LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXVI, Issue 23339, 6 May 1939, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

1. By MERCUTIO =====

Attic Argument

WHEN the crew of a Greek steamer in port at Auckland had a difference with the captain about receiving a hit of pay, a long and heated argument followed. The Greeks, apparently, had a lo,t of words for it. An Histo/tc Character

The oldest resident of Waimate, Mrs. Ann. Hubbard, celebrated her 100 th birthday last Sunday. With the century passed, it is not disrespectful to congratulate old Mrs. Hubbard; may lier cupboard never be bare.

Learning to Float Pending the raising of a loan for £18,500, mainly to construct its Olympic swimming pool, the Newnuirkct Borough Council is being allowed to hypothecate debentures to that amount. Is it expected that it will bo easier to float the loan after the swimming pool is completed? Gleam in the Clouds

Ono Auckland business man has found a good, if unexpectedly good, feature in tho famous list of import prohibitions and restrictions, He planted his foot squarely on a mass of masticated chewing-gum the office boy had parked in the middle of the floor. Then ho remembered. "Chewing-gum, 100 per cent, 100 per cent, 100 per cent. ' » Shortage Averted

Word comes from Wellington that there is an acute shortage of plasterers in New Zealand. Plasterers may bo scarce, but the plastered are not so likely to be, since tho danger of an import ban on whisky has been averted. Trial and Error A learned judge suggests that the present import control system is a process of trial and error, precisely; who over makes the errors, the importers have to bear the trials. Hurrah for Principle!

Four hundred women agreed at a mooting held in Christohurch that they would refuse to pay the social security levy. Four hundred Joan Hampdens—hut not village Hampdens, please. Christchurch is touehv about these things. Adolf's Theme Song

In the most plaintive tone of voire, Herr Hitler managed to indicate to tjie world during his much-publicised broadcast that ho was a maligned and misunderstood man. who wanted nothing but friendship. Danzig with tears in his eyes, so to speak. Balancing the Budget

After a long wait in a queue she duly presented her social security registration form, received a booklet, paid her os, and received her receipt. With it came a voluminous income-tax and social security return, and the explanation that this had to be filled in also. Being thoroughly honest, and just perhaps the slightest hit vindictive, she could not leave the "unearned income" section blank, and duly entered "savings bank interest, Is fid." .She is now waiting her chance to hand in the completed return, with the magnificent sum of Id tax, '

Without Gravy An Auckland waiter is slowly recovering. Ho presented his menu to a lady diner, and at tho same time lennecj forward confidentially and murmured: "I. can recommend the lapin roti aux legumes de saison, mndamp." And /tnadame replied: "Rabbit, please." Wrong Moment The clergyman was nenring the end of nil aggressive sermon. "Begone, Satan," he thundered. "Get ye gone." It is perhaps unfortunate but none the less true that an inoffensive old lady among the congregation, feeling a little faint, chose this moment to rise from her pew and totter slowly toward the door and fresh air. . • Prime Minister's New Home The purchase by the Government of a new home for the Primo Minister in Wellington, on tho breezy heights of Northland, marks a new departure in regard to the location of Ministerial residences. The earliest days of the existing official dwellings date far back into tho pre-motor age, when it was considered advisable that Ministers should be within easy walking distance of Parliament House. That is now not necessary, and a Prime Minister is 110 longer bound to the lowly areas of tho Thorndon flats. Also, the new policy accords with the slogan of "onward and upward." Two Well-known Residences

The Molesworth Street residence which Mr. Savage will shortly vacate, has not always been the abiding place of Premiers and Prime Ministers. Although it was the home of Mr. Scddon and Mr. Forbes, more heads of Governments have resided at the wellknown "No. 260"' Tinakori Road. This building was occupied over half a century ago bv Sir Julius Vogel. It has since, for varying periods, been the borne of, among others. Mr. Ballanee, Sir Joseph Ward, Mr. Massc.v and Mr. Coates. Many people have been drawn to its portals as guests of Prime Ministers or as suppliants for divers favours. About two years ago the structure became a dental clinic. Thus, in a sense, it is still a good draw. The Eclipse at Midnight

That somewhat infrequent phenomenon, a total eclipse of the moon, which occurred this week, lost much of its interest from the fact that it was "put on" just after midnight. Jt was all right for nocturnal workers, but for the majority of people who keep "decent hours" and whoso astronomical sense is not. over strong, it was bereft of keen attraction. As the sky is supposed to be the limit of tlio present Government's guiding hand, why should not the lunar orb and other celestial bodies —Venus and Mercury, for instance —be subjected to appropriate discipline? Something For Nothing

The scheme by which cablegrams of a social nature were transmitted free to mark the inauguration of the reduced rates last Monday, proved popular with New Zealanders, and as might be expected, the very first free message came from Duncdin. It was also stated in Auckland, although on doubtful authority, that the Chief Post Office at Dunedin ran out of ink, so manj* Scotsmen having turned up, with fountain pens, to send their free cablegrams.