. B. Wyrulham Lewis, in the Bystander, London. Loquacious Coolidye J3KFORE Calvin Coolidge left for the White House, so the story goes, his Vermont neighbours decided to recognise his devotion to the old farm by giving him a handmade rake. They made the presentation an elaborate ceremonial. The orator who presented the rake dwelt on the qualities of the hickory wood from which lie said it was made. " Hickory," he said, " like the President is sturdy, strong, resilient, unbroken," and so on, and so on. Then lie handed the rake to Mr. Coolidge and the audience settled back tor the speech of acknowledgement. The President turned the implement- over scrutinised it carefully, and then made his address in a single word. '"Ash," he said. —Christian Science Monitor. Granite-faced, But Kindly £JOLONKL S. T. WOOD, the present head of the "Motilities," has served in them all his life. He looks the granite-faced police chief, but is in reality genial and kindly. One thing, however, makes him very angry. He objects to his men being, as he puts it, looked upon as something like a travelling circus. The force is now mechanised, but the horses remain. So do the scarlet tunics of the men The officers' tunic is blue.

Wrong Order "TJILLING! miul cooing?" I'lease pardon 111 _>• laughter; The cooing conies Jirst.; The billing conies alter! • —Avery Giles, in the Saturday Evening' Post.

In the Dark ju 1 01' six hours the young couple were in a shelter during an air raid. "Do you know, darling," he said, "if I d known we wore going to be so long in the dark I'd have kissed you?" "An" was it not you?" she asked in surprise. —S. Sadcm, Barkingsido Not Quite r P 11 K boxer had just arrived home after a journey through the darkened streets. When lie got in, it was seen that he had a black eye. "IJullo!" said his brother, "how'd you get that? Got it knocked in the black-out ?" "Xo." grunted the boxer. "Got it blacked in the knock-out!" —Parade, London. Thumb Rings LpROM the 11th to the Kith centuries the wedding ring was worn on the right hand; during George l.'s reign attempts were made to popularise a fashion of wearing it on the thumb. —Tit-Bits, London Tale of a Tip \TOT long ago an old gentleman went to stay at a popular hotel on Lake Michigan, and his first meal created a stir, for he left a penny as a tip. All the waitresses were furious, except .Mary, and the, next morning when the old gentlen;«ii came down to breakfast all but Mary looked at him with scorn. .Mary took his order, and when he had gone found another penny tip. for weeks the old gentleman stayed at the hotel, and Mary would always bring his meals, his tip being invariably ;i penny. Mary saved them. One day he told her he was going home, and thanked Mary for her kindness. "Do you know how many pennies f have given you?" he asked. Mary did; there were 10:1. The old gentleman took out his cheque-book and wrote a cheque for 103 dollars. "This is for you," he said, "and thank you." —Children's Newspaper, London.

"Bang goes Saxpence" SOLDI KM who was wounclod at Dunkirk and is home on leave volunteered for guard duty at a Central London hospital that was hit. He said that people in the district gave (id. to a Spitfire* fund every time a bomb dropped in the area. —Daily Chronicle, London. Music Hath Charms IX a south-east district of London which has received several visits from enemy raiders there lives a friend of mine who has made his commodious cellar a comfortable dormitory. Hut he can't shut out the nightly din of barrage and bombs 'While this is at its height sleep is impossible, so to take the minds of his family and friends who share this shelter ofF the raid he puts oil the gramophone. One night there was a knock at his front door. Going to answer it my friend recognised the form and voice of hi-next-door neighbour, who also sleeps in his cellar. ''l say. old man " said the neighbour, even as the crash of an anti-aircraft snlvo rent the heavens, "would you mind turning off your gramophone? It's keeping us awake." —Evening News, London. Breach of' Peace AX elderly couple were charged with creating a breach of the peace in their home. "Mow did you come to cause this disturbance at your own 'fireside?" asked the Judge. "Well, it was like this," replied the old woman "John and I were sitting at the fire. John was reading his newspaper and I was thinking. I turned to him and said: 'John, sheep are awfu' stupid, aren't they?' And John said: 'Yes, my lamb.' " —London Opinion. Jobs /"\IIEEK thing but we always think every other man's job is easier than our own. And the better he does it, the easier it looks. —Eden Phillpotts.

"Old Crock" Beats Nazi SERGKAN I'-Pl LOT flying a damnged Spitfire to a repair base ran into an air battle over south-east England. forgetting that his machine was officially regarded as "unfit for action," the sergeant at once tackled a Messersehniitt'loo. lie closed in to ten yards range and gave the German a burst. The Mcsserschmitt crashed into the sea. —Daily Express, London. Nothing to Say 1" ])() not think that I need apologise fov troubling this House. I do not trouble it very often, and I do not keep it very long. Probably that is flue to a pearl of wisdom 1 once heard dropped from the 15.15.C: —it is not very often that you get them —by a music-hall artist, .who is also a philosopher. He sai'l to his partner: ''This woidd would be a much happier place to live in if only the people who have nothing to say would not say it." —J. IT. Hollings, M.l'., in the House of Commons. "My Mistake" TX London one i.s impressed by the humorous cocksureness of people describing the differences in 'planes too high to be seen and almost too high to be heard. "Our Spitfires," a man said to me the other night. A few seconds later there were a few dull thuds. "My mistake, L think," he said with a laugh. -—Newcastle Journal.

"Cheer up, Bill, it won't be long before we sight the Deytschland." —Answers, London Air Battles > I ( )XE result of man's taking to the air as a battlefield is that we get the opposite of a bird's-eye view of the fighting. Xever before in history have there been such "spectacular" battles as those of the week. Anyone along tho coast could look on at the "airy navies grappling in the central blue," and photographers took snapshots of the falling 'planes. Even our hostilities are now "proclaimed upon the housetops." —Observator, in the Observer, London. In the Fashion T ITTLE Beulah Mary took some pennies to her infants' school as a contribution toward a present for a teacher who was to he married. At dinner-time mother asked what had been bought with the money. "1 don't really know," said the small one, "but I think it's a Split Eire." —The Manchester Guardian.