THE DEPARTURE

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23121, 20 August 1938, Page 12 (Supplement)

THE DEPARTURE

THE doctor -was worried. He shook his head while she spoke to him. "If you thought you recognised the man on the platform, why didn't you talk to him 1" he asked. '• Norah sat fussing with the gardenia on her dark tweed suit. She had explained the whole incident so carefully to him just a moment ago. "I wanted to, but I was afraid to," she said dully. "Then when I made up my mind, somehow I foupd myself 011 the train. And he was left on the platform. He said something to me, but I didn t catch it. The doctor shook his head again. "There was no man on tlio platform," he said. "It is all part of your —your sickness. Your trouble. That man existed only in your mind. I know that you are convinced you saw your sweetheart on the elevated platform and heard him say something. But, my dear Miss Arthur, it is all part of this illness of youi mind. You must believe me. 1 have seen so many cases like yours. In another three or four months, when you are well, you will see why I am so positive." She drew a deep, discouraged sigh ami prepared to begin all over again with the sharp experience of the past hour. Perhaps if she spoke slowly, carefully. "Doctor, you don't seem to understand at all," she said. "I imagined nothing. 1 saw him. 1 know his face, his gestures. And when you remember that this was to be our wedding day ... He wasn't there when I first came one oil the platform. 1 was walking back and forth, back and forth, waiting for the train, and then suddenly I saw him, sitting there, with liis bags, packed and strapped, at his feet. He must have come while I had my back turned . . "I know, I know," interrupted Dr. Waldron kindly. "This is the third time you've told me. You noted a strange, wild look in his eyes that drew you oven though it frightened you. You kept walking back and forth, trying to muster up enough courage to speak to liim. You were aware of his eyes staring at you and calling you but you were afraid. And then your train pulled in and you got on. And as it was drawing out of the station you could see his lips moving and you could hear his voice though you couldn't understand what lie was saying. Isn't that so?" Norah nodded.

"Yes, but my dear girl, your reason must tell you that it is an utter impossibility. Your young man died six months ago. You've told me so frequently. Dead six months. Now come. Be sensible. How could it have been he?" She looked hard at the doctor. "You don't understand yet. To-day woidd have been our wedding day. We were supposed to bo married to-day, see, Doctor? That's why he was there. Oli, if I only had been brave enough to speak to him, I'd know what to do now. You can't tell me anything, anything at all " Dr. Waldron took her hand. "My dear girl, I can tell you many things, but you must listen to me. You must believe what I tell you. I understand far better than you. You admit that he died. Yes. You were with him at the end. You attended his funeral. So much you know for a fact. Therefore, since you couldn't have seen him on the platform, it must have been a creation of your poor tired mind. You'i;e tired to-night. There are deep lines under your eyes that I don't like to see there "In the . morning, when you' are rested, you will be' able to laugh at this difficult day. Naturally, your overwrought condition couldn't accept the tragedy that to-day was to have been your wedding day. I'll tell you what. To-night you must havo dinner with a friend, a good jolly friend who will make you laugh. Then go to the theatre. See something amusing. Go somewhere to dance afterward, and stay as late as you please. You'll be so tired that you'll sleep like a brick."

She smiled, at his stupidity. For three months now he had been advising diversion of one sort or another. Why were doctors so stubborn, so stupid? Every play had a hero and a heroine. A girl and a boy. Kisses. Whispered things. Herself and Ken. Ken. Sho frowned. In the restaurants the orchestras played love songs. The novels all had love in them. And as for friends, there was no one she knew who had not been a friend of Ken also. It was like tearing the crust off a newly healed wound. But she said to Dr. Waldron. "That's a good idea." He patted her hand gently when she said good-night. His face looked a little worried. He was such a good soul, but such a fool not to be able to seo the plainest things. Out in the street it was almost dark. A row of yellow lights divided the lighter blue of the sky from the darker, more solid blue of the buildings. Traffic filled the Avenue, like a rapid, noisy river. People were hurrying, bent over in arcs to withstand the strong November wind. But to her it felt good, washing her face like fresh cold water. She did what she had to do, what she had dono every night for the past week. She stepped in to telephone at the first drug-store. Stevens 4-0452. After a minute a woman's voice answered the telephone. That colourless female voice answered. Norah remained silent to her querulous hello. The receiver at the other end clicked indignantly into place and the operator's voice now broke in. Norah said, "I'm calling Stevens 4-0452." The operator told her sho was connected. "But that's not the party I want," insisted Norah. "I'm calling Mr. Kenneth Stone." A few seconds, and the voice of the telephone business office. "I'm sorry, madamo. That telephone is now listed under the name of Susan Weiss. Mr. Stone's name is no longer listed in our records." Norah knew, somehow, that it was true. But still, there was no harm. Perhaps if she kept calling he would answer the telephone some day. It was the same way when she entered the lobby of the New Amsterdam Hotel,

where they used to meet. To-night he was not among the eager men who were waiting for girls. Nor had lie been there last night, nor the nights and nights and nights before that. Jiut tomorrow, perhaps, he would bo there. If she went to enough of the old places and did all the same things, one time she was bound to be lucky; one time lie would be there. It didn t take reason to believe that, so, of course, Dr. Waldron couldn't see. It took intuition. Norah smiled. The whole thing had never occurred to her in those early days after Ken's death. But now she knew that no one with Kens vitalitv, his hunger for life, for the keen, "small things which made each day so exciting, could just die. It wasn't natural. But it took a great deal of believing to get it all straight. It was easy to feel discouraged. She felt discouraged again when sho reached the street where she lived. Her apartment seemed so high up and the building so stern and heavy. Four windows from the top was her home, twenty storeys high. The window was dark. She wished the cleaning woman had sense enough to leave a lamp on. All at once sho felt very tired and bloodless. At the desk she asked if there had been any messages. There had been none. In her mail box there was a reminder from her dentist and a blotter from a rug-cleaning place trying to get next spring's business. She nodded to the elevator man, /who said that it was a sharp day. Yes, very sharp, she answered. How funny to be giving and taking worthless words! What difference could it make? Cold to-night. Warm to-morrow or next summer. Saying little silly words. K, : . Sho lighted the lamp near the couch, lighted the yellow lamp near the armchair, and gave the wood fire a shove or two with the poker. How tired she was. In the mantel over the fireplace she could see lier face when sho straightened up. It was palo as the gardenia on her lapel. Her lips, her eyes, and the hollows in her cheek seemed to have been painted by the same dark brush. When she took off her hat, her hair, dark and shiny, lay flat against her head as ?.f it were painted there, too. She remembered a poem Ken had once written her. Though she didn't like poetry this one seemed lovely and

Short Story By SELMA ROBINSON

right. It was something about a face like a water-lily and hair like seaweed at night. Water at night always made her shudder. It looked so sinister and commanding, so treacherous And a lost lace Heating around in it like a waterlily, and hair floating about it like seaweed. She sat down in the soft armchair and shut her eyes. The light from the lamp came through her lowered nils, but it was reassuring. WHEN she opened her eyes again ** and looked toward the couch opposite she saw Ken sitting there, surveying her with some amusement. His nose was wrinkled in a Binile, and light shone on his white teeth. "What are you doing, Norah—posing for a mask?" ho asked. She stared at him, coldness running from her scalp to hex' feet. "Ken? Ken? It's you?" ( "Were you expecting someone'else? he asked.'Then lie laughed, and it was like hearing a song, she had been trying to remember. "Ken, I can't believe it's you. I can't, really believe it's you, she kept on saying. He laughed again. "Well, who am I, then?" he demanded. "You're Ken. You're Ken, aren t you "Good work, my girl," said Ken. "But don't sit there staring at me so, as if I were a ghost. Haven't you a cigarette or a stick of chewing or a heartening drink for a man or my typo?" , ~ „ Norah cried, "Ken, darling. and sprang nt him. There was that familiar smell of tobacco and shaving lotion about him. His face was cool, and a lock of hair as he "kissed her, supped out oE place and brushed against her eyes. He murmured: "I've tried so many times to get you." "Have you, Ken?" "To-day, on the Elevated Railway Station, *1 thought you'd stop for a moment and talk to inc. Wby didn t you?" . „ Norah said: "Ken, then it was you I "Infant! You're terribly hard to convince to-night aren't you? Of course it was 1. Did you think I was going to bite a piece out of 3'ou the way you ran for that train? And then later, when you telephoned, I could hear you talking and I said 'Hello, hello. But you didn't hear me. And in the New Amsterdam I waved to you, but you went past so fast." Norah looked at him. His eyes, next to liors, looked so big. She smoothed his cheek with her forefinger. "But Ken," she said, "the doctor told me I was crazy, or something. Oh, Ken, I knew, I knew. If I just kept on I knew you'd come." Ken held her away from him for a moment and spoke to her slowly, impressively quiet. "I've been trving for a long time, Norah. I'm tired and I can't come again. It has been months now. And you must decide this by yourself, without any coercion on my part. Listen to me carefully, sweet, and make up your mind. You know what day this is. I have come to get you, but only if you want to go. If you do want to go you must come with me now, at once. You mav bo frightened. You may even regret it. But I want you to know I can't come back again. I have a long, long way to go." For answer Norah her arms around his neck and held him close. "Can I put some things into a bag? Will you wait?" Ken laughed "You silly goose. You won't need anything. Come just as you are." "Ken darling, let's go. Lets go quickly. I'm all ready." They rose, and Ken took his bags, strapped as they had been earlier in the day. "Promise me you won't be frightened; promise me you'll do just as I say, Norah." "I promise," she said. Slie followed him into the bedroom and over to the window. He said, as they raised the window. "When I give you the signal take mv arm and let yourself over the sill with me. Don't be frightened, darling. Just hold on to my nrm and shut your evos and you won't mind. I'll never let you go." They looked down into the courtyard. 20 stories below. In the oblong of light reflected from the cellar opening they could see Steve, the service man. wheeling an ashcan into the house. Ken motioned her back. "Wait iust a minute." he said. They waited. Tn the apartments opposite women were in their kitchens prepar ing dinner. The sounds of nots and cliinn came from the onen windows, and little wisns of steam drifted out. Again thev looked down. The court was desorted. The light from the cellar was like a tomb-shaped snot-light. Sh<» turned to look at Ken. He smiled and nodded his head. "Now," ho said.