LEASE BREAKERS!

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22819, 28 August 1937, Page 14 (Supplement)

LEASE BREAKERS!

old Alex," said Jimraie I-* Frise, " he's always in trouble." "What has he done now V' I inquired. ■ "It's his lease," explained Jim. "You know that apartment he lives in? Well, like a fool, he signed a two-year lease." "It seems like a nice little place," X said.

"I know," said Jim, "but his wife has fotind the most wonderful apartment, bigger rooms, beautiful district, swell neighbours, everything modern and smart, for the same money." "Poor Alex," I agreed. "As long as he lives, his wife will bo finding newer and sweller apartments at the same price." "He's only been in this one four months," said Jim. "That leaves twenty months of purgatory if lie doesn't do something about it." "Let him put his foot down now," I decided. "JEte'H have to do it sooner or later. Every time that dame goes out for an evening or for tea, she's looking around for a new placo to move to." "Love," mused Jimmie, "is a funny thing. It isn't big things we love in people. It's little things, some detail, some little sot of trifling qualities. The way a girl speaks, the expression of her faco, the curve of her in a chair, the way she looks among other women. Little things like that a man loves. And for those little things, ho will pay with everything else he's got, his pride, his comfort, his money, his liberty, everything." "What Alex sees in Dora," I said, ,"I can't. . . ." "Ah," said Jim, "what a man sees in a woman is never, never the same. If it were, we would have slaughtered each other to the last man thousands of years ago. And anyway, if virtue and beauty wore the only things that appealed, how would nine-tenths of the women in the world ever get married?" "But Alex ought to lay down the law as far as moving again is concerned," I said. "This is four times they've moved in threo years." "Dora," said Jim, "is dumb; she giggles, she gushes, she flirts, she gets into a greater confusion and panic trying to serve a cup of coffeo and a few slices of toast before her guests of the evening dopart, than the .ordinary woman would preparing the New Year's family banquet. But thero is something about Dora Alex sees that is more than religion to him, more than life and liberty. What will distress Alex is not the folly of Dora in wanting to inovo every time she sees a placo sho likes, but his inability to break leases, his failuro to ploase her." "Men," I stated, "nro fools." "So aro women," said Jim. "Why do women marry men like Alex, instead of marrying plain, hard-headed guys who wouldn't permit them to carry on like DoraP" "Dora would bo a better woman," I declared, "if Alex made her too tho I mark." "That's just what 1 said," explained Jim. "Why aro womon so foolish as to marry men who won't mnko better women of them?" "You certainly aro mixed up," 1 said. "Not me," said Jim. "It's life that is mixed up. Men and womon. They all do .wrongs Everything they, do is, silly

and unexplainable. But so long as it is mutual, it's all right." "Two wrongs don't make a right," I suggested. "No, but two fools," said Jim, "usually make a happy marriage. And when a wise man marries a fool or a wise woman marries a fool, it generally turns out pretty happy too. In fact, most marriages are happy. Just think of the street we live in. Think of all the streets, miles and miles of them, rich and poor, with nice clean windows, and tidy lawns, and lights glowing within, day and night, year after year, and how much happiness there is in them all. For one unhappy marriage you hear about or read about, there

SHORT STORY—(Copyright)

"Why," cried Jim, "let's call Ales right now." Which we did, and Alex came over to see us at the office. He telephoned Dora so excitedly, you would think he had made a fortune in, the stock market or something. And Dora insisted on speaking to Jim and me to thank us for helping, and she fairly screamed over the telephone with sheer joy and Alex sat, flushed and with tear? of gratitude in his eyes, beaming, as if he had just been informed he had a nine-pound son, instead of a broken lease. So it was arranged, without delay, that a party should bo staged that night. Dora was simply limp with excitement when we were all gathered at 9 p.m. at her apartment, not only at the prospect of her dreams of a deevieweevio little apartment, but at having three men assembled around her. "Have you any old furniture?" I asked, after I had outlined the programme of lease-breaking to the troops, "any old tables and things wo can throw around? Because there has to bo a climax. It has to sound like a free-for-all." So Dora brought an old folding card table 'she had collected' cigarette cards for, and a kitchen chair. We, played poker for an" hour or so, and then about 11 p.m. wo began to warm up.

"This is my apartment," said Alex. "I can do what I like." "Your lease," stated the janitor coolly, "calls for peaceful possession and quiet occupancy." "It doesn't say I can't entertain my friends," countered Alex. "I have here," said the janitor, "a few of my other tenants who complain of the riot you aro making;." All three young men growled men"Are you going to keep quiet?" demanded the janitor. < _ . "I'm entertaining my friends," said Alex firmly. ' . . _ The janitor; stepped aside. The three young men in sweaters stepped expertly through the door. Without a sound, they seized Alex, Jim and_ me, exhausted as we were, and without injuring us in any way, submitted us to the most extraordinary and almost soundless indignities. My man picked me up and hung me head down while he gently bumped my head on the floor. Jim's man grabbed Jim by collar and slack of pants and gave him what old bartenders used to call "the chuckerout's rush" solemnly and absurdly around and around the room.. Alex was stood in corners on his head and rolled on the floor, while Dora screeched murder and the janitor politely urged her into a clothes closet ,ind shut the door on her. Then the janitor picked our hats and coats up from Dora's bed where she had laid them and carried them in his arms. The young men in sweaters, having thoroughly, painlessly and almost soundlessly subdued us —for those of us who struggled were almost instantly corrected in that little matter by _ expert twists or sharp little knuckle-jabs —took us each by the collar and propelled us to the corridor. And with the janitor leading, carrying our coats and hats, we were marched down the hall, between rows of partly open doors through which amused or angry faces peered, down the stairs and out the front door. Alex followed, protesting as loudly as one could protest in an apartment corridor with neighbours all looking out their doors, and when we were helped into our coats outside by the three young men in sweaters, Alex stood arguing furiously with the janitor. "I'll have you in court," he charged, "for bringing trespassers into my private apartment." "I'll bring thirty witnesses to describe the riot you were making," said the janitor. "You can't do this to me," said Alex. t i "I've done it," said the janitor. "You've broken my lease," said Alex triumphantly.- "by invading my home and not leaving mo in peaceful possession." "Wo'll sue you for your rent," said the janitor, "on the ground that you deliberately tried to break • the lease with a bunch of lease breakers." "These aro my friends," shouted Alex. "And.who are these guys you've got? They'ro not neighbours; they're no tenants." "No, indeed." said the janitor, "they are anti-lease breakers. No good apartment can afford not to have a "creW of anti-leaso breakers on call." "I'll call tho police," threatened Alex. "I've already called them," said the ianitor. "They'll be here minute. Do you want to be arrested on a charge of disturbing tho oeace? > You and your wife both? And these friends of vours?" Alex stood a moment and then ducked in the handsome big door. We turned and vanished smartly for our cars and the three voung men in white sweaters —some athletic cluh, T suppose—hurried off into the night. flno idon." said Jim, as wo drove hurnodlv away. "That's a new one," I said. "Antilease hrenVpvs." " V swell fixer you aro." said Jim. "T bet the rest of the tenants in that anartment house." I argued, "aro in a pretty state right, now. with those gangsters marchine in ar>'l throwing resectable r>eonle around like that." "On the other -hand." said .Tim. "T should think it t'-ould he a good object lesson to them all not to try any tricks at l«asr> breaking." "Tf T were Alex." I stated. "I'd move ont. of tliere in the morninf." "Alex." °nifl Jim. "hasn't a leg to e+and on. v 'tl> nil t'<ose witnesses to the scene, the landlord could sue him not onlv for his two years' reht hut for damages to +l>p,good namo of the pronpH" is well,", " T> oor Alex," T said. "Poor Dora," retorted Jim. "Married to a man with such friends as Alex's/'-