IT'S ALL IN THE GAME

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23115, 13 August 1938, Page 12 (Supplement)

IT'S ALL IN THE GAME

Cc A WOMAN professional for our golf club," exploded Ponder. *• «*• "I never heard of such a thing! We have stood a lot from you, Lancelot, but this is the limit." Our secretary waited quietly for Ponder to go off the boil, and then said, "Now, gentlemen, it is only for a few days. Our pro. is away sick, and he would be grateful if his sister could carry on until he returns. Incidentally, she was the ladies' county champion a few years ago." , Cooing Noises "Ugh 1" grnnted Ponder. "And as she is getting married shortly," continued Lancelot, "she would be glad of the chance to make a little extra housekeeping money. Perhaps," he added, softly, "you had better meet her." He went to 1 the door and called, "Miss. Irons. A moment, please." The Vision entered. I took my feet off the table,' and hurriedly straightened my tie. The committee leaped to its feet as one man. Ponder made low cooing noises.

By Denis Dunn

Sketches by Minhinnick

"I may take it, gentlemen, that we are unanimous," bleated Ponder, and the Vision blushed delightfully. - She went round first with Ponder. He said his short game had gone off badly. He would be delighted if Miss Irons would assist him. Ellis discovered lie had contracted a vicious slice. And Bradshaw announced that he was pulling and pressing badly these days. Housekeeping Money I waited for Ponder's return with some curiosity. As I expected, a toiling figure staggered into the smoke-room. It looked happy, if somewhat stunned, it was carrying three new clubs in a brand-new bag, a box of golf balls, a storm-proof jacket and a silly grin. "Been shopping?" I asked. "A most efficient girl," said Ponder, defensively. "Most efficient. Do you know, I liTtve been using the wrong gear for years. Look at these clubs. She knew instantly they were the correct length for a "man of my powerful physique and breadth of shoulder." "And the rest of the stuff?" I chuckled. "Well, she wants to make a littlo housekeeping money, doesn't she?" he mumbled Then he went home, after borrowing half a crown to pay for a taxi.

Ellis came in next, and I nearly burst out laughing. He was carrying four putters, two. boxes of balls and a sweet little canary golfing jumper. "Efficient young woman, isn't shoP" I said. "She certainly is," he agreed warmly. "Your "physique and breadth of shoulder," 1 murmured. Ellis glared at me, opened his mouth, shut it again, and stormed out,. It made mo chuckle to seo these follows so taken in by a pretty face.' The next day 1 went out with Miss Irons out of sheer curiosity. I drove a beauty smack down the middle. "It is a relief to take you round," she smiled, "after those tiresome old gentlemen. You have such a graceful leg action." Funny she should notice that. Only an expert player could spot the unusual excellence of my leg action. She could see I was not an impressionable I ass to be vamped like the rest of them, and with unerring instinct welcomed me as a fellow-expert. Not an ylss "If you wore the low bar shoes, instead of those studded ones," she suggested, "you would get an even better swing. I do admire grace in a man. But, of course, between you and me, you could not improve very much more. I'm surprised you don't use steel shafts, though. With that powerful leg action, you would add yards to your drivo." Jt is always pleasant to meet a prettv and intelligent woman who does not try to make capital out of her charm. A\e had an excellent, game, arid the few trifles I bought at the shop were mere courtesy. .1. thought of old Ponder and Ellis buying all that stuff. 1 wax gracious, but firm. I merely bought a set) of steel shafts and a new bag, bocnnso a good player should have good gear ; as Miss irons pointed out so sensibly.. You can never have too many golf balls, so I bought four or live boxes, a few tees, one or two caps and a jumper. The Lucky Man I did not take tho gear back into the clubhouse. 1 am a friendly sort of man, and my sensible purchases would have made Ellis and Ponder feel such fools. 1 sent the stuff home in a cab, and 1 told the fellows I had not bought anything. One must consider the feelings of one's friends. Miss irons had a most successful stay with us. We shut tlie shop after the second day because the stock had run out. Her brother came back to work yesterday and thanked us for adopting Lancelot's suggestion and kindly looking alter his sister, He said she and her husband were taking their honeymoon in the south of France. They were both grateful for the chance of making a little extra money at such an expensive time. "Who's tho lucky man?" asked Ponder. "Lancelot," said our professional, simply.