LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23061, 11 June 1938, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

1 Bv MERCUTIO 11

An Exchange of Courtesies Disturbed at the fact that his horse, which he had backed well to win, finished among the back rankers in a race at Ellerslie on Monday, an owner went round to the jockey immediately at the conclusion of the event and asked,' "What delayed you 1 ?" The jockey cocked a thumb at the mount ami with a voice that dripped sarcasm replied: "Well, you couldn't expect me to come in without your bloomin' horse, could you. The Press Gang

The Lost Terraces The passing of Mr. Joseph Mcßae, a hero of the Tnrawera eruption ot o2 years ago, recalls tlio emphatic view that ho expressed a couple of years regarding the late of the famous pink and white terraces at Rotomahana suggestions were then being made that excavations might result in the terraces bei/ig uncovered. Mr. Mcltae said, however, that in his opinion, the .terraces had been destroyed. 'When, after the eruption," lie said, "I was clearing the roof of my hotel of debris, 1 lounu. numerous fragments of the terrace iorj mntion —some nearly a foot in length. He inclined to the belief that the_ terraces had" been shattered into frag* ments. This is an important contribution to a controversy that lias been cropping up intermittently for halt a century. Dinner for Sixpence t Present high cost of meals has recently led a number of Aucklanders to reculi wistfully the days when Harry Bennett's Pier Hotel in Lower Albert Street served a two-course dinner, complete with cup of coffee or glass of beer, for sixpence. Older residents of the citv also remember with pleasure the estimable Bennett, a loyal American,. having the Declaration of Independence read outside his place of business on July 4 each year, the ceremony being followed by freedihner for all, and what wns more important, free beer. Movable Feast Little Joan, aged five, suddenly asked on Mondav why there was a holidav. Her mother, wishing to explain fully, said that the King's birthday was being celebrated, although His Majestv's real birthday would not fall until later in the year. The child pondered, and then had a bright thought. "Well Mummy, I'm not six until December, but could I have my birthday party next week? ' she demanded. Too Many Referees "In the multitude of counsellors there is safety," said a wise man of old. Had he lived to-day, he might have added, "but in the multitude of referees »there is confusion." An Auckland lad, wliose new school cap is adorned by the Lion Rampant, took part the other day in his first game of hockey against another school team. He came through fairly well, but he was greatly handicapped by the frequency of the Mowing of the whistle. He had, he savs, no sooner got going after being pulled, up than he lmd to halt again. All this, of course, was detrimental to rapid scoring. He Avas a wiser and sadder boy when he eventually realised that quite a number of matche.s were being pinyed simultaneously on the same field. He' had been loyally obeying all the whistles! He now suggests that each referee should have a special wavelength so that he could tune in only to the right one. A Testing Time After the great promise for good revealed by radio it is a pity that it should become a source of dissension in many homes and very likely the grounds for more than one divorce. There are. it is said, radio seta in 77 out of every 100 New Zealand homes, and this weekend. at a conservative estimate, at least half of these will he running into the small hours of the night, providing their owners with a ball-to-hall description of a game that women never really appreciate. What with the higher cost of living and the emancipation of husbands, fcives find their lot these days bad enough, and there are not many who will bear with fortitude and ( in silence a continuous series of noises emanating from the sitting room while they are trying to sleep.

A grave error of judgment was made by a leading Auckland sports body when it chose the press box at its ground as a temporary sanctuary for two small kegs of beer, which were to be utilised in connection with an important representative fixtuic held recently. The gathering of pressmen and friends hfid bnrelv settled down to enjoy the match when the super-sensi-tive nose of one of the scribes caught a fleeting odour of malt, and a short search revealed the 1 bios, with tups already inserted. One ot these was judiciously "milked" belore the arrival of a steward saw its removal to official quarters. A start was then made on the second keg and close on an hour elapsed before the steward came ill search of it. "Better have a round before I take it away," he remarked. "No," said one of the reporters magnanimously, "better take it away, there's only about a round lelt in it. Like Hitler' The motor-car has many advantages over the horse, but for an officer on parade it is nowhere near equal to the old-fashioned charger. The commander of a train of motor vehicles in the King's Birthday review found this out when he was wheeling his convoy into position for the march-past. Sitting down, he could not take proper charge of the situation, so he stood up in the car and made vigorous arm-signals. A small schoolboy in the crowd, who had evidently been a close student of pictures in the newspapers, was at once reminded of something, ' Look at that," he observed to the parent .who had brought him along. "There's a man imitating Hitler."

Up to the Minute The Australasian Insurance and Banking Record for May has a subtly sarcastic reference to the New Zealand Official Year Book, 11)38. It states: "Amongst tho new material are some preliminary results of the 10'iO census, and certain statistics of dairy farms, collected in 1936»"

A Rush of Marriages The registrar of marriages in Nelson seems to have been having a busy time of late in tying nuptial knots. I lie whole of tho eight marriages registered within a recent fortnight were performed by this official. Incidentally, he is also clerk of the local Court, but as there is not river much crime and litigation in this abode of fruit and sunshine, wedding ceremonies may not come amiss. Anyhow it is a plcasanter duty. No fewer than four couples faced the registrar on one day recently, two pairs presenting themselves at the sntno moment. How the problem of precedence was settled is not disclosed, but presumably the decision wnt ill favour of the coil pie who had been married previously, and who were now repeating the venture following an appearance in the divorce court. Of course, jf the supply of orange blossoms fails in the sunny city, there is always a plentitude of apple blossoms to fall back upon—in season, of course.