Told by the Colonel

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 22949, 29 January 1938, Page 4 (Supplement)

Told by the Colonel

Bv TREVOR ALLEN

A MILITARY attache with a sense of humour as well as a privileged insight into official affairs could hardly write a dull book. Colonel Bentley Alott's memoirs are entertaining and exceptionally well written, displaying the European scene through the keen vision of an American. On the accession of Alohammed V. to the throne of Turkey in 1910, Colonel Alott had to join Air. Huntington Wilson, United States Assistant Secretary of State, on a special mission sent to Constantinople to congratulate the new Sultan. Mr. Wilson, the Cyionel records, shut himself up for a week to write the speech he intended making to the Sultan. When the auspicious day arrived, the official party was driven in state to the palace and presented to the Sultan and his suite in the throne-room.

"After much bowing, Mr. Wilson proceeded to read his speech, Mr, Carter, Mr. La ughl in, the secretaries, and myself forming a group behind him. All. of the Americans except myself were in evening clothes; but 1 had put 011 every glittering thing that Army Regulations would stand for. The Sultan Was Uneasy The speech was rather long, and during its delivery the Sultan stood teetering from side to side, for all the world like an elephant footling. When Mr. Wilson had finished, the Sultan turned to the interpreter at his side and said a few words to him in Turkish. "With an expectant smile, Mr. Wilson a-sked: 'What does His Majesty say ?' "The interpreter, stretching his neck and looking over the shoulders of the others, fastened his glance upon me and answered: 'His Majesty says that he greatly admires your beautiful uniform.' "That was the only reply that our Special Ambassador ever received to his spoocli." Colonel Mott snys of Mr. Myron Herriek. United States Ambassador to France. "He could never learn to speak the language even haltingly," and adds that Mrs. Walter Gay once answered a compatriot who was bewailing this fact: "What earthly difference docs it make? The Venus of Milo has no arms, the Aphrodite of Praxiteles has no legs and the Winged Victory of Samothrace no head; don't let us be too exacting about Mr. Hcrrick I"

Apropos America's part in the 1911 war, Colonel Mott quotes a story of Mr, 10. F. Benson's to the effect that 011 Armistice Day the streets of Boston. U.S.A., were filled with processions of

Memoirs of a Military Attache

riotous rejoicing, some of. ing large bankers with the legena: "We Won the War. 1 ;' J • The same tlav there was an English

gunboat in the harbour which beflagged herself, and to one of these flags some wng, who had been and seen the banners. attached a small banner which read modestly: "And WO helped." Then the gunboat, her crew - grinning broadly, put to sea. Mr. Benson, the Colonel, admits, was right in laughing at Boston's interpretation of the victory. "W'o did not will | the war," he nckls slyly, "but we dill prevent the Allies from losing it." A Doctor's Mistake | Colonel Alott recounts three stories which he heard the famous French gen- _ end, Marshal I'etain, tell against him- | self. When the Marshal returned to | Paris iu 11)19. alter live year* in mii* form, he found that such *»»f hi§ civiliatt;v-|. clothes as had not been eaten l>y the moths were too small, so lie bought* f a ready-made suit. | For two winters his- throat had • J bothered him considerably, and he do-* % eided to go to Challcs-les-Kaux to liavo | it treated. When liis turn came, the doctor told him to strip; examined him with minute care, took his pressure, thumped his back, listened to his heart, and then remarked: "You didn't have J very much to fatigue you during the r| war, did you. I As lie wrote the prescription, a® | added: "1 forgot to ask your name, "Petain," the Alarshal answered. | "Marshal I'etain." One day lie decided to go and see . his old comrade. General J)uehenc. who lived on the other side of Lake Hour-: get, and while waiting for the boat had some food and a talk with the land*, ] lady in a tiny restaurant 011 the quay. Presently sonic friends arrived and joined him v One qf them, Henry Bordeaux. later said to the landlady: you know who that is you have j us * been serving? 1 " * "No, Alonsieur," she replied. "That is Marshal Petaiji." "Why!" she exclaimed; "1 always , thought Alarshal Petaiu was a Pole | The Old Landlady Behind Cannes, in the lulls, there : ; s is a small village, Sospel, where, the Alarshal was quartered when he ivos*- 3§| a lietenant of chasseurs. 3 TUiilking lie would like to revisit the place, 0® -Jji drove over one day, found his old land* lady, Madame Carence, still at, til® J little inn, and asked her if she reniem* bered the early days. "Why. God-a-inevcy." she exclaimed# "then you must bo .Monsieur . And now I suppose you must have to be at least a major!" *| "Twcnly Years as Military Attache, t'olonul T. Bentley Alott. (Oxford Uoo«rwu I'rcss.) r ,