LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22777, 10 July 1937, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

Alienated Affections INDIGNANT, a King Country Maori drove to the nearest township and consulted a solicitor, who, after hearing his angyy client, informed him that he had excellent grounds for a divorce, and also, if he cared to institute proceedings, for damages a' 3 well. This was something new to Hori, who considered it was the best idea ho had ever heard. "How much you t'ink I ask?" he inquired. "You t'ink ten bob too much 3" . Gardening Hints Wot week-ends, monotonously frequent of late, have been the bane of thousands but a blessing to some. Husbands whoso wives drive them to work in the garden at every opportunity wero able to take their ease by tlio fire with the weather as a perfect alibi even when the hotter-half muttered into her knitting: "It is time to bo planting something." One suburbanite so persecuted, Mcrcutio learns, is a keen student of American talking pictures. His wife got the shock of her life when the little man "came back" at one of these planting hints with: "Sow what?" Slipping Badly Kawau Island has been slipping. There is evidence to show a distinct tendency to backsliding. The hills about the place have attempted such an evasion of their responsibilities as to cause heavy falls and subsidences of earth. This sort of thing is going to give the island a bad name. No sooner has Air. Semplo fairly decided J to go away, than some part of New Zealand must start to relax. Happy, Though Married They wero dancing together at the annual ball, and the girl, not lieing a member of the club. Kept asking her escort the names of various smartlydressed women who caught her eye. "And who," she asked finally, "is that nice-looking woman dancing with tlio Her escort glanced across the floor. "Why, that's his wife," he replied. "Oh, really," was the surprised answer. "Sho looks too happy to be dancing with her husband." When the Great Unbend New Zealanders at Home, while as a rule they.admire the English people tremendously, often remark on some of their die-hard conventions. Not speaking until you are introduced is one. But then the English have that wonderful saving grace of being able to laugh at themselves. A well-known comedian in a broadcast from Daventry this week told about the part ho played in the great ovation to members of the Oxford crew as they returned to the boat-shed after beating Cambridge. "Great bloke the Oxford stroke," he said. "Spoke to me, lie did, and never introduced." His fellow-players in the sketch pressed the comedian to reveal what the Oxford stroke had actually said. "Take your bloomin' hoof off that boat," "was the answer. Journeyings of Bishops The suggestion by Bishop Cherrington that in the matter of travelling bishops should aspire 110 higher than a motor-cycle reminds one.that New Zealand bishops in the past have often been content to adopt even more humble

= By MERCUTIO =

methods of locomotion. Several, including Archbishop Averill, havo covered many hundreds of miles frequently over very rough roads or no roads at all, on horseback. Archbishop Julius, in his early days in the Dominion, onco rodo astride a saddie from Christchurch to Hokitika and thence over the Haast Pass and across country to Oamaru, covering some 600 miles in all. I travelled alone most of the time, ho onco said. "There were few bridges and I had to swim my horse over many rivers." Bishop Sehvyn was also a great horseman, but in the early roadless days lie frequently trudged on foot with a staff in his hand and a pack on his back.

Labels and Their Uses Recent references to the fact that goods of New Zealand manufacture have sometimes been adorned with labels implying an origin in Britain afford an illustration of the importance of labels. Without them there would be more cares and perplexities in an already much worried world. One of Mark Twain's stories—in "A Tramp Abroad," is it? —bears on the point. In a refer once to some wine whereof lie and fel]ow tramps partook in Germany he remarked: "We were told that it was very good wine. It certainly was good wine. One told it from vinegar by the label on the bottle!"

"Action Front I" Charles, who lives at Takapuna, is an excellent citizen and likes other pcoplo to "do the decent thing." In his motorcar he travels across the harbour every morning on the 9 o'clock vehicular ferry. What a blow it was to him recently to be in plenty of time for his boat and then cut out because two field guns, drawn by tractors, occupied almost the whole of one side of the deck. "I'm as patriotic as the next man," he was heard to remark, "but it seems to me that if the service of those guns was so urgently needed in Auckland the sane tiling to do was to fire them from Devonport." Taken at the Flood

It was too bad that Mr. Fraser's tour of the winterloss north was upset by a spot of rain, In fact, the actingPriino Minister saw less of the country than he desired, because most of it, including the outlet roads, was under water. Nothing daunted, Mr. Frascr took tlio tide at the flood and proceeded to study the prevailing conditions. His newly-gained, first-hand knowledge of the north in the month of Juno will probably make him more susceptible in future to the winterless north's pleas for ilood-control, but ho will hardly be able to repeat the slogan of a former Prime Minister, "Go North, young man." A Short-lived Ministry- ■

The fact that to-day marks the lapse of exactly a quarter of a century since the advent of the first Reform Ministry in New Zealand recalls the ill-fortunes of the short-lived Mackenzie administration that then passed out of office. This Ministry did not have a chance to distinguish itself, as ft met its fate on the floor of the House at the age of ]OO days. It had never been able to do more than profess—and its claim was not disputed— to be a Ministry of Good Intentions. Another name applied to it was the "Top Hat Ministry," all its members being crowned with the pinnacle of fashion when they were photographed in a group. Mr. Massey's favourite term was the "Ten Minutes' Ministry," but as a jocular member of the House once observed, "There is no telling what good it might not have done if it had only been in power for an hour and a-lialf."