LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXVI, Issue 23429, 19 August 1939, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

By MERCUTIO

Quite inexplicable WHY should the Cook Strait telephone cable have broken? There is no special tension between the two islands at the moment. Two Kinds of Cooler A magistrate remarked during the week that he bad heard a great deal about milk coolers, but : , the first lie bad seen was one just produced in court. Yet magistrates, ought to be familiar with the cooler; they send plenty of people there. National Corner Stone A net profit of £65,216 was made from nine art unions last financial year. The work of building a nation proceeds apace. Sorrows of the Taxpayer Truly the taxpayer of to-day is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward. The social security levy, the coining increase in the income tax, and all sorts of imposts, make his lile a worry. And the poor man dare not think of dying to escape"if all, because he knows that there is a prospect of his death duties being increased. Then again he cannot contemplate with equanimity the idea of attempting to drown his sorrows in drink. The higher beer duty would be reflected in every cork that lie drew, or .in every glass that he raised to his lips. The remorseless tax-gatherer gets him all ways and always. Jndeed a merciless and ljnfeeline world! The Song of the Prune Steps arc being taken to ascertain whether it is possible for New Zealand's consumption of prunes to be met by local production. Optimists are singing quite a cheerful song regarding the proposal. No doubt those, responsible for the venture know a thing or two. There are plenty of wrinkles in the game. Control of Whitebait Plans for the control of whitebait are being considered,- and those interested aro anxiously waiting to see how the effort will pan out. It is certainly desirable, if the liberties of the public are not to bo reduced to fritters, that these ferocious creatures should ho kept under strict control. .So far notliing appears to have been done to prevent them being at large at all hours of the day and night. A kind of curfew bell ordinance might do some good. They should not be off the chain after dark. Why the Rivalry? When Auckland, last week-end, experienced a slice of typical Wellington weather, everybody, regardless of Wellington's feelings, commented upon it, in spite of the fact that Wellington can hardly be blamed for the weather it gets. It is just another example of parochialism run riot, such as makes it so dangerous for an Aueklan,der visiting Wellington to mention air bases. Even the emus in our /.oo are getting the civic spirit which makes them want to put it across the Wellington birds, which, in spite of winds and sleet, came out on top last laying season. "Hot Money" Problems A great deal has been written about, tlio flight of capital recently and the effect of the so-called "hot money" on economic life. In his own small sphere Morcutio has experienced similar difiinulties, for the way in which money burns a liolo in his pockets is really a problem. 1 '

No Change Given A New Zoalander. travelling abroad amused himself trying to change Now Zealand banknotes. He was lucky lu\ wasn't arrested. The only person who would accept the documentary evidence of our coinage was an outback-priest in Australia who "took them with his eyes open." And that is. a reminder of the American tourist in a small village church in South Uussia, where the practice apparently was usual ol announcing the total ol the collection. In due course the priest turned to his flock. "The collection to-day amounts to 18 roubles 40 kopeks," he told them, "and if the note the American gentleman has given us is genuine we will have ten dollars extra.?

Volts and Re-volts When a railway track was recently built over a few electric cables, fear of trouble was expressed by the Auckland Electric Power Board. Few people appeared even mildly interestd. Accustomed as we are to sitting mctaphoiically on furniture padded with guncotton, how could we be moved by a few volts—especially when there are around us so many revolts of one kind and another? Sundry Super Bridges

A correspondent writing to Mercutio gives vent to much bitterness of soul, and, .among other tilings, complains of the number of "useless bridges" that Mr. Scmple is building. He is inspired by a news item to suggest an economy "congenial with those at present in hand." "How 'would it be," he asks, "to economise on the amount spent in maintaining the Government lighthouse boat Matai? It would be easy. Sell the boat and build bridges from every lighthouse to the mainland."

Military Camouflage No longer is a wet canteen known as such by the Army Department. Its official designation is an "expense.*' An expense is to be provided in the institute building to be erected at the Royal Air Force Base at Hobsonville. At first sight the change in name seems to'ho more military camouflage. Possibly its originator did not have the line in mind, "T'expenso of spirit" that occurs in a Shakespearean sonnet, but Air Force officers will admit that the Oxford dictionary comes closer to the general idea than was perhaps originally realised in giving a definition of expense its. "an outlay in execution of a commission." The Good Old Days The controversy between complete frankness and tact is age old and has probably been argued by every nation in every age. The Whangarei correspondent of the Hehald was apparently an ardent dcyotee of truth at the expense of diplomacy when l*e wrote the following item 50 years ago: " The second bank has opened at Whangarei. •This is splendid. If one of the banks won't give us an overdraft, we can threaten them with, 'the next money we get will be lodged iii the other fellow's bank.' " Bonus for Wheat The Government lias announced that growers of Marquis wheat will receive 6d a bushel more than that paid for Tuscan. Although there is bound to bp consternation in the ranks of Tuscany, there is no doubt that some recognition should be given to the standing of a Marquis. ' s