LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 22961, 12 February 1938, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

Oil tot the Wheels SPEAKING of butter, one cannot help remarking on the sales of that good food to Germany. It is variously reported that about a thousand tons have been sold over the last few months, and further statements point to a proposal for opening a market in the United States. This is certainly a good scheme, making for smoother running of the trade cycle, although it is definitely not connected with the greasing of the palm.

Reprieved Hearty cheers for Sir Ernest Fisk. Ho says it will be 10 years before television can become practicable m -Australia, and that it will not oust ordinary broadcasting for 25 years. \N hat applies in Australia in this matter applies also in New Zealand, of course. It is a great nncl stimulating thought that we have at least a-qual'ter of a century before we will have to look at Parliament as well as listen to it. Ur course, we will miss seeing the finish of the Bookmakers' Benefit Handicap (six furlongs), and will have to go to the dahlia show to inspect the blooms, but these are minor considerations, lhe cold fact is that when we see Parliament at work the end of Parliamentary government will undoubtedly bo at hand. Anyway, lots of us will not be here 25 years hence. Mushrooms and Honey.

The owning of the mushroom season prompts speculation upon the old question of who really owns the mushroom which comes up in the night without a thought of overtime. The public at large is inclined to regard it from the point of view of who-findf -keeps, just as it does a bit of ambergris that is washed up on a shore. Often enough, of course, the presence of a bull in the paddock provides the nine points of the law for the owner; occasionally he does so himself. But the early morning searcher can argue that as the owner of the land does not do a hand's turn to produce the mushroom he is not justly entitled to it. Consider recent laws in this and other countries, which deprive a land-owner of rights over oil that lies below his property. Furthermore, there is the old quarrel about honey. A man places a lot of hives on a few square vards of land. The bees work valiantly, refusing absolutely to observe the 40-hour week. The apiarist Kets the honey, but it has all come from the clover growing in other men's paddocks. The bees, it is understood, can go two miles afield without needing a radio beacon or a compass. Certainly it is annoying for farmers to see the mushrooms and honey of their land go off. These products should be theirs and should be considered in the matter of the compensated price. On Permanent Record

Journalists, tako heed, your words, though they have but light intent, may assume the strength of rock: Censors assemble your senses, your'efforts may be rendered unavailing by the waters. The permanence of print is well illustrated at the thermal wonderland of Orakeikorako, noted for its silica-bearing waters. There, on one of the terraces was recently found a copy of the New Zealand Herald of November 30, 1935. The date and some of the news items are legible under a thin veneer of pure white silica; the end of the newspaper nearer the mineral spring is thickly coated with the deposit, though its nature .remains obvious. Thus it will for long remain a monument to tlio mingled wisdom and folly of man. It is worthy of note that the date of the paper i« three days after the last election. What conclusions should one draw?

Popular Science More spectacular methods of museum display will be adopted in New Zealand in the course pf time, according to a

By MERCUTIO

visitiing export from the United States. Just how spectacular they will be he does not say, but just how spectacular they could be is open for anyone to say. The Defence Department has given a lead by parading its army stock-in-trade through the streets, and naval authorities are not unaware of the publicity value of sending their ships steaming round the world for all to marvel at. It should not be beyond the powers of those "who control museums to acquire a few lorries and organise a circus procession. Animals in glass cases might not bo as attractive as animals in cages—a debatable point—but at least they are less trouble to look after. And nothing would be more popular than, say, a stuffed whitebait on -a decorated lorry. Intrusions into History Reconstructing historic scenes in a modern world is a task beset with pitfalls. This was proved quietly but clearly during the week by a newsfilm showing something of the sesquicentenary celebrations in Sydney. Governor Phillip had landed, the Hag had been hoisted and the Governor proceeded to proclaim the sovereignty of His Britannic Majesty. As ho read the historic words there could be heard faintly in the background the drone ( oi invisible aeroplanes flying overhead. ' Other Way About

In applying the authorities' advice about varying the syllabus in the hot weather, one Auckland school went to the zoo during the week, and if the teachers had tried instead to deal with the children in a sweltering classroom, they might have thought the zoo had come to school. Money's Worth

Most of us like to get full value for our pence and shillings, whether invested in vegetables or Government bonds. Some of us, like a woman in a city auctioneer's last Friday night, prefer" just a little more. The auctioneer held up three pillows which had seen many years of service, but there was no bidding, even at a shilling for the lot. He was about to throw them with the unsold articles when a woman asked: "Are they clean?" He swiftly retorted: "Of course. You'd expect them to be, for a shilling." The crowd laughed, the woman took tlje pillows, paid her shilling, then fled. Fishy She had catered carefully for her guests, and as a novel delicacy had procured some caviare as filling for sandwiches. Afternoon-tea was duly served, and the young hostess noted with pleasure the popularity of tho sandwiches. She waited eagerly for the flattering comment that seemed justified, and was all attention when one of the guests, helping herself to another sandwich, said brightly: "I'm very keen on any kind or fish sandwiches, but I simply can't stand caviare." Nobody Home

A newspaper reporter sent aboard a liner arriving from overseas to—interview passengers knocked at a cabin door and was staggered to hear a voice from inside say distinctly: "There's nobody in this cabin." Curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the door, to see a steward arranging the room. It duly dawned on him that the cryptic remark meant that on that particular voyage the cabin was not occupied by a passenger. Oars Washed and Greased Purists and other lovers of the English language have recently bemoaned the tendency to coin new and strangesounding words to describe various trades and professions. They have pointed to "mortician," for undertaker, and "beautician," for a girl who works in a beauty salon, as outstanding atrocities, but the prize goes to a country service-station owner, not many miles from Auckland, who has labelled his place of business a "lubritorium."